Child Molestation Signs
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Signs of Wrongfull Touch
There are thousands of children's innocents being violated everyday. The majority of the children that are being wrongfully touched are being wrongfully touched right at home by a family member or a friend of the families. Alot of family members don't know the signs of misconduct or they overlook the acts of a child thats being wrongfully touched, so in my article through my own experiences of being a child that was wrongfully touched by a family member I hope what I went through will shed a little light on what to look out for:
1.) A child that cry's continously when you drop them off at a sitters, family members, day care, etc. or cries when you leave them at home with a person and they never use to cry in the past.
2.) When your child tells you that there's monster in the closet or coming out of a vent and they just can't sleep because they were told this from the one who is wrongfully touching them.
3.) your child suddenly at night is taking off there clothes and your finding them with no clothes on in the morning.
4.) When your child is suddenly wetting the bed for no apparent reason and they never done that in the past.
5.) If your child is being violated at home your child suddenly is by your side at all times and doesn't want to leave your side or suddenly they want to start sleeping in your bed with you.
6.) A sign that I noticed is when you ask your child if someone's doing things to them and they have the look of fear in there eye's and there very quiet because the one that's violating them is in the room with both of you when asked.
7.) A dramatic drop in school grades at school and suddenly your getting notices home with your child that there not listening and doing there work during class time.
8.) If your child is female your child will suddenly complain of her private area being sore when she uses the restroom or her private area is red routinely even though she was tested for an infection. If male they"ll also complain of there private area hurting as well.
9.) You'll also notice your child not listening to what there told to do, they have behavioral out breaks and develope an hate attitude towards everything.
10.) You also notice out of no where your child will start calling themselves stupid and they"ll start hitting themselves in the head.
11.) When you child is telling you or someone to touch there private area and giving the private areas nicknames.
12.) When your child is constantly changing there underwear because they feel dirty in that area.
These are a few things that I have experienced and have seen happen with children that have been violated. If you feel your child is being violated don't be afraid to ask them but do it in a room where no one else is around, reassure your child that it's ok to tell you and that you wouldn't get mad and that it's not there fault, also reassure that if someone told them that they would hurt you or them that is't not going to happen that it's all lies, If that's one thing a violator does is they put fear into children that if they tell that they'll hurt them or a family member. If your child say's it's a family memeber don't doubt them by thinking no that couldn't be because I'm sorry to tell you YES it can be and it probably is cause most of the time it happens with in the family. I hope these things that I listed are an eye opener because many people don't know what to look for or understand why there's a change in there childs' behavior and maybe you need to ask yourself if this could be happening to your child.
© 2009
Copyright 2009
Written by Glstngrosepetals
To All That Still Suffer From Being Molested Never To Late By Three Day's Grace
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Hi .
My mother & I are like best friends . We tell each other everything . We always have deep conversations about are past . She's makes me a strong young 16 year old girl . We have been threw ALOT . She was raped since she was little until around 7 years ago .
A lot of multiple thing has happened to her . & she knows I was molested by one of my dads friends that he raised .
My dad molested his other daughters , family , raped my mom in front of me & my brother many times .
He molested me too , I didn't start remember him doing it until around 2years ago . Is that normal ?
I just always had flash backs about the son doing things to me . I was only around 6 . But after I started seeing my dad doing it to me . I would rememeber wakeing up in the mornings wet , not knowing what it was , but now I do . I would wake up in the middle of what he was doing to me , but to embarrassed to face him after , it would be so hard to look at him cause how awkward it would be . I always pretended to be waking up so just maybe he would stop , hoping . But he never did stop .
My mom knows that I lost my virginity to a boy that I went out with for 2 years . I'm not a girl that trusts anybody . Not friends family anybody . But I trusted him a lot , I'm in secure with my body , I hate people touching me on my legs , waist , anywhere . I have problems with that , I see things so differently from people . I don't like when guys hit on me , I'm not gonna lie a lot of guys want me , I have a figure , I've always had I guess since that happened to me since I was little . I have eyes that everyone wants , lol i don't wanna sound conceited but yeah I'm just good looking from what everyone says. But not in my eyes . I dont think so at all . But sometimes i wished i was able to trust people easilier . My friends always ask but i never really tell . Only sometimes .
People think I'm a hoe just cause I get a lot of guys but people don't know that I ignore them or I pretend to not understand or something lol .
When I lost my virginity my cherry never popped , I never told my mom that I never got to experience that cause I'm guessing there the ones that popped it , which is sad cause I think that's something special . But when I told her she started questioning , she knew about the son doing that to me , he was like my best friend though I don't get it . Then I I said well it wasn't only him . & she automatically knew it was my dad . She wants me to be in councilong now .
She doesn't wan me to turn up like her . She's recently got out of rehab , & got all four of her kids back . I got tooken away & was forced to stay at my aunt & uncles which they assume I'm a whore , just cause they knew what happened to me when I was little & thought j just wanted to have sex all the time cause thats How Usually girls turn out when they get molested , which not all gurls turn Out like that . My mom has always hated them cause my uncle always touched me in wierd places , never let me even be seen by a guy , never let me leave his side , said unneccessary comments about my big ass or boobs . And my aunt , she's always hated me . I have no idea why but we could never stand in one room alone together .
I hate my dad with a passion , I could barely here someone say his name . I haven't talked to him for years.
I have many friends who has been raped , abused . & just hurt by there own fathers . I don't get it . How could someone just do that ?
I have been threw much more , but I'm reading threw all these comments & it breaks my heart but I'm glad to know that I'm not the only one that feels like this .
That there other girls that has to live with something inside that'll always be there , with the fear of guys , or of someone that will scare you for life again .
But I'm not gonna lie , thats one of the things that has made me such a strong young girl . I don't show my feelings in front of people . I NEVER let people see my cry , or hurt . My mom has taught me the best , since we both went threw the same thing , we understand each other even more .
I'm thankful for that . I don't know of I would be the same young lady I am today if this has never happened to me .
But Girls stay strong no matter what . God bless you guys . It's always easy to just smile .
Smile now , cry later
Concerned: I think what needs to be done is this. You have two choices on what you can do here. You can wait for the child to come back from the moms house, see if she complains about it hurting down there and see if she says who did it again. If she complains when she first gets home do not bath her or change her clothes also if they don't want her clothes that they bring back home with her don't wash any of those either, what I want you to do is if she comes home and complains take her right to the police station, have her real father go as well, let him tell her it's ok to talk to the police they are her friends and it's ok to tell them who touched her, also when you go take any dirty underwear from there house with you as evidence, some police stations have a table with a scanner that they have a person squat on and it scans the private area and can show if something happened, have her father press charges. or you can get the hospital paper work see what it says if it says anything about being touched down below then her father can take that to the court house and file an emergency custody order and an order of protection against the mom and boyfriend and in it he needs to explain why and he needs to put on it that the hospital says she has been touched and she is saying it's moms boyfriend whatever his name is, you should put being molested, and it will ask if harm is being caused and you put yes private area bleeding and raw and child is scared and whatever else is going on with her. It will probably ask about CPS and you explain that circumstances as well on what happened there, that the child is afraid to talk to strangers, now remember she is with her mom right now so her boyfriend and mom are going to put fear into her and tell her not to say anything, keep log of all of this stuff what you posted here, reported, time and what she is saying to you. Whatever you do don't give up, keep bringing it to court, also you can audio and video what she is saying to you and also if she is showing unusual behavior like touhing herself, etc. You will win and get her away from this jerk just keep fighting for her and don't give up and have her dad go to these places as well, he needs to. Let me know how it goes and I'm so sorry that this little girl has to go through this crap. Why people feel they can do this I'll never understand there sick ass behavior.
well I ended up taking her down to the ER and she told them what she had said to me. they got in contact with CPS and we met with them they took her into a room by herself and asked her "does anyone touch where your underwear touches" she said no so now CPS says they cant do anything without her disclosing the information in a room by herself and she cant be checked by a specialist unless CPS calls them and tell them because it is too traumatizing (like being molested is a fun day in the park for her) and since she told me this i have been researching online and she has many symptoms of being molested lately and when i talked to her by myself and asked her "does anyone touch where your underwear touches?" she told me yes so when i asked her why didnt she tell the lady that she told me she didnt know she was allowed to which leads me to believe this man is telling her not to tell anyone. so now she is at her mothers house where this man is and when we talked with CPS they said this man was to not be around the children until the investigation is over so we told her mother that and the following day she is telling us CPS told her is allowed around the children. i feel so helpless and CPS is doing nothing !
Concerned: If I were you I would have her dad take her to the police department and File charges against that creep. Let her dad explain what has been going on and they will check the child out they have ways of doing this. The police will question her as well. I wouldn't allow her to go back to her moms and her dad should file with the courts for full rights and he should tell the courts she is an unstable mom having men come in and out of her home and putting his daughter as risk of being molested. CPS sometimes doesn't do crap to help definetly take her to a specialist and if they say yes her hymen has been broken and there are problemes down there get to the police station immediately and file charges and don't allow her back at that home. I think what your doind so far is good your taking the appropriate steps. Let me know how it goes.
i have a 4 year old step daughter who is only here every other weekend. Over this past weekend I was bathing her and she didnt want to open her legs for me to wash her then I began to explain to her I have to clean her ( 2 weeks prior she had complained about pain while using the bathroom ) that way it didnt hurt anymore because she had just been treated for a UTI. I finally get her to let me wash her and she cringed in paint when I did. Then she began to tell me her moms boyfriend checks her to see if there is toilet paper in there and I asked her does it hurt when he checks you and she said yes sometimes and sometimes he makes me bleed. so that threw up a red flag to me so I called her dad at work told him and he told me to take her to the ER to have her checked. I took her and there was nothing they could do at the moment since she hadnt been with the boyfriend in the past day. so they reported it to CPS and a investigation will be done. I had her father call her mother that night and let her know what was going on and she said its ridiculous that this is turning into this big of a deal and its embarrassing that CPS needs to come investigate her home. Is that a normal behavior? Also my step daughter HATES her moms boyfriend and never in the past has she hated any of her moms boyfriend (in the past 2 years there has been maybe 6 different men) Also now she has wet herself 4 times in the past 2 days (3 times at night and 1 during the day) and she has not had a accident in the past year maybe year and a half.. I am going to take her to get her checked by a specialist hopefully they can get her in today because in there custody agreement she goes to her mothers house this afternoon and my fear is if this is happening how do we let her go back into that house?
its kinda hard to just say this but as a new member i see many people been in my spot as a mother with a achen heart my life change from sweet happyness to broken pain on Nov.13,2011 i f#cking hate nasty people like Roy Alvarado thanks to him my daughter can't sleep she cant behave and she says nasty words this grown ass man raped my daughter while i was outside with my boyfriend not t make me sound like a bad parent but she was asleep it happened at midnight not only did i just leave her in the room i asumed she be okay at the time i lived with my boyfriend and well we lived with his grandmother i just love how his people seemed to be nice people i didnt ever think my boyfriends family would do harm my child was raped by his oldest cousin while we were outside hanging out thinking nothing like this would ever happen ESPECIALLY ME ;{ ... then all of a sudden i could here screaming but the first few times i ignored it then i heard a closer so i told my boyfriend i think baby is up so as soon as i got to the front door there was my daughter standing there looking the other way in a historical way i was blank minded you no until i noticed her diaper was half way off n she was pooped so i took her to the bathroom and thats when i just went from blank to PHYSCO UNFURIATED HURT SAD i new right there and then she was raped she had blood coming from her private i screamed for my boyfriend and he flipped out i told em what i saw and he was without words i went back to the room washed her off and immidetially called my parents to pick her up my daughter seemed calm she wasnt even crying i was she just kept asking me why you crying mommie whats wrong dont cry shes only two years old why in gods world would anybody do such a thing to a helpless child who cant and dont understand whats being done to them seriously ???? after i made the phone call my parents i ran to the kitchen grabbed a knife and went to look for the bastard who did this to my child unfortunely he left before i seen what was done to my child he smelled like poop and look like he was afraid so he said he was gonna go casino .. honestly i noticed he changed his shirt and all of a sudden needed perfume for himself ... he left blood n poop stains with his hand prints on the wall leading from the room my daughter was to the living room and as i started putting the puzzle together i noticed alot sh#t my boyfriend till this day is indinial i believe its cause it was his cousin and his cousin has kids who i assume he to has touched but they wouldnt ever no .. it kills me idk how to live if all i do is cry and take it out on myself now ya no as well feels good to let it out i just wish it never happened in the first place cause honestly the bastard never got told on i was threaten by him so im scared to tell and at the time i was scared to inform the cops ;"("""""" F##K YOU ROY you nasty fuck !!! idk how you csn live with yourself i hope you burn in hell ... cause and one day ill soon forgive you because thats what my god would want me to do but im broken and unhealed so till then i cant !!
lilbuggirl: Hi I think you should tell your mom the truth about what happened to you. It might make you feel better and lift the weight off of your chest that you've been carrying around for so many years. I'm glad he was convicted but he should serve more time for what he has done to you as well. I think you should get into counseling to help with trust issues and to also help you through this. I'm sorry this happened to you and I hope you get counseling and let your mom know that it happened to you as well.
I am sixteen years old. When I was six or seven, I was sexually abused. I didn't tell anyone, because I didn't realize what was going on at the time.I was just scared. Up until not too long ago, I had thought my experience something of the past. I recently started a psych class, and in it I started to recognize some of the behavioural traits in myself.As I learn more I come to realize just how much this has affected me, and how keeping it inside for so long affects me even still now. He was my babysitter. He had a girlfriend too, lived with him. They were drunks. I remember hearing my mom talk about it. I always saw beer around their house, I thought it couldve been pop. I only remember it happening once, but I think it happened a lot more than that. I have blocked out ( the term is repression ) almost the entire thing except for a few minutes, the way he did it....it felt like I was in agreement..at first. he somehow got me sitting on his lap. I remember his girlfriend up in the shower. He asked me if it was okay and he put his hand down my pants...after a few minutes I heard his girlfriend coming down the stairs and got terrified. I remember saying I had to go and running from the house. I dont know if she knew or not. The last thing I remember is walking the street alone thinking I would never tell anyone. I didnt know what was gong on, or why I was so scared. I dont remember anything for the rest of that day, where I went after, what I did. I had to go back. I begged and pleaded my mother please dont make me go back there. Time and time again I went back. I was terrified. I found out he had been doing it to other girls in the neighbourhood when he got convicted. I remember the first thing my mom saying, if he did that to my girl she wouldve told me, then look at me and ask, right? Ive always agreed. even if the story should come up in passing she always brings that up. its like subconciously, she knows. i have never been one to want attention drawn on myself, and at this some ten years later, I dont know what telling anyone would do. but any idea how to conquer the trust issues, the mood swings, the non comittal relationships, the self hate? id like to know...thanks
I posted the following a couple of months ago: After reading it again, I left out some key parts:
What I failed to include is that when one of my sisters approached my dad 30 years ago, it was about fondling her and he didn't remember. Side note: He was an alcoholic. The things mentioned in the dream were all real memories. The only difference was that there was that important detail I talk about. And when mentioning the medication, I think I failed to say that it has been known to enhance memory. Since this post I have confronted my mother and 3 sisters. 2 sisters and mom all confirm sexual abuse. I suppose my question is that is it possible to repress a memory for so long? I cannot talk to my dad about it. He has no recollection of my sisters abuse that she approached him about and vividly remembers. So how and why would he remember anything with me? I'm simply trying to connect many dots! Help would be helpful! Thank you again!
Hello, I'm going for counseling starting Jan 10 2012. I started taking a med for a sleep disorder. Nuvigil. It stimulates a part of the brain for more waking hours during the day. I don't know if it's the med, but I had a very detailed disturbing dream about my dad. He used to make me sleep with him as a child. I can account for the "breaking of my seal" so I never considered being abused. Well, my mind is flooding with thoughts and memories that could be making sense of my 52 years of life. In the dream, he was using the area between my thighs for friction. What made it more disturbing is that in the dream I could see "it" and "it" was uncircumcised. My dad is uncircumcised. I've talked to only a couple of really close people including my husband, who has been amazing. I have a feeling that I will begin to heal from 52 years of self abuse, anorexia, self loathing and hatred, anger, OCD issues etc. Here is a couple of many problems. I have 3 sisters. One four years older and two, each a year apart, younger than I. Dad was an alcoholic. He is remarried now and this is not a part of his current life. One sister approached him 30 years ago about fondling. I was soo angry with her thinking she was being convinced it happened. I feel so bad now. Should I talk to my sisters? Why drudge it all up with my dad, who I have always had a good relationship with, (or so I thought) and possibly ruin his marriage. I'm certain he hasn't been drunk or alone with any children. I know if I was to say anything to him about any of this, it would crush him as I'm sure he doesn't even know and or remember. You'd have to know him to know this. Is it possible he has suppressed memories? Seriously, after all we've been through in 52 years of life, and now, just now all of a sudden this is all hitting me? I'm excited to heal and move forward......
Confused, I think when it comes to the safety of a child you can never be too sure. You should always question anything you find strange but on the other hand the first impression I got after reading that is she is potty training. 2 is the common age to potty train. With what you have been through it is totally expected for you to derive that meaning from the statement made by your boyfriend but that isn't the only meaning it could have.
victimofchildabuse- I don't think that GOD will punish you, you had no control of what happened to you as a child. If anything GOD is going to punish the one's that hurt you. I wouldn't worry to much if I were you, especially if your happy and safe now. You can always talk to a priest,minister,etc and get there input.
Ijustknow32- Good I'm glad he was convicted. I'm glad she in know away from him. I hope you both are getting counseling though to help her and you. I wish the best for you both and hope you both can now heal.
Will God still punish me for being bisexual even though it was not my fault . For feeling this way after being abused .
Concerned Aunt as far as your nephews go they are too young to be considered child molesters at that age it is pure curiosity. just let them know that it is inappropriate to touch each others private parts. if the 5 year old is still doing stuff like that when he is 8 or 9 then get him help right away. maybe also ask him if someone has touched him that way. he could be doing what was done to him. my daughter after what was done to her was doing things to kids younger than her and when asked why she said because the kissing monster told her to. (meaning her molester)
things are way better now glstngrosepetals. her father was finally convicted not for what he did to my daughter cause with out her disclosures to authority there was nothing that could be done how ever he was convicted for what he did to the other little girl. i was informed by his own mother that he had to register as a sex offender now. i will not post his name on here as much as i would like to but for my daughters safety i have to leave it out. i wish that canadians had access to the sex offender registry like the states do cause then i would know for sure.
ijustknow32- I'm sorry for what your child has gone through. I have to say that I'm glad CPS is on your side. I wonder if you can request a different judge since the one that is assigned to you seems to have no interest of your childs well being. I thankyou for sharing this with us, stay strong and keep fighting for your daughter. let me know how things go. :)
i know how these parents feel when they say we should record everything that our children say, unfortunatly in canada that kind of stuff does not hold up in court. i went thru a big battle with my ex after he molested our 7 year old daughter she was only 4 years old when i found out ( he had custody of her) and he had custody because i too suffered from depression and was going to AA meetings but when found this out i was lucky enough to have my daughter for a weekend visit and i right away phoned child welfare who informed me not to return her to him. until there was a full investigation. during the investigation i had to still give him some sort of access to her he was able to talk to her on speakerphone and he got supervised visits one day a week for a few hours. unfortunatly because there was no physical evidence and she would not disclose anything to the authorities he ended up getting unsupervised visits. that devasted me i wanted him to pay for what he had done i wanted the courts to help me protect my child. and they failed (so i thought) then suddenly there was a light. my daughters father had struck again with someone elses child a child that wasn't affraid to speak up ( thank goodness ) i ended up getting a visit from child welfare in which they suggested that i go back to court and get the visits removed. that was hard to do because even tho they gave me a letter saying they had no concerns as long as she remained in my care the judge didn't see it as counting as visits too. so he still got access but it was supervised only unfortunatly it was for a whole weekend not just a few hours. i did what ever i could to work with the system to protect my child but nothing seemed to work so all that was left to do was to wait til the final court hearing. and take matters into my own hands (no i didnt harm him) child welfare paid me another visit and suggested that i move closer to my family and said that they would work with me to keep him away from her. i would have done anything to keep her safe even if i wasn't able to take custody of her i would have had child welfare step in and take her into their custody.
mentally111- I would like to know do you have visitation rights to your son? If not what you need to do is straighten up your life, which i see you said past drug use so hopefully your not using, also get your depression under control with medicines prescribed by a doctor seek counselong as well, also have the courts or do it yourself but have a place called TASK drug test you better yet file papers with the courts to have some rights giving back if the drug use issue comes up tell the judge that you are willing to have the courts test you weekly to see to it that your clean, this is a good thing for the judge to hear, it shows your willing to change but you have to stay clean from now on, as you continue to stay clean and straighten out your life continue fighting for more rights so you have you son more, maybe eventually it can go where you have him for a week and then his dad, this way as time goes on if something is happening and you son is with you that week and states something is going on you can take him to the police station and let your son tell the cops what has happened and hopefully then they will make an arrest. I know it's hard and it's baby steps but you have to stay strong for your son and don't give up the fight. Prove to the judge that your a good mom and you have your life together and stay clean I think you have a good chance at regaining more rights and then you can protect your son and he can go to the police. I'm sorry about your brother and I can't even imagine the pain your feeling but stay strong don't let yourself get weak and fall and if you have pick yourself back up and do what's right for your son and you. I hope this helps let me know how it goes.
My brother when he was 19 years old He told me my cousin molested him when he was 10, I couldnt believe it I was beyond angry, My brother and I were very close, So i wanted to literaly KILL HIM, . Anyways I tried helping my brother, I told him I was molested too, but we have two choices either we can be survivors or victims, I told my brother I was here for him anything he needed, But his world got too dark , I found him dead in my bedroom after commiting suicide , This happend in 1999. And now my 7 year old son is telling me his step grandfather has touched his pee pee and my son was very specific too, I took him to court and do to lack of evidence nothing was done, Of course the step father denies everything , its driving me insane i dont know what to do , i feel like a bad mother i should of protected my baby, I dont have custody of my boy do to my depression and past drug use, so his father his full custody, and the step grandfather is still in his life, my sons life , im still supicouse do to many reasons, one my step dad spoils my son with gifts anything my son wants he buys it, two, step dad acts too guilty somtimes or deffensive, I feel like my son is still being molested and i am powerless everyone sees me as the crazy mentaly ill physco . but thats not the case i feel like i failed as a sister for my brother, and now this is probably happening to my son?! Im going crazy i dont know what to do. I feel usless and powerless, I want to protect my baby :( help
??- It depends on what she saw on TV and what she is relating to it, but If your husband has done something sexually to your child then you definetly need to do something about it and get your daughter away from him. A grown man doing anything like that to a child is definetly not normal and it will probably continue. If I were you I'd seek help through a counselor but if he is sexually doing something to your daugher he will probably be arrested and he needs to be if so. Protect your daughter she comes first.
I think my childhood sweetheart who's my husband of 12 years has done something to my3 year old daughter she saw an Ad on Tv and told me thats what daddy done and went onto more detail....I just need to know can he stop...is there any chnace we can make things right..all my kids love him and they are not scared of him..Im sure they will be devasted as I am to leave...but can he get mental help...can he change?..or is it the begining ...So confused...I love my family...but will protect my children...
RioNilo- Thankyou for your comment and I totally agree with you.
Dear posters - I'm a mom of two girls and a victim of molestation same here no one believed me - my eldest daughter was also molested by the babysitter's brother and believe when I say this not by experience but because I've know of people of have been molested by their own dad - this is unthinkable and can't imagine how painful it must be for the mother to hear this from their own child, confront the husband and even send him to jail ...but please I beg you to listen to your kids, they deserve to feel safe and if the people who are supposed to be protecting them are doing these to them, who else can they trust. You may be heartbroken but they have a life ahead and our responsability as parents to keep them safe. Help them heal and get yourself help to get through it....God won't leave you -You are not alone ---Let's save our kids from these predators...they are helpless little creatures...please take care of them.
GT- Thankyou for sharing with us. I'm sorry that you and your son are going through this. I'm also wondering if the girl was molested at one point to make her do what she has done. I agree there are times when the system fails children and it breaks my heart. Lately it seems they fail more then anything. I hope in court the truth does come out about the case worker because it definetly needs to. I also feel your right a person does need to record and document everything including a name of who they spoke to, a time and a date. Please keep in contact and let us know how everything goes.
All I can say is, if you ever have a situation where your child discloses to you, if at all possible video the conversation. I believed my 5 year old when he told me his step sister was touching his privates and I am now fighting a major court battle for protecting my 5 year old son. Regret? Yes, only one, that I did not record EVERY contact I had with DCS.
Please, believe your children and protect them but record everything possible and MAKE SURE to seek help in the private sector before depending on an over worked, underpaid system -- especially when it is in a small town and eveyone knows everyone. That is why I am where I am, someone is doing a favor for someone and they apparently do not care that they have endangered the life of a child and adversly affected others in the process.
In my situation, there is evidence, that because the DCS worker had a desired outcome, she failed to properly investigate and her dishonesty will be proven in court, soon. Meanwhile, my son is heartbroken because he told and now he cannot see his sister and worse, my step daughter now lives with the person she fears the most (that is from her own mouth). She has said since her removal from Dad's home "no one can save me now".
Very sad and avoidable - please, be smart than me and record, document, record. Get independent non-family, good moral character witnesses involved.
But above everything, protect your children!
You will definately be hearing more from me! Thanks for sharing your story, I hope you respect that I am just wanting everyone to protect themselves too.
Gil- No your definetly not alone with the life style you have chosing. I'm not sure where you live but here on the west coast the lifestyle is alot similiar to yours. If your both happy then I wouldn't worry to much about it. Life is to short to worry.
Gil And Dina- Also you both chose an alternative lifestyle as many others have and people should not judge you for that.
Gil And Dina= Hi I just wanted to say if your both comfortable with what your doing and have an agreement with what your doing then that's your choice as long as you both are happy then I don't see an issue with your decision.
Gil- In my opinion I wouldn't go because I feel that in time it will cause problemes with your marriage. I also think that you want to heal from what has happened to you and that by going your living in the past. Your not a monster you have been through an ordeal that was very tramatic for you and it shows. I think you and your wife should find something that you really enjoy doing together and try to stay away from anything that has to do with the past. I think it would be healthy for both of you. Try things like bowling, playing pool,etc. Take a blanket when it's warmer and go outside and lay on it together and look up at the stars while holding hands and talking. I know in the bible it says God is against the same sex so I can't answer that question for you but I know God is a forgiving God and if you ask for forgiveness he will forgive but that means you can't go and commit the same sin. I hope this helps and I think it's a start for you and a new beginning by asking me for help, your admitting something is wrong and I can see it hurts you, I'm not a psychiatrist though and I'm giving you my opinion on things and what I would do to help me heal. I hope this helps you.
My mother did not believe me for yrs before she past away. Making me feel like monster. So, I finally told my wife. She was in the same way. The same thing happened to her. As, a child by her cousin. And now we are both going to gay clubs . Dancing with others. Is this good we don't know . One thing is we come home safe. Will God punish us for this matter. Plz help. Classes don't work.
Gil- I'm sorry for what you went through and are going through right now. Statistics show that when a male child is molested by another male that when they get older a male questions his sexuality because of what you went through, so what your feeling is normal do to what you have been through. I think you should look into counseling and try to get some help for what your feeling. I also think after you start going to counseling you should also be fair and honest and talk to your wife about what you have been through and what your feeling, if she truely loves you she will help you through this so your marriage lasts. She will probably be shocked and upset at first but honesty it is the right thing and you both took vows and if your love is strong you'll both get through this. I hope this helps and please keep in touch and let me know how it goes.
When I was 5 yrs old I was abused by my older brother. Over and over until we were caught by my other older brothers . And I still cont. to inter course with my friends til age 6. And life went on normal. But was made fun from my other brothers and now that im 44. And married for 20 yrs. My mind still confused. Wanting to go out with gay guys. But im married . I feel good thinking of being with other guys. My life is screwed up. Plz help me some one.
Laura: Hi I'm sorry for what you went through. I know exactly how you feel. You can still take action against them for what they have done to you. I'm glad your out of that situation know and that you have an understanding boyfriend. I think that maybe you should get into some counseling to help and I'm pretty sure your boyfriend will be supportive of this in every which way. I am truely sorry for what you had to deal with and please let me know if you get into counseling and how it's going and if you need someone to talk to I'm here for you.
I was molestered when I was 12 years old by my older brother then as I got older my little brother did the same I felt so discusting... I felt that it was my fault a few years on my grandad did it but only when he looked after us and drank alot. I really hated my family, I told my mum about it and she believed me at first but then I got scared because all of these strange people kept coming to see me so I told my mum that my brother hadn't done it and that was my biggest regret because when I tried to tell her again when it happened again she didn't believe me and that went on just before my 18th birthday... My boyfriend of two years now had rescued me I told me everything then he said did you want to live with him and so I did, Also when I was a child I used to cry alone in my bedroom and I couldn't explain it. I used to hit myself and wanted to just fall asleep and never wake up again.
Thank your for that kind advice.. I feel bad for the child if ever something is really going on since she is just two years old.. I will indeed try to talk to him but I don't know how to approach him.. I just hope and pray that nothing is really going on because denial would not help me in anyway...Being sexually abused as a child is very difficult you would really wonder why there are people who would try to abuse children ...
Confused: I'm not sure how close you and your boyfriend are but If I were you I'd talk to him, tell him that what he said sounded a little akward and maybe share with him why it made you feel that way and what you've been through. If he is truely in love with you he will understand and respet your feelings and if not then let him go because if he can't respect how you feel then he never will. I hope this helps. Also you might want to get into some counseling to help relieve some of that anger as far as the trust issue because of went happened to you that's a fear that just doesn't go away, I still to this day have issue's with trusting especially when it comes to my children.
Hi I wanted to share my own experience about this.. this is the first time that I would be expressing this kind of thing and I am glad that somehow I have this opportunity. When I was a kid, I was molested by my cousin who was way older than me, I was also molested by my brother.. I'm honestly full of hatred that this kind of thing happened to me and because of this I find it hard to trust people... This kind of experience is very traumatic everytime I remember it, it just make me feel so sad and disgusted.. I try my best to forget but somehow the bad memory has its own way of commming back. I don't know what to do.... Another concern that I have is my boyfriend he sleeps at the bed room of his older sister who has a two year old daughter.. He openly admits to me that he sleeps in his sisters room beside her neice. I didn't want to give any malice to that but if I look back to my own experience it gives me this fear.. The other day I was in his sister's room I he was also there we were both playing with his neice and then he said " Oh your wearing panties" while kissing her on the lips like a smack. That moment I felt fear in my heart. I honestly didn't know what to think or do... Can you please give me some advice.... thank you
Maddeline: I'm sorry your Uncle did that to you. He had no right to violate you like that. If I were you I would sit down with your mom and Dad or one of them alone and talk to them and let them know what happened to you and tell them why you haven't said something sooner and that your telling them now because your worried about your cousins. Don't be afraid to bring up the past because this is still bothering you to this day and you need to maybe get some counseling to help you get through the memory of what happened. Please talk to your mom or dad and let me knows how it goes. I think doing this is the right thing to do and you'll also being saving your cousins by talking to someone about it.
hi i'm now 17 but when i was 14 i was touched by my friends uncle in the gential area, i don't know what to do, i have told friends but still find it difficult to forget. i don't want to bring the past up but i'm now satrtig to get worried considering my friends uncle has children.
Ashamed: Im sorry to hear about this horific event. #1. Keep your daughter safe and listen to her. #2 Take your daughter out of the situation that involves him. #3 Get your daughter tested at the hospital or police station. #4 Confront him with your daughter in a safe place away from him. #5 seek counsiling for your daughter and you #6 press charges for child molestation as this will continue if you allow it to. Please keep in touch and any other questions i can help with please let me know. Please be smart and listen to your child.
I ashamed to say that my 4yr old just told me that my husband has touched her on her pee-pee. As a child i was molested by numores family friends and cousins n even a teacher it all strtd at 5 and didn't stop till i was 15 and to this day i have never told my mom n dad. But my daughter has told me and she has showed severl signs of it but i don't know where to start in takeing action bcuz she says it happned when we lived in our old house and i was at work well we moved out of that house 2weeks ago and i haven't wrkd in several weeks almost 2 months but her behavior has gottn really bad when she use to be a sweet angle and did everything she cld to be nice to ppl now she hits her self in the head gets angrey very easy and just talks jibber jabberish ll the time at first i wrote it all off as jelousy due to haven a new baby. In 9 weeks but she wasn't this way when i had her brother 1 1/2 yrs ago and she's always cryn when i tell her she has to stay home with my husband. And s well as severl other things. Please someone respond and tell me what is the firsstep that i need to take to get help for my child. She was brave enough to tell me wat has happened but I'm scared and do not know what i need to do. Sincerly ashamed by it all
Naomi: Hi. It's really hard to say if something happened or not being that she is so young and can't tell you. I think the decision you made was a good one because I would of done the same by not allowing her to go over there anymore. I feel if a child is uncomfortable going some where or being around certain people then people should listen to there children's behaviors and not force them to be where they don't want to be. I think as parents if we start listening and paying attention to our children's actions then it just might help bring down the statistics of children being molested. I honestly believe you made the right decision, always go by your natural instincts and gut feeling... Thanks for sharing.
Tink: Thankyou for your comment. Something could of happened to you as a child but if you have no memory of anything bad happening I would think that being in the room and pulled up on a mans chest and being afraid could be maybe you had a dream or you possibly were some where other then home with your parents and just didn't feel safe. I think you shaking when your with a new partner is just your nerves from being with a new person your dating. I would just relax and enjoy the company of your partner. I hope this helps and good luck.
I have a toddler. at the time she just turned two. I made a friend thought I knew him well. then i started to notice that A. She was getting red rashes on her vagina, B. she would kick me and scream at the top of her lungs every time I went to change her C. she wouldn't let me out of her sight, D. she wasn't excited to go see her friend when ever we went there. So I stopped seeing them. I had no proof if they were mistreating her. I would even ask her by myself, but with her being as young as she was she couldn't give me a yes or no answer. then she started to play with her dolls and go right to there vagina. We no longer live close to them anymore or have contact with them. But I always suspected that her friends dad did something to her. but I wasn't sure. I wasn't susre that if everything i listed was a phase that all kids go through or not.
I'm really not sure if I should even be posting here. I have just had this feeling for a while.
I have this one memory of when I was a child - It was a dark room and I was being pulled up to lay on top of a mans chest. I remember not wanting to be there in that room. I remember being scared and uncomfortable. I remember there was a loud fan going in the background but it was still very hot. But that's all I can recall.
I do know that when I was younger I had a lot of problems with my private area always being inflamed. And now in today's society I sometimes start shaking uncontrolably for no reason at all when lay in bed with someone I'm dating.
Leticia
I agree with you. I think your sisters boyfriend is molesting the three year old innocent girl he is showering with. First, I want to know why in hell would your sister let an opposite sex person shower with your baby girl??? Thats just wrong. Its like he wants her to look up and ask questions about his adult body parts or something. THAT IS COMPLETELY INNAPPROPRIATE AND ABUSIVE BECAUSE NO THREE YEAR OLD NEEDS TO BE FORCED TO LOOK AT SOME GROSS ADULTS THING HANGING ABOVE THEIR HEAD IN THE SHOWER! I would talk to your sister about what you are hearing going on when you are by yourself with her. If she doesnt handle it call CPS before her boyfriend threatens your sister and they move away and that poor baby of God is in more danger. Trust your instinct because they are right. Im sorry, but your right.
MoMofKandK- I think your decision of not allowing your children over ther eis an appropriate decision I would of made the same decision as you did. I'm not sure if it's molestation or if something is going on but I'd bring it to there parents attention on what happened and you felt it was innappropriate and that whatever these children are seeing or whatever is going on needs to stop asap. I would definetly stick to your decision on not allowing your children over there anymore to keep your kids safe. I hope this helps.
Absolutely depressed mom: I'm sorry for your pain and in time your daughter will realize what he did was wrong right know the probleme is he brain washed her into thinking she was special and that it was ok and that's what child molesters do, the signs I have listed above are just some but not all every molester acts in there own way and your case just happens to be in a different way. I can understand why you still love him and why part of you hates him, it was a relationship that you always wanted and he trated you like you wanted to be treated it felt like true love but behind the man you fell in love with was another side of that person you didn't know about so I can see why you say you love him because it was a shock and you weren't ready to let him go but you had to because molestation of a child isn't right so he was taking away to prison. I know what I'm about to say will probably hurt and I'm sorry but if he was molesting your daughter then he truely didn't love you he was pretending to to be able to be with your daughter and he is wrong and sick for it but eventually down the road you will find true love when the timing is right. I'm so sorry your going through what your going through. Give your daughter time she is still very young and doesn't fully understand but as she gets older she will realize what he did was truely wrong. Please keep in touch with me and what you did was the right thing to do.
Letica- I don't feel any man she be taking a shower with a little girl or in the same bed with a little girl if he is alone with her in a room and she is whinning I tell you my ass would be bargging right into that room and going off on him and I call police immediately, I think what you need to do is call CPS and make a report telling them you want to remain annonymous but you need to tell them that he is taking showers with her and sleeping with her in the same bed and what you hear, your sister also needs a wake up call on whats more important her boyfriend or her child. Being quiet and not saying anything is the worse thing you can do you need to help her by saying something let it be known that you know tell your sister and if she gets mad then to bad your trying to protect your neice, I would also make it known to that creep that your onto him and what he is doing but first contact CPS and tell them exactly what you told me.. Please your family will probably know right away it was you but who cares it's your neice. Please help her, let me know how it goes and I think your very brave and protecting your neice is the right thing to do even if some involved get hurt.
Inuk: I'm very concerned of your well being as well as your daughters. I'm sorry but there is something going on there. A normal five year old shouldn't know that a mans penis gets fat that's a definite sign and she also told you she saw her dads penis get fat then he was naked in front of her and was arroused. You need to keep your daughter away from him, himalso threatening to kill you he's not only trying to scare his daughter but you as well and that's BS. You need to take your daughter to the police department and tell them what she said and have them check her and then you need to file charges and get a restraining order and keep himaway from both of you. Don't allow your daughter to be alone with him. You need to go to court after going to authorities and file emergency temporarily custody papers and an emergenct restraining order against him, but take your daughter to authorities or to an ER and they will call authorities they will probably do a rap test but that's to determine if her hymen has been broken, I'm very sorry you and your daughter are going through this but don't let that monster scare you from him threatening you and when you go to authorities let them know he threatened to kill you as well. Let me know how it goes please.
Concerned parent: I would if I were you sit down and talk to your son and ask him if anyone has touched him down there and reassure him that it's ok to tell you that he isn't going to be in trouble or anything. I would start there and see what he say's and then go from there. If he does say someone is doing things to him then I would if I were you get the authorities involved. Talk to him and let me know how it goes.
Someone Help...
Soo My Sister has 2 BabyGirls One Of Them is turnig 3 & the other one berly 1 & there both From Diffrent Dads i Wannna Know if the 3 year old is getting malested because the guy my sister is with aint her dad but hes the 1 year olds dad so ive been very close to my little niece shes my little princess & yes sometimes i dicriminate the 1 year old but its just that i watched the 3 year old grow becuse my sister moved with her boyfriend when she was just turning 2 and sometimes i notice strange thing i really dont get along with him but im always thhere to hang out with my sister and i see how he showers with the 3 year old and i always hear her scriming ouch ouch but my sister dont take it wrong she just says she dont like the water and right now its 11:00pm and my sister was showering and i felt hering her wining she was in the room with him and her baby sister i had my ear close to the wall and i i think i did hear her winning i dont know if its just me but sometimes ive notice he never leaves me alone with her like everytime im with her hes there i dont know if he thinks im feeling something is going on hes always there i love my little niece so much i would never let someone hurt her and i cant ask her becuse she dont talk yet all she says is ouch,water,blue and small words like i dont know what to do i really wanna know if hes doing something to her please help me i dot wanna tell my sister cause if i do then shes never gonna let me go to her house i need to know if these are signs of molestation
Almost four yrs ago I met a man and absolutely fell in love for the first time in my life. I already had four children (all girls) they were 11.10.7. And6 months. Two yrs layer my life completely fell apart I woke up at 1 in the mourning to find my boyfriend outside with my 11 yr old daughter about to have sex. And apparently they had been messing around for two months prior to me catching them. My daughter hates me now for making sure he went to prison she lives with her father now and refuses to see me because I protected her and stopped it. She thinks it was all ok and she planned on running away with him. I had found out I was pregnant with his child the mourning before this happened but due to all the stress I did end up loosing the baby as well. I lost my baby. My daughter and the live of my life and in a matter of hours. Prior to meeting him I had been in many flings but never such a relationship as I had with him I say all this because the signs listed above were absolutely not true at all. Because of her age he had her believing he loved her and was never forceful with her and her behavior towards me during the time he was taking advantage of her was actually better because she did not want me to have any idea that anything was going on and since this has all happened I stay at home all the time I will not leave my children with anybody and I will not even think about being with any man but the worst part is I still secretly love him but hate him as well for what he has done to my daughter and my family
my daughters 7 and 4 recently spent the night with my sister and her two kids 7 and 5. they came home telling me that my 4 year old nephew wanted to put his pee pee in my 4 year old daughters pee pee. My sister wrote it off as normal behavior. I understand little kids exploring them selves but is it normal for them to know what and where they are supposed to put it when they are with another person? I made the mistake of writing off the comment that my 7 year old daughter made three weeks prior about him wanting to put his thing on or in her butt. My sister has a boyfriend that the whole family is leary about is my nephews behavior normal or is it a sign of molestation? or a sign of him being exposed to my sister and the guy doing things that should be done behind closed doors? My girls are no longer allowed over there and I explained to them that nobody should touch them in their privates kids or adults is there any other advice that you can give to me to handle this?
I have a daughter that just turned 5 and I've been having these suspicians of her dad doing something unimaginable to her. I have only 2 children a boy and a girl and the boy is older by a year. I was out of town for about 3-4 months and both children were with their father. When I came back home, my daughter was unbelievably humping and I have seemed to realize that whenever I gave her baths she would say it hurts on her bum area (that's her vagina) when I washed her. So I had these thoughts and my mother lives in the same place as we do and my kids are able to visit her anytime they want, but she has said that my daughter did not even want to be touched or held anymore. But there were times after I have been out I realized that she was also humping her dads legs and told me that she's seen her dads thing "get fat". When I asked him he got frustrated and went nuts on me. I just asked him politely but he flipped out and told me that next time I think like that, that he's going to kill me. What am I to think? What am I suppose to do? I am totally confused. He even started asking me how my dad would feel if he were to be accused of molesting me. And he tries to love her more then her brother too. We have only 2 children and he tries to have more attention with our 5 year old daughter. HELP!! I need information and suggestions. PLEASE!!
Hello, I am concerned for my son because he has shown some of those signs, but I am not sure if I am being paranoid. Can you please give me your thoughts.
I am a single father and I share 50/50 custody with my 4 year old sons mother. She has a boyfriend who she seems to always be with.
My son always begs not to go with her and always asks why he can't stay with me all the time. He has expressed a strong dislike for the boyfriend but will not explain why. Could be jealousy of the attention he steals from him... However he always expresses sadness when she's with him. My sons mother is somewhat caught up in her own world and often doesn't pay as much attention to my son as I think a mother should. I wouldn't put it past her if she's left him alone with her boyfriend before on a few occasions.
Here are the signs he's shown.
Within the last 6-12 months he's began hitting himself in the head out of frustration when he messes up on a video game or something like that. There is a mentally handicapped girl who is the granddaughter of my son's mothers roomate. She visits often and my sons mother says he picked this up from her. She does it all the time, and my son does mimick, especially older kids so this is believable.
He's afraid to sleep at his moms house. He's told me and her many times that her house is scary and he doesn't like being there.
About a week ago when he was staying with his mom he woke up in the middle of the night screaming that his private parts hurt... To the point that she rushed him to the hospital. He's had really bad heat rash since he was a baby and was experiencing similar symptoms however he ended up falling asleep after spending sometime in urgent care and his mother took him home.
He also tried grabbing my private area as well as his gradfather, my dad. It was on the same day and it seemed like he did it to get attention, sort of like he knew it was something you're not supposed to do and without knowing the reason why he thought it was funny. however i communicated to him multiple times that day and others that NO ONE is allowed to touch his privates and he is not allowed to touch anyone elses. He got the point and has never done it again...
Anyhow these are the things that have happened that are on your list. Every one I mentioned seems to have had some sort of other explination than he was molested, but because I don't see him 50% of the time and I know how his mother is not as watchful as I think a parent should be I feel very uncertain. Plus because I am not around him all the time I don't have any sort of evidence within the circle of people she is around to prove anything.
I like your article but in some ways it's made me feel really uneasy and I am not sure if I should be or not....
Can you give me some advice?! How do I protect my child if he shows some of these signs, but I have no evidence on anyone and I don't see him 50%?! Any thoughts?!
Thanks!
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Concerned Parent
Hi, GlstngRosePetals. I emailed you about the prob that I am having. Please kindly reply to my dilemma. Thanks so much.
I know this sounds like I'm making it up.. But just read this.. Ok.. Long time ago when I was six or seven I was malested by my sister who was seven or eight at the time.. I tell no one.. And soon I forget it even even happend.. Soon after I turn 14 though.. I was laying in my bed and talking to my friend on the phone.. But I soon get off and I'm ready to go to sleep.. But.. My sister is talking out in the hall way and when she says "I promis.. I won't do it again.." I am suddenly remembering the hole molestation scene like its happening again.. I fall to the floor and cry.. With fear anger and surprise.. I was scared of my sister and angry at her at the same time and I was surprised how I could forget something like that.. Soon after I turn fifteen I tell my dad and the only thing he says that "she was too young to know what she was doing. So you should forgive her.." those are his exact words.. And when I tell my mom soon after that we didnt talk about it because my sister was always around... What's sad is that I don't think my sister remembers it.. And now every time she talks I lash out at her with my words and always scream at her.. I'm sixteen now and I really do truly hate my sister for doing that to me..I wish I knew what to do...
Alone: Hi You need to either contact the police or find away to get yourself to the hospital to the emergency room. I'm so sorry you went through this and I know your scared but you did absolutely nothing wrong and you don't deserve what happened to you. It saddens me that your mom doesn't belive you but I believe you. Here is my personal Email and if you need my help with contacting authorities please write to me and I'll contact them for you so this doesn't happen to you again. Here is my email hazard_kathy@yahoo.com Please contact me ok.
im 15 and my mom new boyfriend raped me last night after my mom and he got into a fight i don't know what to do i told her she doesn't believe me she says it was a bad dream but it wasn't im hurting on the inside and out i don't know what to do
Laura: There could be something going on If your childs private area is red and she is making accusations you might want to really think about it, a person that is molesting a child isn't going to come right out and say to you yes I did it there going to deny it. Your best bet is to have your daughter looked at by a doctor and see if any pentration or anything like that can be noticeable down there and then go from there if the doctor see's something then something is going on. In the mean time I'd keep your daughter safe from him and don't allow her to be alone with him until you have her hecked out. I really don't see a 6 year old making something like this up. You really need to have her looked at by a doctor. I hope this helps.
my niece is 6 years old,she is acusing my husband of sexual molestation. And my mom told me one her vagina was very red, and she ask her if my husband did her something and if he touch her. My husband say he is inocent he wont do somthing like that,i find my mom question allowed my niece to formulate a story from it. She treats my husband nice and dont anysings of molestation and i dont know if she dream it or what realy took place. Iam concern
confused86- Wow I have to say from what I just read I would definetly think something was going on, it's a good thing that she doesn't live with you anymore so he can't hurt her but you might want to consider if being with him is something you really want especially if you have suspisions of things. It worries me because if you have children together what's going to happen then. I would really think abou this if I were you, maybe it's time for you to kick him to the curb especially if you have to question yourself about things he could of done.
confusedhurtand scared: I'm sorry for what your going through but don't let that monster take over you. Suicide isn't the answer and I know how you feel on the inside living with what happened to you everyday of your life. I feel that you should get into counseling and get some help and talk about your feelings. If you feel your son is being violated then get him out of that situation and also maybe get him into to counseling with you. I'm not a counselor but I think your a very strong and brave person and you have taking the first steps into getting better. I think counseling would help you alot. Let me know how your doing.
momof02kids: I would ask her more if someone at school is touching her and I would get her out of that preschool asap.. If she is telling you it's a secret then I would think something is going on... Do her a favor and get her out of there... I'm so sorry your child had to experience this, no child should be touched.. Don't send her there anymore it makes me sick that people do this to young children and think it's ok.. If you can get her to tell you who is doing this go to authorities and have that monster thrown in jail. Let me know how it goes.
hi so this is hard to explain my sisyer was abused a eight by a teenage nieghbour. this affected are familu till this day she is now twenty six however i found out years later as i was so uoung. since then my family think something happened.or i seen simething at eight i tryed to kill myself complaining of minsters ugly people wanting to kill mr this went on for years until after this then at sixteen i got drunk banged my head and went into abit of a state were a blacked iut screaming and scream saying stuff like no no he is going to hurt her no no i was sucidely my whole teen life suffered from deppression and anaxeric andbumlic hmmm periods i i have low selfesteem and have alwsus felt sick when fully naked i have asked my sister if she knows anything becausr in a few fits she has said to.me a should of protected u her reply is that she meant as she used to take her anger out on me beatings etc i need this sorted as i have bad trustvissues i found out that a guy i worked with was a pedo and i had to beg to be moved he would ask about.my son it made me sick i got deppressed and bad anxiety . i finally got moved after five months then i found out i met anither one at a friends house am stressing they r everywere the problem ?i have a sin and my issues r will rub if on him recently he is hell to get into daycare actual has to be pulled of me he wont go to sleep keeps getting into my bed holding me tight putting his head under my skirt he keeos getting so upset and stripping refusing to put clothes on however if u take hus nappy if he gies insanr uytil another is on should i worry or is it my issues cause i dont want it to affect him
Ok i posted a comment but i dont know why i cant see it so im going to rewrite it all because i need help.. He will be DAN she with be JEN.. AND no that is not there real names easier to understand with names i think.. so again not real names
Ok so im 26 dating a 39 year old been together for 3 4 years now.. ive had two ectopic pregnancy by this man. I love him i truly do and this is y im stuck and dont know what to do..
They lived alone in new york in a one room studio apartments or rooms.. where ever they could Jen mom is not involved in her life... She lies all the time and starts trouble with the neighborhood kids and in school.. she has spent two weeks at the children hospital because how bad she was getting she would hurt the dogs and say she is going to hurt her self or hit her self.. if its attention it didnt matter if it was good or bad she wants mostly from her dad when we would be together.. She turned a hatered for me after realizing her dad loved me and we were together.. no more miss nice kid going bowling playing games and so forth.. She even said she would kill me and the baby on the first ectopic.. she had a bed time it was his favorite time because she wasnt up anymore.. but she could do whatever she wanted and he didnt discipline her for her actions at all.. now i have a base of stuff let me get to why i really am here...
I meet them after they had moved here and lived in his brothers house again sharing a room with her.. before moving to a trailer.. she still slept in his bed a nine years old when i meet them.. when they moved to a trailer where she had her own room she still wanted to sleep with him.. Jen would pretend she didnt know how to bath or wash her hair.. so Dan would have to go in and show her how to wash herself.. Jen did it so much that i began to go in and help in stead of him.. and she still didnt know how to clean her self she would take a shower so fast that he hair wouldnt even be wet.. One time sitting on the couch in the traitor and i dont remember what was said before i think it was time for her to go to her room and she said something about what r u guys gonna do what u do with ur hands up and down.. i dont remember what was said after or anything because at the time i wasnt worried about anything.. then someone asked me when i told them how old Dan was that "what is he a pedophile?" I look younger then i am and the guy liked me... I started to notice things and the above was one of them... he would always put his hands down his pants when he talked to her.. she would walk funny around him like trying to be sexy i guess.. she said she was marring her dad... he was her boyfriend.. always pulling her cloths and stretching them out pulling up her shirt to show her chest things like that... we moved to another state.. she got lice and he was cleaning her hair he wanted to shut the bathroom door i said no u dont need to do that i went in to the kitchen cook dinner i came back to the living room to set something on the glass table in the living room to hear and look towards the bathroom whispering that sounded like jen stop my name.. he suck her teeth and the shadow of her arm moving away from him and her turning back to face the other way not towards him any more.. i got up and when to the door way of the bathroom and he quickly turned to the counter pressing his hips to the counter top and washed out the comb he wouldnt look at me.. later on down the road she was moving to her grandmas house we were in financial trouble.. the night before she left dan and i got drunk i went in side he smoked his cig i tried to stay awake for him but i dozed off not sure how long it was but i got up to see where he was and he was coming out of her room with his pants undone and stood in front of the bathroom mirror before going to the bathroom.. when he walked in to are room his pants where buttoned up.. when i said something about it he got mad and yelled "what do u think im f*king my kid" i said "are u" i cant remember what was said..
He calls her baby and calls me baby when i say i love u dan he says i love u baby.. are names are similar and i think he has said he name laying on me in bed after sex or something and almost asleep and ill say i love u dan and it sounds like he says her name..
Whwn i was younger my dad got hurt i dont remember anything from my childhood.. and wonder if i think these things or notice because it happened to me and im blocking it out on top of my dad getting hurt when i was 8 that left him unable to work... i always had a uncle that creeped me out.. Please someone help me understand y i think or wonder if he has done these things to his daughter when he is doing them to me or that he is thinking of her when he is with me things like that? is he one or was i when i was younger?? How do i stop thinking this about him or how in the world do i prove it when she isnt living with us now so i cant put cameras up like i wanted to i didnt have the money when i wanted to put them up or i would have.. please someone enlighten me with info whatever i need please someone comment email me whatever whoaim00@yahoo.com please before i go insane trying to figure this out!!
Ok im 26. The man i have been seeing is 39 has two daughters one lives with a family friend and has almost her whole life.. the other daughter lived with him when we meet.. I use to babysit for him while he would go to school we worked together as well. His daughter use to love me play with me all the time go bowling and more.. when she found out we were together she flipped out hates me doesnt listen to me or do anything i ask and her dad let her get away with everything.. Gets in fights with everyone around the neighborhood cant keep any friends because how mean she is... she told me she was gonna kill me and the baby when i got pregnant i ended up having a ectopic pregnancy... ok anyways she slept with her dad alone in a studio apartments/ rooms anything they could get well living in new york.. he mom not being involved at all.. she was still sleeping with him in the same bed at nine years old and she had her own room.. she mentioned something about up and down what u do with ur hands and i didnt say anything then he just ignored her i think i cant remember that long ago but that she said that sticks out.. she always says she doesnt know how to take a shower so he will go shower her or explain again how to take a shower.. she has done it so much that it go to be ok and i would get up and show her.. we moved and then she had ample time alone with her again while i was at work.. she gets lice and he goes in to the bathroom with her and tries to close the door while doing her hair i say he u dont need to shut the door and go to the kitchen when i come back i set something on the glass table in the living room look over to the bathroom because i hear savannah stop and her suck her teeth and say man and turn around with her shadow of he arm pulling away form him i get up and go to the bathroom he turns quickly to the counter and starts washing out the comb.. we got drunk on night she was leaving for her grandmothers house we were in financial trouble in the morning i go in before him and tried to stay awake for him to come in the room i wake up not sure how long and go to see where he is and he is walking out of her room with his pants undone and then stands in front of the mirror looking at him self before going to the bathroom he walks in our room with his pants button up i ask and he yells what u think im fucking my child and gets really mad and lays down and we go to bed.... he would always put his hands down his pants when he would talk to her he says he is adjusting... im so confused because im already in love with him before i notices all of this stuff and i dont knw what to do or am i looking in to things to much because someone said what r u dating a pedophile.. I need ur help how do i get solid evidence or how do i stop from thinking these things... she hasnt been living with us for a while now more the six months now i hope this wasnt so confusing i just had to get it all out i didnt know who to talk to cause if he isnt i didnt want people to look different at him ...please help me out
My son had said to his mom-mom that one of his cousin's had touched his penis. He does she to want to spend time woith her a lot I am not sure what to think about what he told his mom-mom. Any help would ease my mind. Thanks
My 3 year old came home from head start saying her private was hurting so when I looked to see what was wrong it was really red not to mention here lately she keeps her hand down there and she has became very rude and disrespectful here lately and telling me there r monsters at school and they follower home sometimes ???????? I asked her and she said it was a secret she did come out later after I told her she wasn't in trouble But she only told me a little says it a secret what do I she is my 3 year baby
forever114- I'd definetly keep an eye on him, also to make him feel more comfortable soap up the wash cloth and hand it to him and let him clean his private area. I don't want to say that nothing happened to him but I also don't want to say something did either. It never hurts to talk to a counselor if he displays more sexual behaviors and get there opinion. I would just give it time and see what happens but definetly keep a close eye on it.
Kayleigh- I would tell the children to report it to a counselor at school. Also If you have the children with you at one time they can report it to law enforcement. I feel bad that your reporting it and nothing is being done. I'd continue reporting it and if CPS doesn't want to listen then try to write the governer of your area and let him/her know what's going on and go from there.. I hope this helps and if anyone else on here has advice to give please do.
first off one of the signs was so upsetting for me
When your child tells you that there's monster in the closet or coming out of a vent and they just can't sleep because they were told this from the one who is wrongfully touching them.
i told my parents that my cousin told me little green men came out of the vents they thought it was stupid and that i shouldn't listen to him they didn't know yet.
i have vivid memories, i know what happened to me but my confusion comes from the fact that i was 8 when it started and he was 11, only 11 and he forced me to perform on him and then he did it to me. the abuse lasted for two years before i told a schoolmate he had touched me who in turn told her mom who told my mom. my family never questioned me more than just to ask if he had touched me, it was so much more than that. i was raped a few times by him. anyway i guess my question is how does an 11 yr old know all that he did to me. looking back at it 13 yrs later he used grooming tactics but he was 11 im just so confused by it all.
my email is godismystrength88@gmail.com if you have any answers for me its ok if you dont
My son is 4, almost 5. He has a very angry behavior, he gets mad a lot. He has started wetting his bed at night..but since hes 4 i just assume it a age thing. Today i was taking a nap and woke up and he was touching my private area over my jeans. God the pain i felt, i was molested as a child and i fear that might be a problem with why he touched me. He immediatley told me it ws the cat touching me, then covered his head up with the blanket. I asked him a few times why he did that, and he wouldnt respond. i gave him a few minutes, then cause he wouldnt respond as was "hiding", i took the covers off him and he cried hard, and tryed covering up again. I picked him up and hugged him and asked him if anyone is touching his privates. he screamed at me and said that I was when i wash him in the bath. That made me feel horrible, I expained that when i was his private area its because it has to be clean. He hugged me and told me sorry that he touched me. Now i only wash his area for a second, because i dont want him thinking or feeling weird about it. I told him I would never touch him in a bad way because i dont want him feeling as bad as how i felt, that being touched in a bad way by someone is a sad, hurtful thing..in my own word. Meanwhile im holding back tears because im afraid of the worst. I dont know if this is normal for a child to do at this age...and im scared. Ive asked him a couple times if anyone, daddy, sisssy, grandma, anyone is touching him or is making him touch them and he says No...i need help on what to do.
Hello I need help . My cousin is sexually abusing her children. I have reported this to the social services on several occasions but they can not find enough evidence to back my claims. My cousin physically emotionally and sexually abuses the children. I know this for 100%fact. I have seen the abuse first hand. And the eldest boy has told me in detail about the sexual abuse. None is listening and most of all helping these children.
For my angel: If I were you I would just come out and ask him. If he doesn't want to go to his dad's there is definetly a reason why? It could be he is being molested? it could be dad's rules? It could be someone living in dad's household? He is your son and if you feel he is being molested then tell him he isn't in trouble for anything and ask has your dad been doing things to you? Also tell him if is has the only way you can stop it from happening if he tells you what's going on. Keep trying and don't give up eventually he will tell you.. Sometimes coming out and asking straight forward is the best way because he will show bodly language or he will start to become emotional if that's what it is when you mention it. Let me know how it goes and I hope he tells you what is wrong.
confused: I see your daughter is a minor herself. I'm not sure if she will face charges but if she is in a psych ward then I feel your daughter has issues going on with herself as well. Was your daughter molested at one time? It's hard when it's both your children involved because you love all your children. I think your best bet is to talk to an attorney and tell him/her what's going on so you and your family can get help, especially proper help that your daughter needs. Definetly seek an attorney and let me know how it goes.
Sam: I think maybe you should follow your heart. I think if you want to get to know your dad then you should and see for yourself the type of person he is. I also think if your having suicidal thoughts and alot of anger inside you should get counseling as well. Alot of times when families have an ugly break up they tend to tear the other parent down by saying mean things that aren't always true and it's a shame that children have to be put in the middle of it. I honestly think if you want to know your dad and how he is you should but I would do it as a slow process. Don't go by what someone say's about someone go by your own feelings of a person and not what someone else thinks. Who knows maybe what she says is true but then again maybe it's not but you'll never know unless you take a chance to find out for sure.. I do ask that you be carefull though and maybe in public for visits is best to begin with.. You can always check with a counselor as well because there the one's that can give you the best advice on what to do..
gogigirl: I wanted to let you know that a lot of times medications can make you have unusual dreams, it's a side effect that happens. You can talk to your dad privately without anyone knowing and tell him what your dreaming and go from there. A person that has done something to someone when talked to about it especially a parent if guilty will become very defensive, so I feel if your dad sits and talks to you in a calm manner then maybe it's just the medication your taking.. I would ask your doctor first if the med your taking if strange dreams is a side effect first.
i grew up being told my father had abused me and my cousin,but im surrounded by people telling me my mom made it up i know she is a compulsive liar how do i contact my father and ask him if its true cos if its not even though i dont know him (im 24 last time i saw him i was about 5 oh and he was given access to me supervised with my aunt this too confuses me as i dont know of any mother that wud allow a man contact with a child hed abused my whole life has been ruined by this mess and shrowded with my suicidal temprament i hate life what have i done to deserve this i only have my mom and i know she is a very twisted woman who has also accused me of the worst things imaginable including telling me id abuse my son just before he was born i live in a blackhole how do u move on when you dont know what your moving on from and what if ive lost out on a good father all these years and if i find him and ask him how would i believe him ifhe said it wasnt true i passionately hate god for doing this to me also my cousin who was the one who said hed been touched is an out and out fantasist i can never win or find closure
Hello, I'm going for counseling starting Jan 10 2012. I started taking a med for a sleep disorder. Nuvigil. It stimulates a part of the brain for more waking hours during the day. I don't know if it's the med, but I had a very detailed disturbing dream about my dad. He used to make me sleep with him as a child. I can account for the "breaking of my seal" so I never considered being abused. Well, my mind is flooding with thoughts and memories that could be making sense of my 52 years of life. In the dream, he was using the area between my thighs for friction. What made it more disturbing is that in the dream I could see "it" and "it" was uncircumcised. My dad is uncircumcised. I've talked to only a couple of really close people including my husband, who has been amazing. I have a feeling that I will begin to heal from 52 years of self abuse, anorexia, self loathing and hatred, anger, OCD issues etc. Here is a couple of many problems. I have 3 sisters. One four years older and two, each a year apart, younger than I. Dad was an alcoholic. He is remarried now and this is not a part of his current life. One sister approached him 30 years ago about fondling. I was soo angry with her thinking she was being convinced it happened. I feel so bad now. Should I talk to my sisters? Why drudge it all up with my dad, who I have always had a good relationship with, (or so I thought) and possibly ruin his marriage. I'm certain he hasn't been drunk or alone with any children. I know if I was to say anything to him about any of this, it would crush him as I'm sure he doesn't even know and or remember. You'd have to know him to know this. Is it possible he has suppressed memories? Seriously, after all we've been through in 52 years of life, and now, just now all of a sudden this is all hitting me? I'm excited to heal and move forward......
I was recently informed that my 14year old daughter was amitted into a phsyc ward a month ago ( live in different states)because she was caught touching her younger brother and had been also caught doing the same thing 6-7 years ago. Now with younger brother being 8 years old the state she lives in are trying to press criminal charges on her. would this hold up in court and if so what could she be charged with and what would happeded to her? Would she be considered a sex offender?
I have an 11 year old son that I feel is being molested by his father my exhusband . He hates his father with apastion and I cant prove anything because when i ask him he just says i dont want to talk about it . please what do I do and how do i ask him ? i reasure him that it is ok to talk and nobody else is in the room so what do i do ?
I am a 19 years old and since i can remember i have had sexual dreams about my father and they get me aroused, could these be memories?
A child molester molested me when I was young and he took advantage noone was around the house when he attaked me sexually. He said it was revenge because my own father had raped her daughter. So when i was thinking i was a virgen and was going to enjoy with the men of my life the surprise was that i was not a virgen and then I got like a feeling of sadness and i never told my mom my grandfather touch me . with the time i was kind into other abusive relationship thinking all was love and it was normal if your knew your asailants .nasty but true!!
First of all, I commend all of you for being courageous enough to share your stories. Many of you are questioning whether certain behaviors are indicators of abuse. First and foremost, the loudest voice you should listen to is the one inside your head and heart. In many cases, people ignore their instincts only to later learn (unfortunately) that they were right. Children are generally very honest in their words and/or behaviors and it's important to follow up on details that they share with you. Verbally and non-verbally. For parents/guardians, if you feel that the alleged offender may present an unsafe environment, PLEASE seek assistance from a trusted friend or family member AND the authorities. Often times people are too embarrassed to reach out for help. Keep in mind that the long-term affect on you and/or your child is what matters most. And it is critical that you do all that you can in order to have a healthier, happier life later. YOU are your greatest asset so care for your emotional heart like the biggest diamond in the world. You are worthy and deserve it! Peace and blessings.
To ALL Who Have Been Molested: I believe now there is no statue of limitation on molestation, so if something happened to you say five years ago then yes you can still do something about it and take legal action. Contact your local police department and see what you can do. You don't need to be financially ok to do this you can just make a phone call and if it happened in a different state then conatct law enforcement in the state it happened in and see what they can do. Don't let these creeps get away with what they have done to you because if they hurt you they will hurt another child as well. Also I've been working on Locating the missing girl in Glendale Jhessye Shockley so I do appologize that it has taking me so long to respond.
Okay soo all I wanted to say is that I'm a 14 year old girl who is sexually harrassed by my much older couisn it started out when I was 12 he made me hold hands with him under the blanket while watching a movie when the movie got to a part with sex he put his hand on my inner thigh and squeezed till it bruised then he grab my had and put it to where it was sitting on his erection and forced me to rub it for him well a while after that we went to our beach house and he tried to until my bathing suit and when I was walking pass him to go out side with everyone else he pulled me down on him and started to push his erection into my ass and everytime I tried to get up he would grab my hips rather hard and dig his nails into me to the point I was bleeding and I had to stay there till he jizzed in his pants he is really good friends with my step dad so when I stayed the night at our house when we got back from our beach house well as I was changing he came into my room and bite my neck leaving a mark and he made me suck him off to the point where I was choking on his dick and he keep going and slapped me cause i didn't swallow well it cme back to our next beach trip which was this year and I'm fourteen now and then and he is 31 while we where there he would grab my boobs and pussy and bruise them and he would pull my hair so he can bite my neck and he is always graving my ass and tryin to make me kiss him I really wish I could tell but he just got married and his wife is having a baby and I don't want to ruin his friendship with my dad what should I do????!!!!:/ I really need adivce or help my email is c65971@yahoo.com
Okay soo all I wanted to say is that I'm a 14 year old girl who is sexually harrassed by my much older couisn it started out when I was 12 he made me hold hands with him under the blanket while watching a movie when the movie got to a part with sex he put his hand on my inner thigh and squeezed till it bruised then he grab my had and put it to where it was sitting on his erection and forced me to rub it for him well a while after that we went to our beach house and he tried to until my bathing suit and when I was walking pass him to go out side with everyone else he pulled me down on him and started to push his erection into my ass and everytime I tried to get up he would grab my hips rather hard and dig his nails into me to the point I was bleeding and I had to stay there till he jizzed in his pants he is really good friends with my step dad so when I stayed the night at our house when we got back from our beach house well as I was changing he came into my room and bite my neck leaving a mark and he made me suck him off to the point where I was choking on his dick and he keep going and slapped me cause i didn't swallow well it cme back to our next beach trip which was this year and I'm fourteen now and then and he is 31 while we where there he would grab my boobs and pussy and bruise them and he would pull my hair so he can bite my neck and he is always graving my ass and tryin to make me kiss him I really wish I could tell but he just got married and his wife is having a baby and I don't want to ruin his friendship with my dad what should I do?
I just found out that my husband molested my daughter 5 years ago - she is now 18 and has been living in a different state. She was afraid to tell me because he brainwashed her into thinking I wouldn't believe her. I had no idea this was going on - I am horrified and baffled at something that can go on multiple times and I never caught it. I believe his atrocities to my daughter can no longer go unpunished - and if I knew about it then, I certainly would've had him dealt with. What can I or my daughter do?? I hate that this has happened and want to help my daughter - I had things happen to me when I was young too, and I know how terrible it feels. I also need to get away from him because of this, but I'm 38, haven't worked in several years now, been trying to find work with no luck, I have no family or friends that I can stay with, no vehicle, no money, but I don't want to be stuck to someone this filthy and disgusting no longer - I wish I would've known about things back then because at that time we were living in my home state and could get help and resources.
I just found out that my husband molested my daughter 5 years ago - she is now 18 and has been living in a different state. She was afraid to tell me because he brainwashed her into thinking I wouldn't believe her. I had no idea this was going on - I am horrified and baffled at something that can go on multiple times and I never caught it. I believe his atrocities to my daughter can no longer go unpunished - and if I knew about it then, I certainly would've had him dealt with. What can I or my daughter do?? I hate that this has happened and want to help my daughter - I had things happen to me when I was young too, and I know how terrible it feels. I also need to get away from him because of this, but I'm 38, haven't worked in several years now, been trying to find work with no luck, I have no family or friends that I can stay with, no vehicle, no money, but I don't want to be stuck to someone this filthy and disgusting no longer - I wish I would've known about things back then because at that time we were living in my home state and could get help and resources.
Men, watch out for your wife or GF asking or insisting on you bathing little children, especially girls, and especially unattended by her.
Also don't fall for using those diaper changing shelves in public restrooms. Someone may report you for molesting for wiping shit off the child's bottom. Do the diaper changing somewhere truly private. Only women can take children, especially boys, into public restrooms. Men can take older boys who don't wear diapers into public restrooms. NEVER take girls of any age into a men's restroom.
The sexual "revolution" has made people hyper about molesters, privacy, etc.
my 3yr old daughter started seeing her father around 6months ago at first she loved going there but the past month has been a nightmare she cry's and crys when i tell her she is going to see him she tells me she doesn't want to sleep in her blue bed (which is her bed at her dads house)she wake's up every morning saying mummy i dont wont to go to my dads house, she is only half toilet trained she will still wear a nappy at bedtime but during the day she take's her undie's off and she always has her hand down there, once i asked her why she keeps itching and she said im not im tickling! should i get help? what help is available?
hello, i have a two yr old daughter almost three, since last feb she has complained about her bio moms new boyfriend, she told us he touches her pee pee and her but. she started to have night mares. we caught her playing with her self with tampon strings ... i also caught her trying to make my son touch her private areas. she started complaining about monsters or alligators and didnt want to go to sleep she still does not want to go to sleep ever. she can stay up till like 2 or 3 in the morning trying to fight her sleep... we have reported it but they dont believe a two yr old can make these alligations. she has even said the mans name. now she is almost three adn says more then she ever has. she now tells what he uses, she puts her pointer finger up and says pointer finger goes in me. while saying he hurts my butt and pee. she has also told us that she wants to suck on this mans dong. we have never used this word dong for a mans penis we use the word we we for our son. also recently she has told us that she wants a wee wee, we asked her why she wants a wee wee and she responded with "i want to put it in brents butt* the judge told us to be careful about making alligations because if nothing is really going on we can get in trouble and even sued. i need help, i need to know what to do. oh and she also just told us this weekend she is afraid of dying, over and over again we asked her why and who told her that she was going to die and guess who she said it was, its was BRENT!!! it makes me feel useless that we cant do anything, and it sucks i was molested by my grandfather for yrs and i hate seeing her go through this it breaks my heart and im afraid for her, in my teen years i was not taking what happen to me very well. and i dont want her to feel like that. if anyone has any suggestions please let me know you can even email me on joenfell@gmail.com thank you... and we think her bio mom knows and is in deniel or apart of it or she may even be abused by this man.
my sister just told my mom and i that our uncle,my moms brother,molested her when she was 15,shes 20 now,can we still take legal action?if so how? we feel so lost...
I am a 28 yrs old male.When I was 16, an old man touched my penis.I was very upset,and still whenever I remember the incident I am afraid.help me.
I'm so crushed.....!!! someone plz help me?
So about 2weeks ago i was on my laptop and decided to download RealPlayer.
It then asked me if i would like my media to import into realplayer. i clicked yes .
i then went to the videos and found out that someone had downloaded alot of Porn.
I didnt really know who to blame since i let alot of people use my computer. i know it couldnt of been a virus because i have norton. i asked everybody and of course everybody denied it. i began deleting the videos and then i noticed the tittle of one of the videos it was titled "8YO ..etc"
CHILD PORNOGRAPHY!!! i was so crushed when i saw that because our family has gone through alot of molestation and its just messed up how after everything, somebody would still look this piece of crap?? i wanted to find out who. Luckily i love taking pictures and i noticed the day it was downloaded, i went to my pics and figured out what day that was. my brother had the computer all day that day. i cant really blame my brother because my brother brings alot of friends over. my mind is just everywhere and i dont know what to think and im very crushed because i myself was molested and seeing sick **** like this gets me so angry. im really worried because i have a niece thats 4 and a nephew thats 2. i dont even know who to trust anymore. i love those kids as if they were my own . ugh. someone please help me. oh and its not like i could ask my bro if he did it bc obviously he's gonna deny it and its just gonna spark drama.
Hi. I am in need of direction or advice. Is it possible for another child to molest another? What are the signs? I do not have children, but my siblings do. There were recent accusations that 1 of my nephews was molesting the other. Their ages are 3yrs & 5yrs. When asked, the 3yr old indicates that the 5yr old touched him, the 5yr old indicates that the 3yr old told him to! They are cousins. At these ages is it possible for a child to understand what molestation is???? What is the best way to handle this? Each child needs tending to, I just don't know what to do. Please please if there is anything that you can do to shed light.
Over 3 million children are reported abused in the U.S. and of those 3 million abused children I am one of them. I may have not been raped or sexually assaulted by anyone but I do know that ever since that person came into my life and ever since I saw those eyes in the darkness I was never myself, and became something else.
My life was never easy, but it wasn’t impossible like it is now. I remember asking myself since I was a kid why I didn’t have a dad and every other kid had one, now I thank God I don’t have one with me. Ever since I was a small child I remember dreaming of a brighter future that now seems looks to dark, and all I see are those desiring eyes in the darkness scaring me, and holding me back from what I could be.
I remember living in peace, where all I had to worry about was “what am I going to eat next?” or “omg, what if grandma catches me?!” than it became, “what am I going to use to block my door?” and “how stupid is he, who thinks I can’t see him?!”
I remember living in the overflow of love and protection of my mother, grandmother, and grandfather thinking life was meant to be that way. But then it all became fear and the need to cry, the need to say and the need to scream! I can’t see people the same way now not anymore; I think everyone is the same. I can’t trust anyone, I can’t believe anyone.
It all started the day I was alone with him, and he told me to go to bed with him because it was too cold. Me being an 11 year old thought there was nothing wrong and did so and fell asleep instantly , the very last time I went to sleep profoundly, thinking I was safe, that night; I felt his hands on me, places I never wanted to be touched I got up and left. It wasn’t the only time he did that, after that there were many occasions in which I saw him laying on my floor and just speculating me, it also wasn’t the only time that he touched me. I cannot believe I never said anything despite all the discussions me and him had during the day. I had a terrible disliking to him, I hated being near him, I hated the fact that he looked at me but I always thought of my mom and new siblings, I love them with all my heart and I could not stand the fact to take away their family. So I thought for years I was the flaw I was the only imperfect thing in this world there was no need for me that is when I started having suicide thoughts, I used to imagine what the world would be like if I wasn’t here, I used to think that it would be better to be dead then to have to live through that every day. I dreaded the fact that I needed to act as if nothing was happening, each and every single damn day. Then God sent me a lesson, and my uncle committed suicide, I hated myself even more because I felt as though he did what I did not have the courage to do, it was either I kill myself first and he realizes things or the other way around, well God gave me life. I made mistakes many… I hated my life so I thought nothing matters, I got heartbroken by who I thought I loved. I lost my most precious thing to a boy who doesn’t even remember my name, from getting high too much. If it was not worse this bastard told me he was falling in love with me! And thus brought down my whole world, how could I not know how did I not realize that this man treated me like you treat a girlfriend how did I not!! A week before my 15th birthday I wanted to die! I always wanted to be 15 it was every Latin girls dream to have a quinceanera, I knew that even if I didn’t have a quinceanera I would never be happy with that creepy man in my life!! I was going to die! Or I was going to kill myself! Life could not get any worse, not only was that bastard hurting me emotionally and in MANY other ways, but now he was messing with my weak spot my MOM I love my mom more than anything she has given me everything and this stupid man was hurting her! Both physically and emotionally I could not take it any longer. I spoke I told my favorite teacher who advised me to speak with the counselor, she took action and filed a CPS case apparently it was more serious than I thought… CPS did nothing to this day, all I have gotten is an interview and no results I still live in fear and now its worse the man is mad he has left the house but he still aggravates my mom, and to him its as though its all gone as if his mistake will go unpunished and I am afraid he might be right I have gotten no help whatsoever I have had suicide thoughts recently too, I feel more alone than ever even after I have spoken no one believes me or supports me my whole family turned their back on me except my family in Mexico , but they can’t do much to help me here :’( my mom is strong but she doesn’t know what I feel everyday NO ONE KNOWS!! And its killing me,, im beginning to think there’s nothing left to live for… HELP!!
-Email me Baby_gurl-luvzu@hotmail.com for advice or support Im truly lost!
I was abused sexually by my brother as a child, and it haunts me every day but no one else cares. I have recently found my dad who seems to be more interested in his grandson and his son that abused me. Can i still prove this.
Hi,
I wrote in two months ago saying I was a little worried about my boyfriend with my baby boy. Your words were helpful, so thank you. You asked me if I have ever been molested and I honestly can't answer that... I have heard of women having blocked the memory of abuse, so powerfully that they don't know. And I often wonder if that is the case with me. This feels awful to talk about, but I know my older sisters forced me to do things that were sexual though I can't remember one of them told me about it as an adult, and apologized(which was extremely uncomfortable) so I guess I do know that I was molested it just doesn't seem real because it was my sister, who I am close to now.. weird.. but we both have a feeling there is something more... I always feel like there is something with my father , but I don't know if that is real or if I have just created it, based off of movies or things I have read about it. I have severe trust issues with my boyfriend, and everytime I leave him alone with my 18 month old, i get home and have a graphic nightmare of what could've happened while I was away. It is so negative and just like self torture to think about. I really just want truth and happiness, as I"m sure we all do.. ..
I have a few memories of feelings that weren't directly child abuse , but I remember the fear of it . Not wanting to go alone with my father anywhere, always afraid of him, of somehow knowing what a penis felt liek in grade 6. My mom and sisters left for a weekend when I was 11 or 12 I remember, and we had a small noisy dog, the dog kept trying to sleep in my room ( in my mind to protect me) and my father kept kicking him out of my room , which normally wouldn't have been a problem , in the end I heard him hurt the dog, and he yelped and was locked out in the cold for the rest of the night... I remember one night as 20 or so year old spending the night at my parents house and waking up to my dad giving me a good night kiss, on the lips, he has rarely even hugged me in awake hours so I thought maybe he was being secretly loving and fatherly.. but also it creeped me out hugely. I developed an eating disorder at 12 that lasted for 10 years, graduated high school, out of a seemingly christian very church oriented family, and became a stripper... Which completely doesnt match with the person I feel I am. now I am a mother. I feel lost right now, how to protect my son?? Are there past issues that are making me irrationslly paranoid? How do I deal with this so I can be the best person and mother I can be? I don't know... I appreciate your response so much .
THank you
So my husband and I married in April of this year and I'm scared I may have married a pedophile :(. I have a son (4 yrs old) from a previous relationship, he has a 5 yr old daughter from a previous relationship, and we now have a 2 month old baby girl together. As it is I have trust issues with almost every male being that I was molested as a child. But what's been freaking me out is my step daughters behavior. Since I met the girl she has been doing very unsettling things and her father would just brush everything off. The little girl would wake up and sit on her dads face while he was sleeping.. He mentioned to me once that as he buckled her in her carseat she told him "that feels good daddy".. Another time she grabbed his hand and tried to get him to rub her private.. She humped him. She would show my son her crotch and tell him it's a secret. My son would tell me right away and she got mad and told me I wasn't supposed to know. Now the reasons I suspect that it could be my husband is because when ever she is acting out sexually he will just say "don't do that" but he wont ask her why she did that or where she saw that. Also, he would shower with her naked.. I told him I didn't think it was okay for a father to shower nude with his 4 yr old daughter. When she would wake him by sitting and bouncing on his face he would laugh and when I told him it bothered me he said "shes just a kid playing, it's not like she's trying to get off". She complains constantly that her "coochie" hurts and often times she's lying just cause she wants to show us. Or she will sit in front of the mirror looking at it. I don't know what to think or do. I've talked to my husband about all of this and he denies ever touching her in any sexual manor. I am terrified of who I could be sleeping next to at night. And also I know that he was molested as a preteen by a man and know that some victims repeat the cycle.. Please help!
Emily333= It could be or not. Where you told when you were younger about strangers and what could happen if you ever got kidknapped? Maybe that's where it's coming from. I know sometimes children dream things and it makes you wonder but if you don't remeber being touched when you were younger than I wouldn't worry to much about it it could be a dream that really scared you and at night the dream you had was on your mind causing you to dream it over and over again. I had this happen to me a few times the same dream over and over. Don't let it get to you I think it was just a bad nightmare that really scared you.
Mima; I would definetly mention it to whoever watches/takes care of her about her bleeding and sore down there. It sounds like to me she needs medical attention to see what's going on and if they don't get her the medical atention she needs I'd call CPS especially if the child is losing weight, sounds like possible neglect and molestation.. You might want to consider having cps check into it or contact the school she goes to and tell them your concerns and let them do it.
Clueless: I think honestly you should talk to your mom. Maybe what is going on is heredity maybe your mom has the same thing or maybe a birth defect. I don't think you should be afraid to talk to her she is female and you mom and maybe you have something going on that is a medical issue. I'm not saying that that's the case but you never know. Comfy in your mom, that's what moms are for and she can probably give you the answer your looking for...
concerned friend: I'd definetly talk to her about it and suggest that's why you think her son is having behavioral probleme's and tell her as a friend that she needs to report it to authorities and see what she say's. If she does nothing about it then I would call cps and let them get involved and investigate it, now she migth know it's you that turned it in but if she is a true friend then she will understand and that your looking out for her son.. Talk to her andsee what she say's and does and let her know what your friendship means to you and that your care about her and he son and let her know you will be there for her through it if she goes to authorities... I honestly think she is scared..
HAZEL: Sometimes females are born with there genitals a little open and they stay that way through out there life. Maybe because she is getting older and she can put up a tiff on diaper changes where when she was younger she couldn't. She probably really doesn't like the fact of going from being warm to a cold wipe touching her. I'd try to see if wetting the wipes with warm water makes it a little easier and see how she reacts to that. It cold be just that there really cold..
Questioning: I would just let your brother know that now your older that the tickling thing is so not cool. If he never tried anything sexually then maybe he is just a brother that really loves his sisters and if he ask you to rub his head joke and tell him get a girlfriend or if he has a girlfriend tell him that's your girlfriends job. I don't think he means any harm but just let hin know that your not comfortable with certain things and see what he say's. He may get a little hurt at first but he is your brother and he will get over it.. let me know how it goes.
Advice please= I have to say first off there's nothing as a happy family when a man is molesting children/family memebers. I think that you and your cousin should go to authorities because he had no right to violate you and if he has done it to you then he will probably do it to his children. You two going to the police will be saving the others from going through what you went through and ya him and his wife will seperate and she will be sad but remember the other lifes that you'll be saving from going through this nightmare. I would most definetly turn him in. He did the crime and he should serve the time and don't feel bad for turning him in he knows better and there are consequences for the actions he has done... Let me know how it goes. I'm sorry you went through this.
Alone and afraid: Please when you see your counselor again tell him the truth of what happened to you. I know you may be scared but by not saying anything will tear you up in the future years to come and your uncle will continue hurting all of you. He had no right to hurt any of you, your mom is your mom and regardless she is going to love you no matter what... Please he commited a crime and by telling your counselor the truth he can make sure that your uncle serves time for what he has done to all of you,and don't you be afraid if your uncle gets into trouble because he needs to because what he did is wrong... Please tell your counselor what has happened to you even if your counselor doesn't bring it up you need to say I have something I need to tell you and tell him what your uncle has done to you and the others even if your mom is present tell him.. Your mom loves you and you need to remeber that ok... Let me know how it goes...
Anonymous: Don't let this creep ruin your life more thanhe already has. I know the pain your feeling and the anger inside and it has caused you to make mistakes by commiting crimes but you can turn your life around. I would tell his family what he has doe to you, I would make it known and I would also go to authorities and see about pressing charges against him and tell them this is why your commiting crimes. Anonymous you went and made the first step and that's coming on here and telling people what happened to you, you can turn your life around and become an advocate for children in schools and tell what happened to you and let them know not to be afraid to tell someone, so many kids are being molested everyday. You are such a strong person and your very brave. Don't let this jerk bring you down anymore your better than that. Anonymous he isn't worth it but you are. Turn his butt in and get counseling to help with the anger and pain and help other children that need individuals like us. I've been on here for almost 2 in a half years helping others like you and me, I don't make money on here for doing this but to help others is payment enough, it's priceless.. Please listen to me and keep in touch with me and let me know how your doing.
Insaneteen girl= I don't think there's a statue of limitations on child molestation, I would check because it depends on what state your living in but this happened only three years ago so whoever is telling you, you can't press charges because she is 21 is full of crap. You can also go to law enforcement and ask them what the statue of limitations are on child molestation and tell them an incident happened three years ago and now she is 21 but the person that did the molestation is admitting to it. I would start there and see what they say... Hope this helps...
what do I do: I would definetly get counseling to help you because if your having thoughts of children that's not a good thing and you don't want to hurt a child like you've been hurt and cause them the pain your feeling. I also think you should mention this to your mom about what your dad has done to you, and I would take legal action against him justice legally needs to be served for what he has done to you. Please get into counseling and get some help, I know the pain your feeling and I can't say that it will ever go away because the memory will always be there but counseling can help you through it.. Hang in there and also notify the authorities on what your dad has done to you because he is wrong and had no right to hurt you.. I'm so sorry please let me know how your doing and get some help so you can start healing.
15/16 I think you need to tell your mom what your grandfather is saying to you. Your not stuoid and I would be scared to. I hate to say this but he is talking about having sexual relations with you and that's very inaapropriate. A grandfather doesn't say those things to a granddaughter. Please sit down and talk to your mom, I know it will be hard and your scared but you really need to let her know so your safe.. Please tell her and let me know how it goes. I'm so sorry he is doing this to you. He is wrong..
I am currently 13 about to be 14 .I was only 8 years old when it happened. My uncle was 13 ... my cousins were playing video games in the room. And my uncle asked me to go under the blanket with him. My cousins told me "don't do it " ..I was so stupid , he made me touch him and he touched me ... .. .. .. I didn't know it was true until my sister told me that he tried to touch her. I knew that I didn't just imagine it .. I feel so disgusting with myself and feel like its all my fault ... .. .. .. I told my mom... but I never thought she believed me until recently my therapist asked me about being molested. ... I dented it but I know it happened. He took my innocence away ... and ever since I was 10 I would have sexual thoughts .... ..
I am currently 13 about to be 14 .I was only 8 years old when it happened. My uncle was 13 ... my cousins were playing video games in the room. And my uncle asked me to go under the blanket with him. My cousins told me "don't do it " ..I was so stupid , he made me touch him and he touched me ... .. .. .. I didn't know it was true until my sister told me that he tried to touch her. I knew that I didn't just imagine it .. I feel so disgusting with myself and feel like its all my fault ... .. .. .. I told my mom... but I never thought she believed me until recently my therapist asked me about being molested. ... I dented it but I know it happened. He took my innocence away ... and ever since I was 10 I would have sexual thoughts .... ..
I am currently 13 about to be 14 .I was only 8 years old when it happened. My uncle was 13 ... my cousins were playing video games in the room. And my uncle asked me to go under the blanket with him. My cousins told me "don't do it " ..I was so stupid , he made me touch him and he touched me ... .. .. .. I didn't know it was true until my sister told me that he tried to touch her. I knew that I didn't just imagine it .. I feel so disgusting with myself and feel like its all my fault ... .. .. .. I told my mom... but I never thought she believed me until recently my therapist asked me about being molested. ... I dented it but I know it happened. He took my innocence away ... and ever since I was 10 I would have sexual thoughts .... ..
This may get confusing but please bear with me, I need some advice regarding a dear friend of mine and her almost 10 year old.
My sister is the one who has been involved with this and talked to our good friend and her son about this also. I'm just concerned because nothing was ever done and by knowing I feel as if I'm failing the 9 year old, who I do love dearly.
My dear friends young daughter confided in my sister, her 'Aunty', that the 9y/o boy, her brother, had touched her. She said he said it makes your privates puffy. Well I encouraged my sister to bring this up to our dear friend, which she did and nothing ever happened.
My sister was on a day out with the boy and questioned him subtly about the people in his life and nothing really came up. He did go through a period I remember where he cried a lot about visiting his drug addict dad. He also was wetting the bed, as I later found out. Well our dear friend had a falling out with another friend of ours and my sister was told by that friend that the boy did indeed say he was touched or uncomfortable with his dad.
My dear friend is a single mom, both kids have different dads, and she doesn't have a lot of support, I just recently moved almost 2 hours away and I feel if I bring this up to her (as its been weighing heavy on my heart) that she won't do anything and I can't do much else.
This all happened about a couple years ago and I learned about it all earlier this year, when my sister was told by the young daughter about the touching.
What should I do? I believe it's hurting this boys life as he's been having a lot of behavioral problems this past year. I can't get it out of my head and I need advice??
I know my story is hard to follow, but I just want to know what to do.. I can't let this go any longer.
I have a two year old and I have wondered about the appearance of her genitals. Seems a bit open. I think she has always been that way from birth. She seems to not care for diaper changes much. I am suspicious but have no clue because since 8 mos. ago we are alone now. Can a doctor tell?
Hi.. my mother babysits a little girl and this little girl is 8years old. 11/7/11 she complained that her parts was hurting her and when she pees its stings and she bleed when she used the bathroom in school. I am scared that something might be going on in her family home. My mother and i treat her as one of our own and we have been realizing that she is sad, paler, and losing weight. But we dont want to jump into conclusion that her household member can be doing something to her. PLEASE HELP.. I WANNA KNOW F THIS IS A SIGN OF RAPE OR JUST A MINOR INFECTION...
I am a 24 year old female. When I was a child I use to have nightmares of someone kidnapping me and putting me in a machine that caused injuries and pain to my genitals. I would wake up crying. This dream would occur again and again for some time, to the point where I was scared to go to sleep. I have no recollection of being sexually abused as a child, but why would I have these nightmares all the time as a child..is it a repressed memory?
I'm 19 and ever since I can remember I've had a fear of men. I also realised I don't look normal "down there". as a young child I was very violent towards my peers. I am too afraid to ask my parents' for advice or the advice of my psychiatrist, as he is a family friend. I have asked some of my close friends for advice, but they can't give me a solid answer. need help.
Hi
I'm a 19 year old female. ever since I can remember I've had a fear of men, but I don't know why.
In grade 4 I had a sleepover at my friend's house and we bathed together. I realised for the first time I didn't look normal "down there", but I thought maybe everyone looks different, but I doubted that theory. A few months later I bathed with another of my friends and she mocked the way I look "down there". so I realised I really did not look normal. I am too scared to ask my parents' advice or the advice of my psychiatrist as he's a family friend, but I have asked some of my close friends for their opinions, but nobody could give me a solid answer, so I've come to this site looking for help.
OK so I'm 15,nearly 16 and for about a year my granddad has been saying inappropriate things to me like "we could have some secrets" "would you tell on me" "your're my favorite grandchild." "If i was 17 again." "you must be popular with the boys" and "we could have some secrets just between the two of us, a special thing that only we know about" Needless to say i'm freeked out. he kisses me on the lips even though about a year ago i told my mum i didn't like it. he never kisses my sister on the lips and says "he's all the better for seeing me and not to be scared of him!!!" the last bit scares me why would i be scared of him. look maybe I'm blowing this out of proportion i mean he hasn't actually done anything right? i mean he's my granddad. why am i getting so scared please tell me what i can do to stop being so stupid. he's my granddad he can't do anything. god please tell me what to do!!!!!!!!
When I was younger I can remember messing around with my cousin in my grandparents basement. This went on for quite some time, it started when we were about 4 and didn't end until we were probably 13 or so. She was always the one to start it and i understand now why. The way her father touched her, even in front of the entire family was sketchy.
I remember everyone in the room would exchange looks while he rubbed her inner thigh or would slap her butt. I'm almost 100% sure he used to touch her, she knew too much about sex. She used to put my fingers inside of her and also pencil crayons, pens and other objects. Eventually she showed me how to have sex...I have still never told anyone about this.
When I was 14 my mother told me that when I was just a baby she walked in on my babysitter (a male) with his mouth over my private parts. She told me she freaked out and started chasing him and pushed him down the stairs. They just got home from bowling with friends and the babysitters sister was there.
She begged my mother not to tell anyone because her older brother would kill him for doing this. I also found out that he babysat most of the kids around this area within 4-5 years age difference of me. Also his brothers daughter, and I imagine he did the same thing to them. If my mother would have told someone this could have prevented many more incidents, which also went unreported.
She also told me that my older cousin (a male) who is about 5 years older than me did things to me when I was 2. After finding all of this out I started feeling angry, sick, and tired. I turned to alcohol and drugs, acted out against any authority and started to fight a lot. I committed many crimes including breaking and entering, assault and drug sales.
To this day when I see the babysitter I want to kill him, I want to walk up to him and slit his throat. I want to tell his family, I want to tell everyone what he did but it was over 25 years ago. Please don't leave your children with people you don't trust, if you have a gut feeling go with it. If you see a family member acting inappropriately confront them, dont let this happen to your children.
They could end up like me.
hi
i am 21 male and i have been abused since i can remember from about the age of four my father would have me undressed running about his flat and would often touch me in inappropriate places as i grew up the abuse got worse and he then started to rape me i would see him every other weekend i was scared and didnt know what to do as i grew up i have had thoughts about my sexuality and sexual views on others younger than me he has poisoned my mind what should i do if i have acted on those feelings i don't want to be labelled as a paedophile as its just not me im suffering everyday i have depression and i don't know where to turn i thought i didn't need counselling how can i safeguard my future and my life as i dont want to be following the footsteps of my father and end up in prison
I need help. My sister was molested by our own aunt.. And that happened when she was 15 and now she is currently 21. Our aunt has been living here in our house for almost 7 years and she hasn't told my mom anything about it until my older sister confessed to my mom of what she did to her..I want her arrested but people are saying it is to late to do it because she is already over 18. But you see, my aunt has confessed she has done something to her but she still doesn't want to leave. What do I do?..I wrote her a note telling her she needs to get out but won't. Can I tell it to the police? How do I seek for help? Where Do I stat of?..
i have a 2 year old girl and i noticed she hits herself in the head and shes got a bad temper now and 2 weeks ago she cryed for her mother more then normal i only get her every second weekend and i no nothings happening in my home cuzz shes always with me when shes here but at her mothers on the other hand shes always leveing her with people half the time i dont no im realy scared about this my little girl is my everything
questioning: I wouldn't say it was a repressed memory but maybe just curiosity as a young child. I wouldn't let it bother you because some children go through this. I hope this helps you. Thanks for your comment. :)
Also, if I was touched..I think it would have been by my oldest brother, who is 10 years older than me. I remember he would lay on my legs and tell me I was his teddy bear, or he would lay on my legs and make me either massage his head or back. I've always felt weird around him, and my 14 year old sister feels the exact same way. He's very awkward, he makes me feel awkward when I'm around him. I try to avoid him, but then I feel bad for avoiding him since he's my own brother. He's a really nice guy. He would tickle my sister and I a lot when we were younger and I assumed that was normal, but he still tickled us when we were starting to hit puberty and it became really weird..I would hate to be left alone with him...but I feel so guilty for feeling this way with him. He's just a weird guy.
Another memory I just remembered...me and my sister were taking a bath together and we were left alone. We were young enough to still bathe together yet old enough to be left alone. I remember laying on my back and she would slide up my body and we would pretend we were about to make out, but then we'd start laughing and back off. Yet we did this a few more times, but that day was the only time we did that. I do not know where we got that from either. That was the only close enough sexual experience with my sister. It was innocent, and we did not touch each other down there, just slid our body up, laugh, then back off, repeat like a minute later. (not humping if that makes sense)My sister and I have a great relationship, we are best friends. Is it possible we both could have been molested...by my brother? Or am I just imaging stuff. I only remember him making us his "teddy bear" and making us massage him on head head or back. He would often make us do it on a bed, but it wasn't like he lead us into the room and made it secret...because often times my two other brothers would walk in and it was nothing. Am I just paranoid?...
Hello, I'm a 17 year old female and am wondering if maybe something happened to me as a little kid. I had a very happy childhood even though my father was a drunk and I can remember a lot of fights between my parents. The reason I'm questioning is because when I was young, 7 and under, I had a micky mouse blanky that I carried with me everywhere. I remember fantasizing about sex. I wasn't sure what it was exactly, but I knew it felt good. I remember one time laying in bed, wrapping my blanky between my legs and humping it and imagining I was having sex with it? I had no idea where I got the idea of humping from...because I don't recall any sexual memories at that age. The only close enough sexual memory I have, is hearing my parents having sex and moaning at night because me and my sister's room were right by their room. But other than that, I only assumed sex was getting naked under the blankets with another person and wrapping legs around each other...I remember being interested in sex at such a young age but I don't know why. Could I be repressing a memory, is is this normal for some kids? Like I said, I've had a very happy childhood. Help?
I recently disclosed to a family member that another family member had molested me for years. When I became an adult, he asked if we could have sex. He has daughters, and I can't get over the fear that he might be molesting them. My other family member believes we should take action. But I'm confused. Because he molested me (a cousin) should I be worried that he is molesting his daughters? I don't want to destroy a happy family. But I don't want those girls in jeopardy. How should I handle this?
scaredmommy: It's really hard to say what can be causing your daughter to do thid. You may want to sit down and talk to her and ask her why she is so scared and go from there. I hope this helps.
i just have a question.. my 4 kids was staying with who i thought was my best friend while my mother was in the hospital.My oldest daughter is 6 and has always been very independent. She would always take her bath by herself and put her self to bed...when i went to get her from my friends house she wanted me to hold her..that whole day and since then she wants me to hold her...if i get up to make dinner i have to carry her..she will not take a bath unless im in there with her and she has to sleep with me now..she never used to wet the bed and now she has every night...the other day i came upstairs to the bedrooms and she was downstairs and she started screaming and crying saying she needed me...i had to pick her up and tell her i was right her...someone please help me! my daughter has never been this way and im so scared...Does anyone know what could have caused my daughter this set back?
How do you deal with the fact that the authorities won't keep a sperm donor away when he keeps attempting to rape his son? I know someone who can't keep her ex away even though he keeps trying to rape her child. Sometimes you just hope for certain people to fall off a bridge because that's the only way these kids will be safe.
jsmom: I would definetly do something about it. Being it's a different state you might want to contact an attorney to see how to handle it I think you might have to file charges with the police in the state that it happened in. Seek an attorney to find out for sure.
terrifiedmother: If your three year old is saying who it was then more than likely that's who did it. She was probably panicking because you were questioning her and he probably threatened her in some way if she said anything. Not to sound mean but I think it sounds like your in a little bit of denail that it's a boyfriend of yours for three years. Alot can happen in just a few minutes so if it was me I would keep my child away from him for her safety.
sadconfusedgirl: I first want to say I believe you and your step dad is a creep. I'm sorry your mom doesn't believe you and I know how much that hurts you inside. I want you to know it's not your fault and I hope you told the person that gave him the meds how much of a jerk he/she is and how it has devastated your life. I would confront your step dad again and tell him what you think and how much of a jerk he is then after that I'd stay away from him and if you ever have children keep them away from him as well. Don't let him ruin your life and if you can get into counseling to help you. I hope I helped you and I'm sorry.
Manuela: Also if you use my article my copyright needs to be on there and also you need to link your article to mine here on hub pages. Your article need to say written by glstngrosepetals....
pappa reg: I don't want to say she is lying because you really don't know for sure and things like this do happen without parents even knowing.Also if your a child and you've been molested if your scared you might get into trouble your not going to come right out and say that someone has done something to you. I'm sorry that it has torn your family apart but I feel as a family you all can get through this with counseling that's if your all willing to. Your children are adults now and if there not willing then there's really not much you can do and if your daughter wants to use it as a guilt trip against you you can at least say you tried by counseling. Don't let it tear you and your wife apart, try to get through this as a family. I hope this helps.
Manuela: I don't mind you using my article to help other's to be aware of the signs but I do ask though if you do use my article to please not profit from it.My article on here doesn't make me money because I have no google ads on here do to the nature of my article and also I want to help victims and not profit off of what has happened to them. I also ask that you please respect my comments on here from people that have gone through molestation and that you keep the comments written to me out of your article do to the fact I respect there privacy and there trust in me.... Thankyou
anxiety has a hold: I'm so sorry for your pain.You need to stop beating yourself up for what happened, it's not your fault and when you noticed something happened you did something about it. I think you should get some counseling to help you cope through your pain.My heart goes out to you and your daughter.
Hello,
My name is Manuela and I am lawyer in Romania (Eastern Europe). ?I don't know for sure if I am a victim of such type of abuse, but I am extreme sensitive to all cases that involves children and sexual activities.
I feel that I have to do more then research, and that's why I am thinking in opening a similar web page in order to inform and help people that confronts with this situations. That's being said, can I take your article and translate it, in order to make people aware of the signs that should "talk" about the danger our children face it, but they are not able to spell it? I also want to translate some of the stories written over here, because I believe that in that way people will find out that they are not the only one who struggles with horrifying acts.
Even if you will not give the permission, let me tell you that I appreciate the fact that are a survivor in the true meaning of the word.
p.s. Excuse me for my "English". I hope you understood what I want.
My three year old has showed some signs of listed here. Today she made a comment about how boys pee out of "long things" and when asked how she knew that, she said that my boyfriend of three years showed her. After questioning her for hours, she has began freaking out and screaming that she didn't want to talk about it and panicking. He doesn't live with us and he has only been alone with her one time during the day for about 45 minutes. I could never in a million years see him doing thing. Could it be someone else and she is blaming him?
my four year old just told me that his brother (dads son) put his wee wee on his butt... I know that im going to talk with officials in the morning. My question is how does the system work when the victim is 4 the molester his brother is 17 and the act took place in Arkansas over a 4 month period while the 4 yr old visited his dad. We live in Texas and his bother and dad relocated to Ohio?
I have had alot of this happen to me as well. My stepdad molested me from as early as i can remember about 6-7 years old. I was so scared he always struck the fear of my mother hating me if i said anything. I was abused in many ways mentally, fisically and emotionally but the worst was the sexual abuse. He waited until everyone in the house was asleep, and even when i got a little older and took anitiative and rigged up a lock for my door he found a way to break it. He didnt rape me but he always rubbed his private area on me and told me it was becuase if i told i would have no proof, he did these things to me for years and i never had the courage to tell my mother as i loved her with all my heart even though she didnt care much for me, i couldnt hurt her. These things happened until i was 13 years old, when i stayed at a friends house i told her in hopes of having someone tell me its not my fault and i wasnt doing anything wrong and she helped me get the courage to stand up and tell my mom and at first she believed me and we took my other siblings and left while my stepdad was at work, we went to my grandmothers house and she stayed there with me for a little over a week and noticed i was extremely happy and instead of the truth being i was happy to be able to fall asleep at night and not be touched, she just said that i made it up so i could have fun. She tore my heart out in that instant as she went right back to that man and left me felling as though id rather get struck by lightning or anyway to strike me dead where i stood, i never felt so hurt. Then came the courtroom time, being only 13 and having very little people skills i was terrified and they asked to many questions and tried to have me recall every small detail but how can they expect a scared little girl to tell every last detail i just wanted justice. Why would a person lie about such a thing. Then he had to take a lie detector test in which he passed and that ended it all i had to go back and live with him once agian, i was dredding that day scared to be in the same house with him after i told on him. He tried a couple more times after i came back to live with them ut only these times were different as he tried to actually rape me this time i pushed him away and told him to stop. He got really mad at me and told my mom i was bad mouthing him so i got beat and grownded for months. Skipping ahead 8 years later i was 21 and i was visiting a couple of friends and the one made a mistake of saying he sold pills to my stepdad the day of his lie detector test, and looking up the pills realized he used them to calm his nerves so he could pass, this tears me up inside i thought i was ok but im not the past couple of years have been dreadful worse than ever, im wondering if its beacuase my mother sleeps next to a child molester, called me a liar and i never got justice. This is my first time coming to public sense my courtdate 9 years ago, please tell me what you think, anything would help.
Eight days before my daughter's 2nd birthday I had left her with her Godfather to go get her breakfast. I returned and he shortly went off to work. 30 minutes or so I go to change her diaper and her outter part of her vagina was wide open and blood red with what appeared to be a zipper mark on the left.. she looks at me and starts crying and says hurts!!! I hate myself for not seeing what was right in front of me while she was trying to tell me.. I am beating myself up over the fact that it took me two weeks of finally getting a clue and taking her to the local hospital. Then another week to make a formal evaluation at a hospital for children. Even though I had a delayed reaction and got CPS involved too late for the visible proof of abuse, I feel guilty for not taking my daughter that day.. Oh Lord, please forgive me as I do have a delayed reaction on most things since my Brain injury 10 years ago.. I had to get on anxiety meds to cope as I do have anxiety attacks over this. My precious baby, mommy is so sorry...
Hi,
My daughter claims she has been molested and raped by my older son who is 3 years older on several occasions (10 or more times). They were friends growing up and she had never mentioned anything, in fact she has no recollection of it ever occurring. My wife was a stay at home, and I never noticed anything suspicious. Presumably she is telling that this has all happened before her being 14 and he being 17. She claims his friends were involved also but she can't remember specifics but everything occurred in our house. After having several awful things in her life occurring very suddenly, a split engagement, 2 car accidents, she suddenly recalled what had happened. Specific details about being raped by my eldest son. He is now 27 and she is 24. She has now told us all this and has laid some fairly big guilt trips on us for not being there but I can't understand how any of this could have occurred without us knowing. What is the likelihood that such events took place, how often do people lie or over exaggerate the truth and what should my wife and I do now to handle the situation. We have approached our son about this who denies everything and our family has been destroyed because of it (we have 2 other children also).
Sophie: I understand your brother isn't hurting you anymore and you don't want him to get into trouble but I honestly feel you need to talk to your mom because he's not the only that has hurt you and those other boys are probably still hurting young girls like you were.Your brother and the others are wrong and violated you in away you shouldn't of been violated and it's not your fault. I thankyou for sharing with us and I really hope you talk to your mom and I think you should also mention it to your brother alone and tell him what he did took an effect on you and it also let's him know that you haven't forgotten. I'm sorry for what you went through.
nowhereto turn: Yes make a police report better yet take your daughter to the police station, they will quesion her alone as well though but I'd also go to the court house aand file emergency custody orders for that reason and also an order of protection.
iwasonly10: I believe you and I know the pain your feeling inside and the anger of the fact that your family doesn't believe you. I honestly feel you should let your wife know about what has happened to you. She is your wife but she is also your best friend as well and she will listen,comfort, support you in every way. I also feel you should get counseling to help you with the anger so this can stop eating you up inside. Your brother is wrong for what he has done to you and I know you wanted to confront him and ask him why and probably knock the hell out of him but he has past and now he has to answer to a more higher up for what he has done and the wrath of God is not just a slap on the hand and he will be punished for what he has done to you. You sound like your a wonderful man and you have a beautiful family and I think by sharing this with your wife will bring you two even closer and may help justify if you ever ha mood swings towards your family for reasons they don't know why. Please let your wife in so she can help you as well get through your pain. Please write back and let me know how it goes.
worriedmom: I would definetly say something and question what is going on. I can't see a 4 year old child saying something like that and it not being true. I would definetly ask and if her grandfather gives you the creeps then I'd keep her away from him. Your instincts are normally right about someone and if you feel it's possible then I wouldn't leave her alone at all with him.
Raychel: If I were you I'd sit down with this older kid and tell him if you want to come into my house these are my rules and tell him he will abide by them or not be allowed over anymore and I'd lay it on the line and tell him what you felt he did was inappropriate and go from there. You don't want to jump the gun but you don't want to overlook things either. So tell him your rules because it's your home.
Godschild2011: If she shows and signs I'd get her into counseling and I'd also turn it into cps about that little boy in case there's issues going on in his home causing him to do this. I think it's sad nothing was done but it's a good thing you put her into a different school but I'd definetly notify cps about what occured. I hope nothing like this happens again.
When I was 6 (I'm 14 now), I was molested by my brother (he was 15), and I never told anyone. I wish I had told somebody at the time, but now I know it's too late because there will be no evidence and such. Despite this, I love my brother and I wouldn't want his life ruined by me coming forward, and I know that what he did was wrong but I truly believe he's changed now. I've forgiven him, but I still have nightmares and on some days it's difficult to be around the man who molested me. But he would never do anything like that now. But the thing is, it's taken me about 5 years just to come to terms and accept what happened. I went through a very long stage of self harm, eating disorders and hating and blaming myself because of what happened. I've been through all of this on my own, and you have no idea how difficult it is for a 10 year old girl to deal with this by herself.
I've stopped the self harm and eating disorders, and I don't hate myself for not coming forward anymore. I think what happened made me who I am, although I would rather it had never happened at all, and when I grow up I want to be a counselor.
I've been molested by other people too, my neighbour, a stranger and a group of boys.
PLEASE, if you suspect anything like this with your child you really must do something about it. I don't want any child to go through what I went through, and I'm sure you wouldn't want that for your child either. Please.
My 8 yr old daughter just told me that her step brother (my ex husbands new wife's son) who is 15 stands almost 6 feet and weighs between 285 to 300 lbs came into her room and touched her in her private area. I called CPS in the county where my ex lives and made a report. I am waiting to hear back from them. I have never been in this position before and I don't know if I need to make a police report as well. Can someone please help me and point me in the right direction. I am having a hard time keeping my focus on what needs to be done legally because all I want to do is grab my daughter and son and take them away and keep them safe but, I know I need to what's needed legally.
Worried mother,
My 9 year old son recently met this 16 year old boy through a neighbor and from the first moment I met he gave me the creeps. There is a small group of neighborhood kids that ride skateboards and bikes on my street ,mostly in front of my house. The other boys are 14 and 10. The other day came and this 16 year old boy came to our house to play. None of the other kids were around and my son was playing video games in his room. The boy came and asked if my 9 year old could play. I told him that he was in his room playing. He asked if he could watch him play. I thought about it and thought maybe I could give him a chance even though my instinct was telling me something wasn't right with him. I mean when I was 16 I didn't want to have anything to do with a 9 year old! So I let him in but I spied on them the whole time. I heard whispering and giggling and I went right in there to find out what they were up to. They said they were just wrestling. A red flag went up again. So I made up some story and sent him home. I have always taught my son abuse good touched & bad touches since he could talk and so I asked him if the kid had ever touched in anyway that was uncomfortable. My son said "oh mom, we were just wrestling" But it didn't sit well with me. Then yesterday afternoon this kid shows up again and wants to hang out with my son. So I sat with them in my sons room and asked this kid every question in the book that I could think of to get to know him better, and to supervise there time playing together. My husband got home and he asked who was playing with our son and I told him it was that older kid. Well, he told me that something just didn't sit right with him either. I was now 7 o'clock, diner time and the boy was still there. I felt like I should offer him some food considering he has been at our house for several hours with out such a phone call to check in or going home to eat his diner. So he sat with us as we all ate and he was sitting extremely close to my son on the couch where we were eating and watching TV. I saw him put his arm around my son and was kind of tickling or more like caressing his side. I got right up & told my son to come to the kitchen for something and I told him that they were sitting to close and that is was bothering me. So after diner we were all watching a movie,he still hadn't talked to his parents, and the two boys started wrestling. We have a large couch and they were wresting on one end and I was watching them like a hawk. I saw numerous times when the older boy hat "accidentally brushed his crotch with his hand. And the way they were wrestling made me feel really very concerned, so I told them to knock it off. That that was enough wresting.. They stopped for a minute them the older boy picked up my son with his hand on his gentiles and his other arm around my sons waist. He proceeded to swing him around and I got upset to my stomach because the look in the older Boy's eyes were like we was getting pleasure from it. I made them stop and the boy just smiled and sat down super close to my son on the couch again. So when the older boy wasn't looking I gave my son "The Look" and used the hand jester like I was cutting his trough which I was meaning for him to stop it. He then seemed to scoot away and gave him some room between the two boys. It was past 9 pm and I asked the boy if he had to be home at a certain time and he just said he could be home when ever. I was ready for him to leave and had been hoping that we would have left long before then. H e stayed for a few more minutes and then left. I immediately shut the door and made sure he was gone and started asking my son the older boy had touched him inappropriately and he said no. I told him that I saw him brush up against his private parts , rub his leg and tickle him. My son them said he didn't mean to and that it was an accident. But I just had a weird feeling about the older kid and I don't want him to play with my son anymore. I feel that he is "grooming" my son. I read about in on the Internet and he has all the signs of a sexual predator. How do I tell the older boy that he is not welcome at our house? What do I do? Should I report it? Or am I being an overprotective mother? Please if anyone has any advice it would help a lot.
Pissedmom: I feel your pain! I have two daughters and the oldest claimed years later that her so called "Christian" grandfather would make him kiss her then stick his tongue in her mouth. She wrote it out on paper and I gave it to the sexual physical assault unit in Indianapolis, Indiana where he resides. Ofcourse, since there was no evidence, they couldn't do anything. Although they did request the grandfather to come in and speak to them, he refused. Kinda makes you wonder! Then two years ago my younger daughter who is now 16 claimed her father stuck his hand down her pants while she was sleeping and fondled her. This was several years after the fact but she gave me play by play which was alarming and I knew in my heart she wasn't lying. I again turned the information over and the police officer came to speak with her. A detective was assigned who seemed genuine but had no special training or college education in child abuse, just pulled directly off the street into a detectives position. He had a social worker who was 27 yrs old come in and interview her. They spoke to her father who refused to come in as well like his father and would only give his statement over the phone. I received a call from the detective that they weren't pressing charges because the social worker botched up the statements that were given even though they were recorded. (they were completely transcribed incorrectly). When I read the report that was transcribed verses what was actually said, I demanded the tape be reviewed again and they refused. It is UNBELIEVABLE how they can put law enforcement that have zero college education regarding the psychological behavior of sexually abused children to make the call whether they were abused or not then have a half whit making minimum wage transcribe the report. My daughter is scarred from this and has a hard time relating to the male gender. She is always on the defense and if I date anyone, she is very protective and/or doesn't want them around. Her father has had other reports filed against him regarding small children from other women he has dated and none of that was taken in consideration. Her father is now 41 and only dates women that are in their 20's with children that are always under the age of 8. The best help as a parent that I know to give children that have been a victim of sexual abuse is to have open communication with them regarding this issue at all times whether you start the conversation or they do.
Adding to what I have put in the first blog. I awoke one evening to my brother climbing on top of me and raping me in my bed. He held me down and put my face in the pillow and did his thing. He then said to me if I was to tell he would beat me. For such a long time i failed all of my classes and avoided all family functions. He continued to do this until I was twelve. By the time I turned 15 I was introduced to weights and sports and I began to grow and get stronger, so that is when he relized it was time to back off. I got to the point to where I had gotten so much larger than him and he left me alone. After i got home from the marine corps i approached him and he would never talk about it. I told him I was going to beat him down in the worst kind of way but he strated to avoid me like the plague. At this time I had two young boys and decided it was time to move on instead of deal, but it always lingers around in my mind. Why would someone that is suppose to love you hurt you so badly.
When I was ten years old my brother raped me in the shower and forced me to put his penis in his mouth. I am now a 40 year old man and still want to kill him. My brother has since passed in a vehicle accident and I feel ripped off because I didnt get to do it. I told both my parents about this and they to this day do not believe me. I really don't know what to do but to let it out. I hate the world, I hate everybody. I have six children and a beautiful wife, but I could never think of hurting them the way I hurt to this day. I still feel dirty and and cannot explain myself to my wife or parents. I just want to hurt all molesters!!!!!!!!!!!
I just wanted to give u an update. My 7 yr pd did disclose to me that his dad plays with his privates. I went to the police and cps and all they are doing is investigating it very slowly and since my sons dad has temp custody of him they are leaving him in his custody till it is founded and just making a safety plan stating he isn't allowed to be alone with him. I've gone to the magistrate and talked to legal aid trying to get a lawyer since I can't afford one and they both said they can't help me that since its just allegations that I can't do anything. The exact words are they don't want to jump the gun since it could be a lie. I'm beyond pissed and don't know what to do or where to turn. Any suggestions?
I'm 12 years old and have had all these things happening to me, literally all of them. But no one has ever touched me in an inappropriate way. Can you please give me your opinions.
Thanks.
I am now speaking from experience. DO NOT DOUBT YOUR CHILD. My son was four when he told me that he did not want his PAPA (my husband's Father)to watch him anymore b/c he touched his frog (that is what he called his private area) I for days pondered on the issue and finally I said that a four year old could not make this stuff up. what do they know about this issue, they just knew that it was wrong and did not like it and wanted it to stop. So believe in yourself and your child!!!! It has been a year and a half and We deal with it everyday...he is now seven and still cannot be alone. Yes it has ripped our family apart, but my son knows that we believed him and kept him safe. So do right by your child and take her out of that environment FAST!!! CALL Child protective services or the police...god bless you and your child.
my daughter has bipolar, add, and ocd. she has a HUGE history of lying. it got so bad that her father gave full custody to me, because he couldn't handle her behavior anymore. i, too, suffer from these disorders, so i feel like i can relate more to her than her dad. however, my daughter came to me on saturday morning, and calmly told me that her step-dad, my husband, had touched her inappropriately the night before last. mind you, my husband has been in her life since she was a baby....my daughter is now 11. with that being said, i didn't take what she said well. i honestly had a hard time believing it. however, being a victim of sexual abuse myself, i know how horrible it is to have the courage to say something, only to be told it you must be lying. so, there i was. completely torn. i immediately called my husband. she was in the room with me. i told him what she had told me, she even had the time...12:38 am. she was screaming at the phone, saying "don't lie, dad...you know you did it!" WTF??? i had no clue what to do. my husband was so upset. he, of course, said he did nothing of the sort. then my daughter changed her story to saying it had happened the night before, and that she had never told me it was the night prior. at that instant, i knew she had lied. my husband and i were watching a movie until 1:30 am. she sounded so convincing. i was at a loss. what was i to do. i calmly told her the ramifications of a situation like this. i then asked her if maybe she could have had a bad dream. a few minutes later she came to me and said just that. she apologized and went about her day as if nothing had ever happened. that night when my husband returned home from work, she gave him a big hug, took the gatorade he bought for her, and preceded to ask for a redbox movie. my question is this. what should i do? i plan on getting a hidden camera for her room, and have already put a call into her psychiatrist. tonight, my husband and i plan on calling her dad and step mom, to let them know what happened as well. she made up stories at her dad's house, too, about them abusing her. she told everyone in the church that her dad locked her up in her room and didn't feed her. i am thankful to God that we have open communication with her step-mom and dad. we just want to get her the help she needs, and everyone is on board. however, am i taking the right steps here? what will happen if i tell the dr? i don't want to ignore this, as i feel it needs to be documented, but i also don't want my husband and my family to be drug through the ringer over some false accusations. any advice would be appreciated. should i consult an attorney?
My daughter, 4 years old, has made some accusations that her step grandfather touches her private area. I'm not sure what to do. The man gives me the creeps and he always gives her extra special attention and buys her special presents just from him. To make it worse my daughter's grandmother runs a daycare...I asked my daughter what happend and she gave me specific details, like Papa touched my "pee pee" (that is what she calls her private area) with his fingers and she said that her grandma was sleeping. I just don't know what to do because then sometimes if I ask her she will say no one has ever touched her. I don't know what to do, I don't want to rip the family apart just if she is making stories up but i don't want her being abused either! I just don't know!!!!
I am saddened to say that my daughter is was only 2yrs when this begun at preschool with a new little boy who had just come to her school. This little boy was very unkept and had behavioral issues from the jump start. I routinely spoke to my daughter about touching and "no, no" spots and asked if anyone touched her on her vagina. Some time had passed when i didnt ask her but i noticed at home, where only she and I live, she was walking around touching herself,laying on the bed watching tv he hard would be in her panty touching herself, if i let her bathe by herself and passed the bathroom i would catch her playing with herself....until this particular day we were in the shower and she started doing it and i shouted at her "why you keep doing that?" "is someone touching you?" to which she answered "yes" so i felt like ok maybe she ain sure so I took her out the tub and laid her on the bed and told her to show me how and she kinda squeezed her vagina, told me the boy didnt go in her panty but he touches another lil girl to. By time aas she got in k3 another incident occured and her language changed and she was now tellin my nephew to touch her vagina or wanting to be in just her panty and lay down with her legs wide open etc. I reported the school because the first time the principal told me that she will not remove the boy but will ensure that it does nto happen again. I never got a meeting that i requested with the little boys' parents to date. I got advised overseas to just move my daughter from the school. I tried to make a report at the police station but there is no law because they both are underage and nothing to hol dthe parents accountable.I lost sleep a few nites crying over this because that is my baby! I never expected this to happen to my child.....to she use to say all the itme her vagina hurting and use to have these boils break out on her vagina often.....the nurse at her new school suggested to me that because she was being touched (eventually little boy was "poking" her in her vagina) my daughter's words.....that the boils and her vagina hurting could have been as a result of the touching. This hurts even now although she is in a new environment because she is a baby! I feel now she is kind of fascinated with the sensation she gets from touching herself though i dont see much of it now as before.
wheretoturn: Hi Don't question yourself what you did is right. If that teacher was told to stop by your son and you then he should of but he didn't he told your son he loved him and he will never stop. Telling your son he loved him that to me tells me that teacher has some serious issues and he shouldn't be working there with other children. I think you going to authorities was the right thing to do and you watch how many other parents start coming forward and speaking about things he has done to there children. I wouldn't worry about what happens to that teacher his actions are very unprofessional and inappropriate and he had no right to violate your sons space. I wouldn't worry about the teacher trying to sue you and if he did try it wouldn't stand up in court, the judge is going to look at that teacher and see he has some screws loose and that your concerned parents and you have a right to have an issue resolved that concerns your child with schooling and if anything if he is found guilty then the school and teacher should be afraid of you suing them do to the fact they admitted guilt by saying the teacher does that to all of the children. You can have thats teachers job and sue them for sexual harrasment... So don't worry.. Let me know how it goes. I hope this helps.
My daughter is 10 now her father started Molesting her when she was 6 my daughter finally told me when he had done when she was 8 after she had went over to his home for a weekend visitation... I called cps and took her streight to the police station she spoke to a police offficer and told them everything they made a report and a detective in garland, tx contacted me after 3 days they dismissed everything, they never did a exam on my daughter or anything they told me that they thought i told her what to say.... The bad part it my daughter isnt the 1st child he has done this to and they dismissed it like it never happened... detective galvon of the garland police department said that my daughter making the out cry to the police officer wasnt enough to even arrest him. Now he lives next to a school so he can watch all the little girls walk by his house the words came out of his mouth.. no joke he is a sick guy and the law wont get him off the streets what good is the law if the police will not inforce it... The cops in garland are more worried about pulling people over for there radio being to loud, or someone jay walking across the street and talking on there cell phone and not looking at the real criminals... My daughter was even therapy for 2 years and told her therapist what he did she reported it to garland police and said to much time has lapst there was nothing they could to about it now... When is there a limitation on a child being sexualy abused and why can they not prevent it from happening again to another child.... Is there anyone out there that can help me get justice for my daughter??? and how to cope with the anger... My little girl went from being a over achiver testing at a 2nd grade level in kindergarden to a very angry, violint, and depressed child that maked d's and f's in school now and hating life.... i hate seeing my baby girl hurt so badly.. If there are any attorneys out there that can give some advice on what i can do please please write back...
My wife and I suspect that our 7 yr old son was a target of a pedophile teacher. The teacher, was kissing him (on the cheek), hugging him and set him on his lap to copy some material from his book (our son said because he did not have his book). Our son started having behavioral problems, hugging and kissing us in an uncomfortable way. When we asked where did he learn that he said from this teacher. Our son was angry, would hit himself in the head, say that he was stupid. His grades were starting to drop. Plus other problems like fighting at school, nightmares, being distracted. When we found out we became concerned and talked to the teacher. We told the teacher to not kiss or hug him anymore. We also found out he was giving candy to the kids and we told him no more for our child. He stopped... sort of. But told our son he wanted to marry him, and come live with him. He tried to kiss our son again but he told him to stop. We went to the director of the school and told her everything and said we wanted it stopped. She said she would take care of it and that she would keep her eye on the situation. The teacher then tried to get our son to sit next to him and our son did as we had told him and left the room and went to the director. But she did nothing. He then tried to kiss our son again and when our son told him no he said that he loved him and that he would not stop. That's when we went back to the school and confronted the teacher and brought him before the director and the principal. The school defended him saying that he was that way with all the children and we were making a mountain out of a molehill and that if we didn't feel our child was safe we could take him and leave. Which is what we did. And immediately reported the situation to the police. We are waiting to hear from them.
My question is this. In talking to our son he does not say anything about be groped. He never expressed any concern about going to school or being around that teacher. Could this just be his way and, although completely inappropriate, and like the school says just his way, and not criminal and so we are wrong for taking this so far? Are the police likely not take action since our son doesn't report anything other than what I have said? Are we likely to be sued or prosecuted for wrongfully complaining because of our actions? To me, the teacher, having touched our son after he was told not to by our son, us and the director, that is touching without consent, is a crime. It doesn't seem to me we should have to wait until some horrible act occurs before we take action. But we are also concerned not to ruin someone's life because of such serious charges when nothing happened so to speak. It seems he is responsible for the consequences of his actions (inappropriate behavior) but this is such a serious matter that as we sit here and wait for the police to decide if they are going to do anything (it's Saturday and they can't do anything until Monday) we feel like we should have just removed him and kept our mouths shut. Can you help us sort any of this out?
scaredmom: If your daughter is saying someone is touching her there I'd go to the police and report it. I think it's odd for a child to have sores down below. Sometimes cps makes me mad because they overlook a lot of things. If your daughter tells the police what's happening they have to do something. If this doctor isn't helping then I would take her to a different doctor or possibly an obgyn and see what they think and then go from there and maybe file for emergency custody. I hope this helps. I'm sorry for what your going through.
concernedmom: I would first sit down with your son and ask him what's going on. Who is telling him monsters are going to get him and tell him there is no such things as monsters and reassure him he is safe and that he can tell you. I'd ask him if simeone is touching him in certain areas and go from there. You want to find out first who is doing what so this way your not blaming the wrong person and if he tells you what's going on you need to go to authorities and take your son there as well. Then after that file for emergency custody to go to you. I hope this helps and I'm sorry your son has to live in fear. Let me know how it goes.
my 8 yr old has sores on her private and a yeast infection! she lives with her dad and her dads girlfriends dad watches them when he is working! They said that she has mersa and she is on meds for a yeast infection. I just got her this weekend and i have thought for yrs that she was being molested but child protective services have always thrown it out and she has never been checked by a doctor internally. now she cries when she pees and has sores that have opened and she has to wear panty liners. she told me the doctor has asked her if anyone touched her she says no and the doctor hasn't called anyone even though it seems he feels something inappropriate has happened or he wouldn't ask the question. don't know what to do protective services thinks i'm just trying to cause trouble. but obviously there is something wrong. my sister asked her if she has dreams of someone touching her she says yes and names the person. what should i do next?
Hi I'm a mother of a 7 yr old boy. His dad recently came back into his life the end of June this yr after being out of it since 07'. On 8/5 he took him for a visit for a wk we have no set custody of him. That evening I had CPS on my door saying I abuse and neglect my son which is absoluetly obsurd. I've never and would never hurt any of my kids. The following sat the day before he was suppose to come up I got 2 certified letters. One from his lawyer and one from the court saying he had temp emergency custody. On 9/10 we went to court and his temp custody was extended pending more hearings and I was given every other wkend visits starting that day at 6pm. When I picked him up he ran from his paternal grandma and aunt over to me and gave me the biggest hug he ever has and hugged his little bro. We went back to my house and he was telling me he wants to live with me not with his daddy. I didn't think anything of it I just told him that mommy is working on getting him back. That night when it was bedtime he said he wanted to sleep in bed with me and wanted his brother to sleep in bed with us along with the dogs so that we can protect him from the monsters taht get him at daddy's house. That concerned me some because he has always slept in his own room and never said anything about monsters or being afraid of the dark. That night and the following night while he was sleeping he was thrashing around and whinning and saying no and it looked like he was fighting someone. He also confined in me that he is forced to take showers at his daddy's house and that his dad bathes him. Again I didn't think much of it till the next day when we were doing bath time he wanted to take a bath with his 2 yr old bro I didn't have a problem with that they are both boys. They played in the tub for a few mins and I stayed in the bathroom since his lil bro was in the bath. When it was time to wash them. I gave Damien his loofa and told him to clean himself and I'd wash his hair like I always do and I proceeded to wash his little bro. When I started cleaning my 2 yr olds genitals my 7 yr old started acting really weird when he saw it he scooted away and pulled his legs up to his chest hiding his genitals and seemed really nervous and uncomfortable. When I was done cleaning my 2 yr old and rinsed him off my 7 yr old went back to his normal behavior and finish washing himself but wouldn't wash or touch his genitals even after being told he needed to clean them too. I let it go since he seemed really uncomfortable about it. The whole time he was here he was attached to my hip wherever I was he wanted to be including going to the bathroom with me. The whole time he was hear he'd tell me he wanted to live with me and didn't want to go back. When my visit was over and I had to get him ready to take him back and he found out the fear of death came into his eyes and u can see the tears well up in his eyes but he never actually cried. He just kept saying mommy why can't I stay with you. I don't want to live with daddy. It was heartbreaking and there was nothing I could do. They had told him if I didn't bring him back to the meeting place at the time I was suppose to that they were going to call the police and I was going to go to jail. I tried reassuring him that everything was ok and that I was going to get him back home as soon as I could. The whole ride to the meeting place he was fighting back tears and look petrified. When we got to the meeting place I gave him a hug and told him to act like nothing was wrong and wipe his eyes so they wouldn't see the tears. He did and when we went in his paternal grandparents were there. He ran up to his grandma and gave her a hug and she told him to go give me a hug and when he did I could feel he was shaking and he didn't want to let me go. His grandma had to say ok lets go we have to do some shopping and he reluctantly let go but kept looking back at me as they walked away. He hasn't told me they are touching him or given me any info besides what I have disclosed and I didn't press him for it and I'm wishing now that I did. I won't get him back again till 9/23. I don't know what to do or if i'm making a big deal out of nothing and overreacting. I of course want to protect my child and if he is getting abused want to get him out of the situation but I also don't want to sit him down and press him for info and make him uncomfortable and I don't want to notify the police unless I have him with me cuz I don't want them to go over there and talk to him cuz I know that he won't say anything. Please help me. I just need to know if this is something I should be concerned about. I know some of the signs of child abuse since I was abused at his age by a man outside of the house and that's what I'm worried about that I'm looking for the signs and making something out of nothing. Thanks for reading and any advise you have for me.
I have some concerns about my 7 yr old son and some things he has said and behaviors he has started. My son's dad came back into his life the end of June this yr after being out for 4 yrs. He went for a visit w/ his dad and the first day of the visit I had CPS knock on my door saying I was being accused of physically abusing and neglecting my 7 yr old and found out the following sat that his dad was giving emergency temp custody. On the 9th of this mth I had my first visit w/ him and it was the first time I'd seen him since the 5th of aug. He disclosed to me that his daddy bathes him and makes him take showers. Which wasn't too extremely concerning till the next day when I was bathing my boys when I started cleaning my 2 yr olds genitals my 7 yr old started acting really uncomfortable and nervous. So that started concerning me. The whole weekend he was with me he was glued to my side I couldn't even go the bathroom by myself, was telling me he wanted to live w/ me and didn't want to go back to his dad's, and he had to sleep in bed w/ me. He stated he wanted me to keep the monsters away that get him at his daddy's house. I didn't press him for any info at the time and now that I think about it I wish I would have because when he found out that I was taking him back to his dad's he got really upset he didn't cry but you can see that he was fighting back tears and kept telling me he didn't want to go back and asking why he couldn't stay w/ me. I told him right now he couldn't that the court won't let him but that soon he'll get to. I'm concerned that mb his dad or someone at his dad's house is molesting him. Do you think I should be concerned and what should I do? The court has only given me every other weekend with him I don't get him again till 9/23 and I don't want to go to the police with my suspsions and have him questioned at his dad's house.
girl567: I know your scared and honestly you really need to sit down and talk to your mom about what took place. If he has done this to you then he could do it to someone else. It could effect you in the future but it also might not. Don't be afraid because you did nothing wrong he violated you and touched you in away tthhe shouldn't of. There is a possiblity that in the future he mightt try this to you again. You really need to tell your mom and alssolet her know your scared, a mom's love for her child is unconditional and and I'm pretty sure your mom will comfort you. She may be in shock at first because your her child andno mom wants there baby to go through what you did. Do me a favor please talk to your mom. Let me know how it goes.
hello I'm a 13 year old girl and I've been molested last year by a far 27 year old boy relative of mines. But it didn't have anything to do with being naked.... but he did touch my privates. he was like that for 2 hours to me.
i didn't tell anyone just because it has only happened once and I'm too afraid to tell anyone. But what I'm really concerned about is, will I get effected during the future? Like my thoughts and stuff like that? Will anything harm me in the future? please help me, i really don't feel comfortable with talking to someone around me. thanks!
frustratedwsystem: I would take your son to the er and let them know what happened and have them look at him and see if his bum bum has irritation. I would pull him from that school and never allow him to go there again. I would press the issue further. I'd ask other parents that take there children there if there kids have ever complained about being touched wrongfully. Make sure you have facts so this way they can't say it's fabricated. I understand your frustration because there is no way a three year old would come up with something like this not unless it's actually happening. Definetly get your child out of there because GOD know's what she will do next and your child's safety comes first.
My son who is three years old just recently disclosed to us that a female teacher at his daycare was grabbing his ear, when asked if she touches him anywhere else he said she nibbless (he used that word) and pointed to his chest. When my husband and I asked him more about what happened and if she touched him anywhere else he said she "puts her finer in my bumm bumm" Taking off his pullup. During our conversation with him we continued to reassure him that he is not in trouble and it is important to tell mommy and daddy. This particular teacher he has voiced being afraid of and not liking her. I also have struggled for the past few months with him crying when I drop him off to go to work, he is very upset. The daycare had an impeccable clean record. We reported this to the authorities of who came to our home for statements and said numerous times you know the owners would never allow this to happen as if already biased that this did not happen. We are so frustrated with the system. The teacher of course denied it and the daycare owners and other teachers stated that they didn't believe the teacher would do such a thing. The officials came back and told us intially that they didn't believe anything happen and than later said they couldn't confirm or deny anything happen. Additionally CPS were not able to substantiate given the denial etc...stating that maybe our son's perception was wrong and because we continued to ask him questions we were leading him and pressing him to tell us what he did. What the H is wrong with the system that our son discloses to his most trusted adults his parents and does not completly disclose to authorities. He only disclosed the nibbling of the chest and grabbing ear. Why can we not press charghes against this woman? Why is she able to still remain teaching at this daycare, placing other children at risk?
unusualnightmares: I would talk to your mom about your dreams. I think what happened to your mom really bothers you and it's natural as a parent to fear something happening to your child especially if there is history of molestation in your family. So I would definetly sit down and talk to your mom about what has happened and maybe this will give you some relief of your fears. I hope this helps.
Hi, as a mother I have been highly concerned about anyone who watches my kids and have always made sure the people who watch my two sons are in menbest interest. I actually just woke up from a nightmare and this is the first time I ever had a nightmare like this. It was about my oldest son (4 years) being sexually abused by my mother. It shook me up to the point of me crying when I woke up. I went on google and cane to this page about signs of child sexual abuse. My oldest son does gave nightmares and is really scared of monsters and the dark. But I know being younger when his dad was around his dad use to play tricks and pop put of the closet to scare him, so I would think that was it. He does ask for my mom once in a while. But i just recently moved out from there. It's our first time being out of the house. He does give attitude towards me, but I'm thinking it's the age. My mother was molested as a child before my grandfather before he passed. I don't know why this dream would occur. Also my youngest son has a new habit of taking off his diaper and touching his genital area. He thinks it's funny. He is 22 months old. Slightly speaking. I'm very bothered and am just seeking any advice right now.
overwhelmed mama: I don't blame you for being concerned it would definetly make me wonder what's going on. I wish I wrote back to you before your court date because I would tell you to fight the more visitation rights. I would sit down with your son and ask him what is going on? Ask him if anyone has touched him there and explain to him that he is not in trouble. Ask if someone is telling him monsters will get him and you and reassure him that's there is no such thing. I also feel if the counselor feels his behaviors are odd from coming back from his dad then I'd supena the counselor into to court to testify on your son's behalf. Also if your son tells you something is happening then go to authorities and press charges and get a restraining order.There is definetly a reason your son doesn't want to go to his dad's house and I'm not sure if it's because he hasn't seen him in awhile and he is use to being with you and his step dad or if something wrong is taking place. Definetly look into it and also don't be afraid to express your concerns to the judge and document the date,time. and behaviors of your son to take to court with you to show the judge what your talking about. I hope this helps and keep in touch and let me know..
My middle son is 7, first last year when he spent his summer vacation that was ordered by the court with his dad he came back and started wetting the bed and it went on for about 3 months something he had NEVER done he was hard to potty train but when he did he very rarely had accidents, since the 2011 visit with dad he has come back throwing tantrums and very rebellious in general he cries when it is mentioned that he has to go for his weekend visit and wants his step dad to tell his real dad he dont have to go, he is in counseling and dr said he believes its ODD, the medication has helped somewhat but bio dads new girlfriends family has a past her brother is currently in prision for molesting 2 of his nieces and it is said he molested his own son. I dont have to worry about my son being around him but she has two daughters (not the ones that were molested) but I just dont know what to think anymore, found this hub because I have been worried because he has a nightmare over and over that Me and his big brother get eaten by a "monster" just sad and dont know how to help him but give him love and prayers. We actually go to court tomorrow to change the current visitation schedule because he wants to have "extra" time with them even though he sends them to whoever will take them on his visit.
My middle son is 7, first last year when he spent his summer vacation that was ordered by the court with his dad he came back and started wetting the bed and it went on for about 3 months something he had NEVER done he was hard to potty train but when he did he very rarely had accidents, since the 2011 visit with dad he has come back throwing tantrums and very rebellious in general he cries when it is mentioned that he has to go for his weekend visit and wants his step dad to tell his real dad he dont have to go, he is in counseling and dr said he believes its ODD, the medication has helped somewhat but bio dads new girlfriends family has a past her brother is currently in prision for molesting 2 of his nieces and it is said he molested his own son. I dont have to worry about my son being around him but she has two daughters (not the ones that were molested) but I just dont know what to think anymore, found this hub because I have been worried because he has a nightmare over and over that Me and his big brother get eaten by a "monster" just sad and dont know how to help him but give him love and prayers. We actually go to court tomorrow to change the current visitation schedule because he wants to have "extra" time with them even though he sends them to whoever will take them on his visit.
imsoupset: I would be concerned. I don't feel a father begging his son to sleep with him is normal. I think there is definetly something going on there. Your brother migth not show any signs but you might want to come out and ask your brother if his dad has done anything to him, but reassure him he is not in trouble. Try this and let me know how it goes.
my little brother is 9 and my dad is always begging him to come sleep with him but my brother always says noo...one time around 12 ..12:30 hes calling him in the night or morning..and my brother just ignore him..i told my mom..but there not together soo shes looking ad she tells my other brother not to sleep with him anymoree...but my 9year old brother doesnt show any signns.and i dont know what tot hinkk..should i be concerned?
Relocator: I don't think your paranoid I think your a worried mom and you want to make sure your child is safe and trust me I'm the same way. If I were you I'd sit down and talk to your ex and tell him how your feeling. This is about your child and your concerns and if he loves your child and being a dad he should understand your fear and if he has a probleme with you saying something then at least you brought it to his attention so it will keep his mind aware of it and it will make him more cautious while your child is there. I wouldn't over react and leave state only because nothing has happened and it wouldn't be fair to your child to not have his/her father in his/her life. Trust me I totally understand what your feeling so make it known and start from there and see how it goes but don't let your child not see there father because that's punishing your child and like I said nothing has happened. Talk to him and see how it goes. Let me know how it turns out...
Kristin: Ijust want to say to you don't think that someone is always with your daughter when she is in her dad's presence. I don't think any 5 year old is going to just make up a story that her dad is punching her, there might be something else going on and that's her way of saying it. Like in my article I said don't be in denial by saying oh no he would never do something like that because honestly your not there and you don't know if she has alone time with him or not or if something is going on when everyone else is sleeping. If I were you I'd ask your daughter if someone is touching her there and ask if it's her dad or if it's anyone else and that it's ok to tell you. I'd start there and see what she say's and then take action. I hope this helps let me know how it goes.
I have a 14-month old daughter. Her dad and I are not together. He wants to start having her for full days and overnight at his place when his other children visit. His son is 10 and his daughter is 15. This makes me very nervous as I am fully aware of the kinds of things that older kids can do to younger kids. I lived in a house where one female teen cousin molested a younger preschool aged female cousin. I can also recall inappropriate behavior with kids who visited when I was younger - a boy exposing himself, little girls wanting to kiss and hump. Fortunately, I had strong self-esteem and would just say "no, I don't want to do that".
I have no idea what his other kids have been exposed to. The dad likes to have a lot of people around and in my opinion - isn't as "watchful" and "aware" as he should be. He sleeps late. I could see him leaving the baby with the 14 year old and the son. Who knows what the son would be doing with my child while the 14 year old is texting or Facebooking.
Some people call me paranoid but I don't care. This happens WAY TOO OFTEN in families and I want to do everything I can to protect my daughter.
How can I protect my baby? I'm thinking about relocating to a different state so she doesn't have to be alone with them.
i have a five year old that gose to her dad everyother weekend and she tells them that her stepdad punches her everyday whitch i know is not true because hes never alone with her but she is acting out very badly she beats her two year old sister up everyday for no reason ive caught her and her friend sticking there fingers in place they dont belong on eachother ive caught them frech kissing and i dont know if she seeing something she shouldnt be at her dads or what she keeps instisting that she has to dress like a huchie mama she calls it i dont know what to think about this all her privet area is alway red but i thought its because she so worryed about playing that she wont wipe her self when she gose to the bathroom she can someone please try to explan to me whats going on with her or what to do
Worried: I think nanny cams are great but if the issue is already happening then it's to late. I think if your feeling uncomfortable and worried then you should talk to your botfriend about how your feeling, don't accuse him because it could be he is just playing and just not realizing or paying attention to the areas your son is hitting or crawling around on. If your boyfriend truly loves you then he will understand your fear and explain to you without getting to offended. I think it's best if you just mention it to him and how it makes you feel uncomfortable. My question to you is have you ever been molested? The reason I ask is because of your fear. To fear for your child safety is ok. Let me know how it goes.
Hi, I was just feeling a little worried about my boyfriend he is the father of our 15 month old son, and worried about my baby. I am worried all the time about who I leave my baby with, and have not fully trusted anyone with him yet. SO I don't know if this is my own trust issue.
When they play together it is mostly normal father, son play... though I am not sure what is normal for everyone.
But he will let our baby crawl around his manhood area, .. he doesn't seem to notice it... but I won't leave them alone together anymore, Is this normal play? One time my baby was dancing on his lap and it looked really inappropriate like a humping action, I don't know if there was any contact but it looked really bad he didn't move him when I walked in the room. I don't know...\
I really want to protect my son, I just want to be aware of what to look out for in the way a predator acts towards children. What do you think about nanny cams?
Also my niece and nephew came to visit us, and he picked my niece up in a way where it looked like his hand touched her private area. What should I watch out for in a my boyfriends actions and also in a 15 month old baby?
Thank you
thank you so much and belive me ive made it known and of coursethe wife doesnt belive but as for the cam corder i didnt think of that i will try it
Clueless: Also I have one more suggestion for you that I forgot to mention if your daughter is admitting this to you then take a camcorder and keep it out of your daughters sight and video record her saying this to you and show that to authorities just make sure it's not co hersed hopefully this helps because police record it when your in a room and saying it and they also record on video the victim alone stating what has happened.
Mom: I'm sorry your daughters are going through this it makes me sick. I'd suggest that your daughters go with you to authorities and if that don't work then I'd take them to the ER tell the er That there hurting down there and allow your children to tell the er nurse's what happened and they will probably do a rap test on your children which isn't a fun thing to go through. By law Nurse's,doctors have to report it to authorities and cps might be called in as well and they have to do something about it, then after this I'd take him to court and file for full custody and get a restraining order against him. The down fall of doing this might be that your children might be put in cps custody temporarly until you go to court. I hope this helps.. Let me know how it goes.
clueless: I would start by first keeping your daughter away from him. If he has a wife I'd tell her especially if they have children. I'd also ask his children if he has any if he has done that to them. I'd also make sure everyone in the family is aware of what he has done. I'd make his life a living hell. You can also get a restraining order against him. I'd comfort your daughter as much as you can and let her know what he did to her is wrong and that it's not her fault. I hate when authorities say there's nothing they can do it's very frustrating but until your daughter states to them what he has done he is considered innocent unfortunately. If your daughter said anything to the counselor about it then I'd slap a civil suit against him and personally sue his pathetic butt. My suggestion to you is like I said word of mouth make it known to him that you now what he has done and make the whole family aware of it rather they believe it or not. Make it also aware to him that you got your eye on him and that if he touches another child you'll bring him down legally. I understand your frustration,anger and disappointment with the law but like I said tell the whole family and I bet this will put him in his place that his little secret is known so he better watch out. I hope it all turns out well for you. Keep in touch with me and let me know... Good Luck and I'm so sorry your daughter had to experience this nightmare from that creep.
my four year old told me that her uncle touched her tutu ive been to the cops, dfacs, and a counsler ive done all i can do but she will only talk to me or my cousin about it but they say unless she tells them there is nothing they can do i dont know where to go from here who to go to before this is done to another little child something needs to be done can you help im clueless
my dughters r being molested by their fther, nd the police wont listen to me
Because: Yes every situation is different and some don't show any signs at all. I didn't show any signs either but however it does do a lot to you mentally. Thanks for your comment and I'm glad you did point that out that some show no signs.
I did not experience any of these signs at all. Every situation is different. Sometimes there are no signs.
unknow: If you were molested by your dad as a child and if your dad lives in that home where your children are going then I wouldn't be taking your children there. I'm sorry but once a molester always a molester. So my question to you is your dad the one that molested you as a child in that home as well?
Hi I am the one that just wrote and I want to mention I have two daughters one is 22 months and my other is 7 months and b for they went to their grandmas they were not red when I changed my 7 month old she still was not red than when I changed my oldest she was red and irritated down there and she was screaming in pain and its not this time that my mom watch the girls and she came home red and irritated. I think its everytime she watches her she ends up with a rash and last night when on the potty she put her finger down there and also every time I change her not red or n e think she screams ow... And it scares me and I am stressing over this cuz I don't know how the doc can tell if she is being touched down there by her since when I was 2-5 I was molested by my father so to think she is is making me sick and I need to know what to do I don't want to accuse someone if its nothing it just don't make since my oldest is always red and irritated down there and my youngest isn't after being with grandma..... Also 3 days ago is when she watch them the first time and I saw my daughter was a little red but not irritated and it went away but that day she didn't watch her more than an hr but yesterday she watched them for the day and so ahhh please help
I have a 22 month old and every time she comes home from seeing grandma she is always really red like super red and when I change her she screams ow and yesterday she touched her pp but I also have a 7 month old n she's never red when she comes home from there what should I think I'm scared
Thank you so much for your advice and guidance! I've been a wreck and never been through anything like this so I didn't know what to do or where to start! I really appreciate it and will keep you updated!
Annmarie_5: Thankyou very much. It was hard to share what I went through with the world but I had to because this is an ongoing thing and I want parents that have children to know the signs and to beaware that molestation to children happens all of the time and children fear saying anything or don't know how to express themselves of what's going on because they don't know if it's right or wrong. That's why us as parents need to teach our children about wrongfull touch while there young.. Thankyou very much for your comment
concerned mom: I'm glad you all were able to talk about it with your neice and yes if there's a same sex relationship going on then that can be the cause and also the internet is a big influence with children. I'm glad there doing something about it that's a step in the right direction. I feel if your son is going through anger and a lot of emotions then I would say yes you should get him into counseling and I feel also being your going through emotions to then counseling will help you as well. I hope counseling helps you both and your son gets better. Please in the future let me know how it goes. I'm sorry you have to go through this and for the changes and emotions your son is feeling but stay strong and I believe what your doing is the right thing.
Well she said she was curious because her older sister learned about some stuff in school and was looking things up online and my sister went from a divorce to the girls dad to being in a same sex relationship and I'm wondering if that all has anything to do with it...and I am concerned if maybe something happened to her! My daughter didn't know anything about sex and I'm not sure that she still completely understands it all but I know she's been upset herself and my niece came clean about everything and brought up that she was curious because of her moms relationship now and her sister and her looking things up on the Internet and such! So Internet has been taken away and her parents said they are going to get her some help to figure out what's going on and causing this! I'm sad and concerned for her and I'm worried and I'm trying to figure out how to deal with all these emotions and such! My son has been showing anger and been different the past couple weeks and comes and sleeps in my bed every night and I'm not really sure how to make him feel safe and ok for him to understand because he's only 3! I'm trying to keep him busy and be positive and get him excited for preschool next week!
This hub will help so many people. I admire your courage to talk openly about what you experienced. Rated up.
concerned mom: I think your son might forget but my concern is about your 8 year old neice? It's not normal for a child to do what she did so I'm wondering where did she learn that from and if someone molested her? I know your going through a lot of emotions and your concern about your son and I think as long as nothing else happened he will be ok but like I said you also need to ask yourself what caused your neice to do what she did. You have two little kids here so I'd definetly look into what's going on with your neice as well. Hope this helped
My 7 year old daughter came up to me and told me that my 8 year old niece was taking my 3 year old sons diaper off the other day and that she touched him inappropriately and put her mouth to his privates! I feel sick to my stomach and have so many emotions right now! We are dealing with the situation but I guess what I would like to know is is this something my son will remember as he grows older...he's only 3 and he confirmed for the most part what my daughter said happened so do I take him to see someone or will he not remember being so young?
Not at First: I didn't approve your comment due to the nature of it and the description for every little detail. My question to you is can you not tell the difference in touch between your wife and a child? Do you not have a lock on your bedroom door? Also why didn't you tell your wife about her coming into the bathroom and she refused to leave while you were showering and how she ask you to help you shower? Honestly do to the nature of what you wrote I should turn it into authorities myself and the reason I say this because some molesters out there make excuses to cover up the crime they commited. I'm sorry but your story doesn't add up and seems a little suspicious to me being I was molested as a child. If what your telling me is the GODS honest truth then your damn straight you need to tell your wife what happened especially if you trully love her. You also need to tell her because if this is the actions of a little girl then she needs help because she has probably been molested by others if not you. You have a chance to clear your situation up and make it right and I suggest you do so!!!! I see no excuse for what has happened..
idon't know: I think you need to sit down and have a talk with your mom about how your feeling. Maybe your mom while changing your daughter is wipping her a little to hard. I would definetly tell your mom about your fears. If you still feel your daughter is unsafe with your mom then you might want to consider putting your daughter in a public day care but not a private individual. Seriously have a talk with your mom she's your mom and the grandmother of your daughter so she should have an understanding of how your feeling and if she gets defensive then I'd put your daughter in day care for sure. Don't just let it go because you need to protect your child and keep her safe and above all she comes first.
Im worried i leave my 2 year old with my mother 9 out of 10 times when i get home from school the outside of my daughter privates are red not raw but red she acts normal sometimes she hits herself but its not often and it seams like she just does it to make us laugh over all she is normal very smart VERY SMART and loves people will walk up to stingers on the street she does have nightmares from time to time, ( a little bet of a back story my brother was in my mothers care when he was molested by another relative when my brother told about it nothing was ever done and in time it was like nothing ever happened then my mother made excuses for her" im confused should i be worried
RG Stewart: If I were you I'd just ask him if he would ever hurt your oldest daughter. Also if you feel this way about him then my question to you is why did you marry him if your asking yourself this. I'm not trying to be rude but if you do feel this way then why would you put your daughter in jeopardy by marrying a man you feel could be a child molester? I think you need to ask your daughter if he has ever tried anything and you also need to sit down and talk to your husband and tell him how your feeling.
hi i recently got married to the father of my 8 yr old daughter. but he is not the father of my 13 yr old im scared that he might touch her pls tell me what to do or things to look for incase he is a child molester.
idkanymore: I'm sorry your going through so many emotions and the not knowing can tear you apart. It could be possible that you were molested and that you don't cleary remember it because your mind is blocking it out because it was a tramatic thing for a child to go through. I think because this is really taking a toll on you that maybe some counseling would help you because I know still to this day from what I went through as a child I still have alot of anger and bitterness inside and it can make you turn into an untrusting and a hatefull person especially when it comes to relationships and I don't want to see this happen to you. I think you should talk to your mom and see if she can get you some counseling so you can openly express what your feeling inside. I wish you luck and if you need someone to talk to I'm here and I can try to help you as much as possible but counseling is the best for you.
unknown: Omg if he is taking a shower with his daughter that is so inappropriate and that is a definite red flag you need to contact authorities immediately. Call cps and tell them what you just told me. I'm sorry but she is definetly being molested all the signs that you just describe to me are signs of a child molester. You also need to get out of that relationship but please do me a favor before you get out of it make sure the little girl is safe and that cps is investigating it. Also you can ask the little girl in private if he is hurting her there and if she says yes turn him into the police asap. If you have children of your own keep them away from him also in the mean time try to keep his daughter in your sight at all times even if you have to go to the store take her with you. I wish you luck and it saddens me and makes me sick to know a father can do this to his daughter when he should be protecting her from people like him.
Lita: I would definetly mention something to the mother of the child even if she gets defensive because it could possibly be the father doing something to her. I think the mom needs a reality check of reality and realize that some fathers molest there children even when the mother thinks oh no he would never do that. It's better to say something then nothing at all to save this little girl and if it comes down to it call cps and tell them what you feel is going on and they can investigate it. I wish you luck and say something to protect the child.
Also another thing, I NEVER had clothes on. I was always in my underwear. They were the one thing I would never take off.
Also another thing, I NEVER had clothes on. I was always in my underwear. They were the one thing I would never take off.
I am 15yrs old. I believe I was molested when i was 4-5. My mom has always believed I was. She said when i was that young I would walk around talking very inapropriate. I remember I called vaginas "cookie" and i called penis "hot dogs". Im not sure why though. I would also make barbie and ken have sex while I was playing with them. Another thing is ever since I was 4-5 Ive had a very bad temper and i never listened. I believe if I was molested, which i think I was, that it was my sisters cousin. His mom used to babysit me. I remember he would always want to be alone with me. Also, when I was younger I was always irritated down there & it would always hurt and bothet me. I also recall it being red. Im not sure what to think. I have alot of the signs. I just want someones opinion..
If a 9month to 1 yr old female child had been sexually molested would a sign also be her having a delay in speaking? This little girl is now 18 months and does not say any words yet. I believe she may have been sexually molested. She is often red in her private area and puts her hand in her pamper often touching her private area like she is wiping the area or rubbing the area. Plus the mother of the baby said she woke to the baby girl bowel movement out of her pamper yet the pamper was still on the baby girl and the mother did not seem to understand how this occurred. Also the mother mentioned that now the baby girl does not want her pamper on when sleeping at night. Plus the little girl is very clingy to her mother and cries when people come around her. She does not say any words, acts overly shy and she is now 18 months. Her mother mention her waking up screaming and crying out of her sleep and associated it with a bad dream. Do children this young have bad dreams? Are these signs of molestation or am I over reacting/overly concerned? When I said something to her mom asking if someone could be touching her or doing something to her, she said no, her dad has her and if they are around anybody when she (the mother) is working that the dad would not allow anything to happen to her. I think the dad may be molesting her if in fact that is happening. How would I know and if so how do I approach this first time mother without offending her? I'm concerned for the baby girl. Any suggestions or comments?
Distressed stick with your gut feeling what you have writen to me is very disturbing get the child help!! somthing is going on and it doesnt sound good help the child dont let the cycle continue. Save what you can of your own dignity and the childs inocence
I have been dating a man that has full custody of his daughter. I have seen things that make me believe he is molesting her. She has made reference to some inappropriate touching, I've seen her touch herself, she always clings to me, says she hates her daddy, she tells him not to touch us, locks us in her bedroom and says there are monsters out there and he admitted he was the one that told her that. There are locks on all the bedroom doors and she would lock the door at bedtime to keep the monsters out, she slept in the bed with her dad. He also showers with her, she is just under 4 years old. He lies a lot. I've been molested so I don't know if I'm just hyper sensitive to thinking these things or are those gut feelings I get that cause me not to be able to eat or sleep are real. Other people in their family have mentioned it to me, saying they know she is being molested, but it was his mother and I feel like if she knew she would try to protect her son and hope that it was done. When he said he took her to the doctors, while she had a bad rash saying he thought she was being molested, he said the doctors advised a bath, possible infection bt that was all, doesn't make sense to me. No follow up especially with visual signs of irritation. The little girl screams, acts out, is angry, cries to be taken out of the house away from him. He has secrets with her. He told her there are monsters. He seems the sweetest guy, do anything for u and smart... But its like I see right through that. I see him and her and I see it happening in my head. Like I'm psychic or something. I'm so confused. And the family assumed another child was abusing her yet no one did anything about it. Am I overly sensitive to this because it happened to me or is this happening? I didn't have these thoughts the first few months..now its all I can think of. I would think a little girl always just with her dad would push me away, not cling to me and push her dad away. I am extremely afraid to act on this and terrified of what's happening to this child. Because I am not doing anything. I've only been dating this person for a few months. Just under a year. He is very reclusive and I really feel like his family knows something and are hiding it, I've herd 2 of them make the comment, well at least its stopped now while she is young, maybe she won't remember. U can call me distressed
my four year old son told me that him and a nine year old boy suck each others dinkys the other boy is my boyfriends son. they are brothers the nine year old only visits everyother weekend and wednesdays. im so confused and sad i have so many feeling. i never want my son around him again. i feel for my boyfriend because they are both his sons but i feel like in order to protect my child of the abuse hes gone through he can never see him again
thank you the pictures are on the friends phone just everytime he is there he take more pic with his phone so it will be hard to get i just have this feel by the granddaughter talks and tell of these dreams that are not good. after i sore of mention it to daughter we are no longer to see the kids.
someconcerned: What type of pictures are being taking? If there nude one's of your granddaughter then you need to get one and take it to authoroties because that is against the law. Also as for being able to see your grand daughter I would file for grandparent rights through the court. There are laws for grandparents to have rights to see there grandchildren. Just don't give up whatever you do show your daughter you mean business and your not taking this lying down. Good Luck and I hope my advice helps you.
i have noticed rednesh in the private area of my granddaughter i have asked about it with her her answer was mom told me to say the doctor looked at it. and now the mother will not let us see our grandchildren i have called the child abuse hotline they told me can't do anything about this??? the mother is seeing this low life and i have noticed many pictures being taken when he is around. what can i do??????????
Well, i dont know were to start but the ages of 3 to 6 i was molested and raped by my dad's father.. i was to scared to tell because he told me if i were to tell my parets that my daddy would kill him and my dad would be in prison.so i wouldnt have a daddy or a grandpa anymore.. i waited four years before i told anyone, but the person i told was my dad's mother and she kept it a secret for 2 years.. i would have nightmares about the incident with my dad's father Charles.. whe i was 12 i called my dad's mother about 3am and told her i couldnt do it aymore i had to tell my mom.. well, i did tell my mother and she told my father. my dad i dont think believed the fact that his mother knew for 2yrs and ever said a word or did anything. i end up finding out when i came out with it my dad's two sisters and 1 of my sister's had the same stuff doe to them but not as bad as i had it.. charles olny got 10 yrs probation, but whe he didnt follow his probation orders he got 5 yrs n prison.. because of that sick man ive pulled and pushed people i loved away.i stay mad at the world and cant trust anyone. i keep my distance away from people. And now i have a kid i have dreams of charles touchig my beautiful little boy and that kills me more in side than what it did happening to me.. even known it was a dream.. i still have trouble sleepig constantly feel like someone is watchig me when really theres no one around.. i never wanted to have kids for the fear of something happening to them. but know that i have myself the best thig in the world i ot scared anymore i know what to look for i can sence things about people who are like that. thanks to my little man i grew a back bone and now i know i can protect my kid better tha what my parents did for me.. in my prospective it shows me and hopefully any one who reads this you cant trust the people that you think are really there for you. its hard to keep our kids from danger but we can sure n the hell try.. and raising my lil boy right and keeping him from getting his childhood ripped away from him like mine was is my goal in life and i thank my child for coming in to my world because of him i stopped doing drugs and seen that there is better ways to fight through the pain and scars you will carry for the rest of your life. i hope this helps other people to show you dont let your enemy see you beating your self up from what they did to you. show them that you won.. being stronger and showing no fear is the best thing to do.. well, thank you for reading my story.
This has help alot because, my daughter was molested by a niece in our family and, seems like the victim is always at fault more than the molester but, I pray for JUSTICE!! not just for my child but, for all child or adult.... Help all who have been hurt to see that the law has not statue of limitations for anyone. It never leave and hurts.
Anxious: Hi I feel that something might of happened to you. I don't think it was dreams you were having I think it really happened to you. It's not normal for a 5 year old or 8 year old to have dreams about having sex with your uncles. I think that you should have a private talk with your mom about all of this. It might upset her and she might have disbeliefs but she is your mom and maybe she can help you. Try talking to her and let me know how it goes. Also your actions towards men are signs of being molested.
Hi, I recently have been having thoughts that I was possibly molested as a child, and stumbled upon this blog in my quest for more information. I am currently in my early 20s and fear that I may have a repressed memory. My family of aunts, uncles, and cousins on my mother's side is very large and we all see each other often. Growing up I can remember being terrified that something was going to leap out of the dark at me, and would not close my eyes for hours, just waiting for something. I also remember having strange dreams of doing some type of sexual act with a few of my uncles around the ages of 5 or 8. I also have a distinct memory of getting under the covers with a ken doll and pretending to have sex with him at a very young age. I would act out the same kind of stories with my barbie dolls. I didn't really know what sex was but I knew it involved being naked under the covers. I had problems sleeping in my own bed all the way into middle school. I also remember the first time I was intimate with a guy, I felt like I had reverted to some state of childhood. I don't know if anything has happened to me that I am repressing, or if some part of me wants to believe it happened because of all of these strange things I have experienced growing up. I often find it difficult to approach guys, and am very protective of my friends whenever a guy is bothering them. I also feel wary whenever I am alone somewhere with any older male member of my family. Any advice you could give me on the things I am going through and what they could mean would be welcome. Thank you, and I wish you the best.
Dianne Huff: I'm sorry for what your grandsons are going through. What i would do if I were you is go back to court and see if they will put another emergency order in place. Basically extend the one that exists now. I also feel you should file for custody of them through the courts. I would also get them into counseling so this way you can also subpoena the psychologist into court so they can testify on the childrens behalf. Try this and let me know how it goes. You also might want to seek advice from an attorney. Let me kow how it goes. I'm sorry that you all have to fear this monster because it's not right what he did.
THAM: Thankyou so very much. I hope it all works out and goes well for you. Stay strong and I can't I hope to hear back rom you soon.
Thank you so much for the advice. I still haven't brought it up to him yet as he just got back from a trip but I plan to do it very soon once I decide the right way to do so. I will keep you posted as to what happens. This is such a great page. Thank you for taking the time to reply to everybody. It means a lot.
I need answers please..... My oldest grandson told us when he was ten that he had been molested by his stepfather when he was five, and the man also molested his younger brother which was 6 months old at the time, and the mans biological son! The law did nothing because it had been 5 years, they said it was basically his word against the mans, When the accusation was made there was an order of protection put in place for both boys, and now the order of protection is comming to an end 6/2011 then this monster will have total access to his biological son (who is now 6). God only knows this cant happen!!!!
Tham: I think what you did by telling your mom is the right thing to do. I also feel your mom and you confrontingyour dad is t right thing to do. I have to admit though a lot of times when a molester is confronted they will deny the truth but if your dad did do this to you hopefully the fact that he found God will allow him to be honest. I also feel if this did happen while he was using drugs maybe your mom, you and your dad can get through this and see counsseing toogether. Either way if this did happen there's no excuse for it and he is wrong for what he has done and the pain he has caused. I also agree with you and your feelings about your child that is on the way, your going to be a protective mom and I would not allow your dad to ever be alone with your daughter because of what happened to you. Myself I'm a mother of two girls and because of what happened to me I never left my girls alone with anyone especially males, do to my fears. I also understand your worried about your mom leaving your dad and you don't want your family torn apart but you need to realize if this happened to you your not the one that tore it apart your dad's the one that tore it apart along time ago by his actions.I wish you luck and let me know how it goes. Thank you for sharing with me.
By the way I don't think I mentioned that the reason I even decided to get it off of my chest right now is because I am currently 8 months pregnant with a baby girl. And I want to do everything in my power to protect her so this memory really is beating me up, just not knowing the truth. I just wish that the child molesters of the world would come out and tell the person that they hurt the truth because this feeling of confusion is the hardest part, for me at least. I really hope that I am wrong though about all of it. Please let me know what you think. Thank you so much.
Hello there. So I am a 20 year old female and about 3 years ago I had a shocking memory pop into my head of my dad molesting me when I was in diapers. It is only one instance and I hadn't thought about it for many years. Since it came back, I feel that maybe it answers a lot about my past and present self. I have suffered from panic attacks, anxiety and O.c.d since I was a very small child. I also had sexual thoughts and would "touch" my girl dolls in that way, even as young as 5 I can remember doing that. I also remember touching myself down there a lot when I was very young, even before elementary school. I just always knew what sex was. Granted, my parents did let us watch r-rated movies from a young age but not that young I dont think and even if it was that young, I cant understand how a child so little would be able to comprehend what it was. I also remember this one memory of me looking at myself in the mirror when I was about 8 and feeling disgusted and getting this very sickly feeling and having to sit down but not understanding why i felt that way. I just sat and cried. Another thing is I would stay up very late at night and not want to go to sleep most times and this stayed with me pretty much my whole life. Anyways, I never told anybody because I still to this day feel that maybe it was just a bad dream that I had when I was little and the memory that I had was just of the dream. But I remember the hurtful feeling that overcame me and everything. So last night I finally came out and told my mom about it because my father is on vacation and it was my only chance. And my dad was addicted to crystal meth at the time that the incident possibly occured but now he has been sober for 5 years and found god and I am really proud of him. I am just so afraid to talk to him about it because I know that it would hurt him if it was just a nightmare and i accuse him of it, and also my mom already said that if it's true she wants to leave him. but i would feel horrible because they have been together for almost 25 years now and things are going so good for them. I am so confused about what to do. Any ideas? Does it sound to you like it was real or do you believe its just a memory of a bad dream? I was probably only between 1 or 2 when it happened, and i distinctively remember the room and everything. I would just hate myself so much if it ended up screwing up my family.
New Mom: Hi sorry for the delay. My question to you is who else lives at the grandma's house? These are definetly some signs and Your not going crazy. Your concerned about your child and you should be. I would ask your son who is hurting him at grandma's house and where are they hurting him? Being a mom myself and being as over protective as I am If my child was acting like that when leaving there or when being dropped off there I would not leave him there alone. Also when your there with your child stay with him and see how he reacts around other people there. Does he avoid one particular person or crys when he see's a certain person? Don't be afraid to ask your son questions he is five and he will answer questions for you if asked. He may respond using nicknames for the area. Your far from crazy and definetly look into this more to protect your child and if something is happening don't take matters in your own hands contact authorities so that person can serve time for the crime they commited. Good Luck To You and I hope this helped.
D: Sorry it took me so long to get back to you. I believe sometimes fortune tellers are not accurate in some things. I do believe that if you feel something happened to you when you were younger then maybe hypnosis is the way to go. Hypnosis may reveal things that have been surpressed deep inside of you and when you wake from it you may remember things that happened as a child. This may cause you hurt especially if something did happen and you find out it's a family member so I just want you to prepare yourself for the emotions you may feel. I feel this is the right way to go so you can protect your children just in case and it will also ease your mind knowing if something took place and you can then ask the person why? I wish you luck and let me know how it turns out.
IDK: Hi I'm sorry for what your going through and I can only imagine the mental anguish this is putting on you especially with your baby brother. I think if I were you I would ask your brother in private if anyone has ever touched him in that area and see what his response is. He may use nicknames for the area. See what he says and then I would definetly go out with your mom to a park or something and talk to her in private about what happened to you. If your mom told you to call the cops on your dad for hitting you then your mom will listen to you and she will protect you. Understand though at first it may come to a shock for her but she is your mom and regardless how angry a mom gets her love for her child will never become less. Wgen you talk to your mom let her know that it could be either men. I feel telling your mom is the right decision and I feel it will ease your pain somewhat and also this way your mom can protect your brother from being harmed if it is your dad. I also feel you should seek counseling to help with the pain this has caused you because your innocents were taking away and this something that will stay with you for life and they can teach you ways to cope with it so it doesn't effect your relationships and cause you depression. I'm sorry for what has happened to you and my thoughts and prayers are with you. I want you to know telling your mom is the right thing to do so don't beat yourself up for that. Your very brave and strong and I thankyou for sharing this with me. Please let me know how things go and if you need someone to write to I'm here for you. Goodluck IDK and have a safe trip back to the UK. :)
Hi.
This is my first time telling someone other than my boyfriend and sister.
I am 20 years old college student. I think when I was 11 I woke up from dream/ nightmare that I was laying in bed with a man who was telling me how to rub his penis and touching me under the covers and another child playing on the floor. And at that age 11 I don't remember how I felt I think I cried and told myself I would never tell anyone.
I only remember the abuse once and think it only happened once
Throughout my ages I remembered and kept telling myself to forget it. At high school I think I forgot fully.
Then I cried a couple of night when I was 18 and one night I told my boyfriend bcuz i have a brother 3 yrs and i never want this to happen to him also I been Feeling the abuser was my father
I alway thought it was my aunt friend but I don't know why all I been thinking for the past 2 Years that it's my father but i feel its my aunt friend when I saw him at 13 yrs old he was very uncomfortable towards me. I moved to USA at 6 and he lives in uk. When I am alone at home with my father I feel uncomfortable and always avoid looking pics of him. I don't know if it because my father has huge eyes. My aunts friend and my father are similar looking. Also everytime Someone that resembles those to men I feel uncomfortable.
As a child and adult I always had issues sleeping, I don't know why as a child but as a adult I just like to sleep late. When I was a child I always had dreams that my mom was getting chased or hurt and I was trying to find her.
I grew up around a lot different family and friends until 6. After tht I had a babysitter and my dad. I didn't interact with many people. Alot of people tell me as a child I was very overly friendly and nice.
I don't remember who is was but I think it's either two men. I don't remember if it was in the uk or USA. All I know is it happened
I told my sister recently bcuz my brother came crying and he was aksing for my mom when he was fine 20 mins ago then. He was feeding him alone in his room (he does that when my bro doesn't want to eat) I don't live there and I want her to watch out but she totally disregarded that it could be my dad. Sometimes I feel certain things are werid but my bf doesn't see anything weird with my dad.
I do feel that I'm abnormal paranoid.
Now I'm going back to uk and I plan on telling my mom in 1 week and I don't want to hurt her I feel I need to tell her. I'm worried if she will blame me or hate herself. I will tell her everything EXCEPT THAT IT COULD BE MY DAD. Am I doing the right thing. I don't know why it so hard to tell her
I just wish it couldn't be my dad.
I always had a bad relationship with him, I didn't talk to him for 1 year as a teen he talked to me tho. Hs did hit me and kicked me at times and cops were called twice, my mom told me to call. Now I moved out and he sees me in college we have a good relationship but I still feel uncomfertable at times.
I think the only reason I'm think I revealed my story is bcuz of my bro.
I hope everything goes well. Wish me luck.
Great article
icantsay: I'm sorry for the pain you also endored as a child like myself. I also feel that schools should communicate and educate children on these hideous crimes, then maybe it will happen less. Thankyou for your comment and I hope in time your scars heal as well as mine.
Reading all your stories i cant help but feel the same hurt. I was molested as a child and i still remember the incident clearly in my head. I was 6 yrs old then. I just want to say that we should encourage parents to make kids aware of such hideous crimes. Schools should also create such awareness in a non traumatic way for kids. I know how scared i was telling my parents about it the man got away cause i was just afraid the second time it happen with another man after he sexually abuse me i started crying n shouting and then i told my mom but again he got away free cause of whatever reason it maybe i just dont know. I cant remember much of good memories of my childhood but i never could forget this Scar in my life. I want kids to live their life n remembering the best things that ever happen to them when they grow up n not remember the cruel thing that happen to them.
Mayae7198: Hi Sorry it took me so long to respond. Sorry to hear that your friend has turned against you but if your definetly sure that your friends child is being molested then you need to contact child protective services and let them know so they can investigate. The child is the one that counts and being molested is going to effect the childs future. If your friend is angry now she will thank you in the future and if she doesn't at leas you know you saved a child's life from the torment of being molested. Please contact CPS as soon as possible.
i told my friend that her child was being molested and now she hates me , and the child is still being molested.but that family trust that perp, who can help them? with out me
My daughter is two and a half and has recently become violent (hitting, slapping, kicking) towards people and or pets, has become afraid of sleeping in her bed so she has been sleeping with me, and had recently been wanting me to hold her so she can fall asleep. She had also given her clitoris a nickname (her bo-bo) and told me to spank it, that I'll like it. I asked her who told her that and she told me her daddy did (she has also said her dads 6 year old stepson pinched her vagina). He has custody of her every other weekend, I am not sure if she is telling the truth about WHO did it cause when I asked her to repeat it to my mom she also said that her nana (my mom) and I did it when asked if we did, but I am becoming convinced that SOMETHING is going on! I asked heer dad about it without saying anything about who she accused, and he says she is never out of his sight. I don't know what to do...any advise would be greatly appreciated.
dnt know wht to do i just read all the signs of sxual abuse,, and everything my son 5 year fis he peeing in he bed dnt want to go to grandmas does not eAT and always touch himself!! im depolyed and im hurtin down here hearing this frm my wife.. i im breaking , this is my family and they think that im just thinking crazy but deep down i know im not!! what should i do
I visited a fortune teller recently and he informed me that i was abused between the ages of 5-8. He was quite insistent. He stated that he didn't think i'd been raped but that someone had groped or fondled me. He asked me if i had any memory of this and i can remember my brothers friend looking down my pants when i was about 10, i think, however he was quite clear this was not what he was reading.
I have alawys felt that something wasn't right and that something may have happened to me. I experienced sexual feelings and curiousity at a young age. He suggested i try hypnotism however i am scared of unearthing something that i would be unabe to cope or deal with. What if its a memeber of my family? Has my mind covered something for a reason?
I can remember as a young child being at the back of my parents shed putting parcel tape over my private area, i am unsure what age i was but i know it was definitly younger than 7/8. I wet the bed until i was about 8 and even when i stopped i would have urinated at the top of the stairs instead of going downstairs to the toilet. I had quite a fear of the dark.
I am so confused and have 2 little girls that i want to protect and in some ways feel i have a duty to explore this further. Please help me shed some light on this.
The fortune teller got so many things right that were far to specific to guess and i feel that maybe i owe it to myself to explore this and move on. But how do i do this and do you think that its possible that i was abused? Please help i need to know what to do!!
concerned memaw: Sorry for not responding sooner. I feel that if he was accused of molestation in the past then I would not allow your grandson to be alone with him.. 2 year old children that are healthy and happy don't do things like your describing so I would definetly be concerned and I would keep your grandson from going over there. I would also ask your grandson if he has ever touched him there and then seek medical help and also contact the authorities. A person that has molested children in the past have a mental illness and will more than likely do it again just because it didn't happen to one family member doesn't mean it's not happening to the others... Take my advice and don't let your grandson near him until you know for sure and the only reason he probably got off before is because there wasn't enough evidence but however if your grandson say he is doing things then the charges in the past will be brought against him again as well as the new one's. Keep your grandson safe!!!!!
Lucy68: Your neice needs to get her daughter out of that house asap, I'm sorry but she is being molested. No two year old child will come up with something like that. Your neice needs to have her medically checked by a doctor as soon as possible. That man is sick and being a victim yourself because of him you need to save your neice from him. Also your neice needs to press charges against him and you need to go to the police station with her and file charges against him as well because there is no statue of limitations to child molestation.. Please Please get that little girl out of that house today!!!!!!!
My stepfather molested me from age 7-15. The whole time he was married to my mother. They divorced when I was 15. I told my mom what had happened and of course he denied it. A few years later they remarried. I was an adult by this time and stayed my distance from him. Now my neice and her 2 year old daughter live with my dad. My mother passed away 5 months ago. My neice is telling me that her 2 year old says her grandpa is tickling and licking her down there. With his past record with me, I am scared for my great-neice. What are signs we should be looking for? I don't want to accuse him without the facts but on the other hand, I don't want this to happen to her like it did me. Please help!! I need to know what to do.
I have a step grandson who has taken off all his clothes while playing and in the night he sometimes wets the bed, he also walks around holding himself and he has started telling head start teachers and his doctor that his mom hit him and I dont think she is i am just wondering if he has been molested, he has a great uncle who he spends the weekends with and this uncle has been accused of molesting other family members but he was let off the charges i have asked the boys mother and she said she dont think her uncle would or could do such an act cause she lived with him growing up and he never touched her..but again her cousins (boys I think maybe a boy and girl not real sure though) have accused him of molesting them....So what do I need to do to make sure my grandson is safe!!!
hannes: I'm not to sure but what is your sons age? In this case I would ask your son if something happened and also reassure him that he is not at fault and that his family will be safe. I would also question the grandmother about this and see when he was with her who else he has been around and you might want to reconsider allowing him to go there alone. I would definetly say that this is a sign of something going on but the question is what? did he see something? did someone touch him? Definetly talk to your son and ask him did someone touch you there or hurt you there and if he says yes and who it was call the police department and get your son help as soon as possible but don't take matters in your own hands because that will do you and your son no good. Also when talking to your son try to be understanding and remain calm because if you get angry and have a stern voice he will become afraid and you'll get no where with finding out what happened. Let me know how everything turns out..
cry for help: I understand what your going through and how you feel. I think your friend right now is in shock and denial and no parent wants to face the fact that there child can do something like that so therefore being a parent you place blame at each other. I think you both need to have your children see a counselor to receive the proper help they need and I also think your friend needs to face the reality of the fact that her child may have been molested by someone they socialize with no matter how much she wants to place blame she needs to get her child help and stop only taking her feelings into consideration.
I am not sure what to do! A friend of mine was told by another couple that her child tried to get their child to perform oral sex. When her child was questioned she expressed that my daughter was the one who brought it to her! When I asked my child she says my friends daughter made her do it! Now m friend thinks it was all my child and her child was a victim. She feels my child was molested and acted out on he child! I feel lime she needs to explore the fact that her chd may have been the one molested! I belie e my child and my friend is blind to all the facts considering another child was almost talked into it by her child! How should I handle this matter!!
I JUST WANT TO KNOW.MY CHILD HAVE BEEN VISITING HES GRANDMOTHER.WHEN HE CAME BACK FROM HER,HE WAS RUBBING HIMSELF AGAINST THE LOUNCH UNTILL HE IS STIFF AND HE HAVE PUT HES PRIVATE PART IN HES SISTERS FACE.I NEED HELP ASAP.
nperc- I agree with you.. It's possible that when children molest another child something could of happened or it can because they are curious and also shyness is a big part of it especially withdrawing from family.. We also should tell our children to tell us anything but depending on the parents and how they raise there children( example: If a child has gone to there parents for past issues like,pregnancy,drug use,etc.) and how they reacted and handled things in the past will determine if a child feels comfortable enough to go to there parents. Nperc thank you very much for addressing these other signs of child molestation I appreciate it.. Have a good day :)
how about when a child molests other children... or also when children that are very outgoing suddenly become shy. or are shy or withdrawn around certain family members. parents really need to be in tune emotionally with their childs reactions to others. and also ask your children straight out if someone has every touched them, and if so u would never be mad at them.
C- Sorry it took me so long to get back to you.. I think what's going on with you has nothing to do with being molested while you were very young I believe you possibly have a compulsive disorder and it has to do with germs and with a lot of people they have this disorder.. I would see a counselor or a doctor to be diagnosed properly because I can't make a diagnosis for you but this is something you probably should look into.. I would also see a dermatologist to see if you might have dermatitis which is a skin issue and also a lot of people have that as well. Your not alone and I also believe and feel that you should talk to your parents or counselor about what happened to you because what they did to you could be because they were molested by someone else and by telling your parents could actually help them with the possible pain there feeling as well... I hope this info is helpfull for you again I'm sorry for the delay in replying.
I am 14 years old and I've been molested by my cousins (they are brothers). At that time, they were very young too so I'm assuming that it was a vicious cycle. I have developed OCD (showering, washing hands, picking scabs, people touching my pens/pencils). In almost every article I read, people say that some signs include rashes, itchiness, or some kind of pain/sores in the private area. I have somewhat of that too but I never really understood WHY people say that. People who weren't molested have those problems too. Please explain that to me? The itchiness on my body is really bothering me and I don't want to tell my parents. It's embarrassing and I have no interest whatsoever in telling them. But... I really think I need help. What do I do with my skin?
TO Dianna,
Has anything been done about this? Your story so fits mine, I almost thoguht my mother wrote that about me and my daughter. So similar it's scary.
Dear TB I understand your fustration but don't do anything to put yourself behind bars because you'll do no good behind bars trying to help your daughter.. If I were you I would file for custody of your daughter and let the judge know about 6 people living in a 2 bedroom home because that's not suitable.Your daughter might have been watching something like nascar when she was possibly violated and she has that part etched in her brain from the tramatic experience.. What I would do if I were you because no child should know a knickname of a private area and no child would be naming certain area's of the body the way she is so I would ask your daughter if it's him ( the mom's boyfriend) and if she say's yes then I would go to your local police department and file charges and have them have your daughter medically checked to see if she has been sexually violated but a lot of times people wait to long and evidence of dna by showering or clothes being washed is destroyed but don't take the law in your own hands if it comes back that your daughter has been violated then go to the court house file for emergency custody and an order of protection so your daughter can't be any where around her mom's boyfriend or her mom because she's with him. TB like I said I know it's hard and you being her father you want to protect your daughter but don't take the law in your own hands because if you go to jail you can't protect her so try to think clear headed and do it the legal way..
Need help asap! I have a 4 year old daughter and haven't been with her mother for 2 years. I now have a son aged 3 months and been with his mother (my girl) for 2 years. Long story short she just recently have a guy with his 7 year old daughter and 3 year old son move in her 2 bed room apartment. She has my daughter and her daughter that is bout 8 months. Thats a total of 4 kids 2 bed rooms! She say she taking an overnite shift. She say her mother watches my daughter overnite while she at works. Her mother says she nows nothing about the overnite job. I asks my daughter regularly who washs her up and who can touch her down there. She have been giving me the right signs thats she ok. But 1 day she see's me changeing her lil brother and see's his penis and called it a "mickey". I ask whats a mickey? She just space out and makes something up. Once she say mickey's rubs on her coco, titties, and booty. Then she gat to talking bout car racing and blowing up. Then I ask her was it a movie, she say yeah. I'm not 100% belief. PLEASE GIVE ME SOME HELP! BEFORE I FIND HIM AND GO TO JAIL!
??? LOST I'm sorry for what your going through and I totally understand you being all over the page do to the emotions involved..Being your daughter is only two it's hard because she doesn't know how to express what's going on even though she's being hurt. If you found bruises in that area I need to ask you a few questions? or you can ask yourself and answer these questions....When she goes to her dads does she start to cry because she doesn't want to leave you? Was the bruise there before she went to her dads? Have you asked your son if his dad has ever touched him inappropriately? Did the bruide in her private area show up after a visit to her dads house? My suggestion to you would be one is if the bruise is still there take a picture immediately? Definetly do the well check take her to the doctor explain the situation to the doctor so he can see if her hymens broke, better yet take her to the er right now and explain the situation... In most cases if you feel your child was molested it's best not to bath them until they are examined in case there is dna left on them because that's the best evidence for legal reasons. I do want to let you know that if you do take her to the doctor or er and they do find that she was violated being it's there job they will contact authorities and CPS and will question you. If it comes back that your daughter is being molested I would go to family court/superior court and file for emergency custody and a restraining order immediately if it's her father violating her.. Don't feel that your being paranoid your a mom and your doing what a mom should do and that's protecting her children and Like I tell everyone being a mom myself alway's go by your insticts because they are almost always right.Also if you feel your daughter is unsafe with her dad until she is seen by a doctor then don't let her go to his house or your son because your son could be being molested as well. Make up an excuse that there both sick or something you can think of.. I know it's hard for you to process but I don't feel your over reacting just be careful because your daughter is only two and she doesn't understand probably what your asking her and this might become frustrating to you but take a deep breath and try to think clear headed and talk to the one called mamaw about what your feeling because I'm sure she will give you comfort and suggestions as well.. I'm here for you if you need someone to talk to and if you want to keep me updated on how it turns out and again I'm sorry for what your going through..
A couple weeks ago my daughter (who is 2yrs old) came home from her dad's house, her mamaw told me that when she was giving her a bath she said her kitty cat hurt. Her mawaw asked her why and if someone had touched her and she said yes.. When she was unable to get her to tell her who touched her she asked if her brother (my 4yr old son) had touched her and she said yes. When she told me this I immediately asked my 4 yr old if he had ever touched sissy's kitty cat and he said no. My kids don't share a room together and are rarely playing alone together. After talking to both I figured she said that cause her mamaw asked her specifically if he had touched her.
I noticed a small circular bruise on her butt cheek (close to her kitty cat) yesterday. The bruise looks to be days old.. Lately she has been having potty accidents, much more than usual and has been very moody. I asked her tonight if anyone has touched her kitty cat and she said yes.. I asked her if bubby did it and she said yes.. I asked her if daddy did it and she said yes.. I asked her if mommy did it an she said yes..
Just to add some background... About 4-5 months ago I noticed she was hunching pillows and blankets when she went to bed.. I asked around and read a million online articles that said it was normal and a lot of toddlers do it as a soothing technique. She doesn't exhibit any sexual knowledge or know how.. She does know the basic butt, kitty cat, peepee and boobies. I have never seen her exhibit any sexual curiosity as far as trying to touch any other children or adults or vice versa.. She is and always has been, scared to death of big/heavy set men. This has been like this since she was a tiny baby.
I am just lost.. I am making her a doc appt to see if he can tell me if I am just being paranoid or if it looks as if she has been touched. I can't fathom the thought, it is all very hard to process.. I am sorry if this is all over the place, Im just trying to process it all...
Hannah P : Hi I'm sorry for what your dad did to your brother's. I would definetly tell someone about this happening. I'm pretty sure if it happened once it is still happening. If you found your brother naked underneath a blanket while he was in a room with your dad then your dad was doing more than just tickling.. Don't be disguisted with your brothers for what your dad has done because it's not there fault and as for your mom she's in denial. I would if your in school go to your school counselor and tell them what you saw and experienced that day and they will see to it the proper authorities are contacted and that an investigation takes place. Don't be scared of what might happen because your doing what's right and your dad is the one in the wrong here. I feel that your dad was doing things to your younger brother from what you wrote and when you walk in the room and saw your brother naked underneath the blankets your natural instincts and gut feeling told you what happened, and what you felt is exactly what was happening. So to keep your brother safe tell your counselor or go to your local police agency and they will help you. Also if your dad has a drug probleme they can give them the help he needs as well.. I'm here if you need any more advice.
I really need help, this is eating away at me inside.
My father was on drugs for most of my life as a child. He has never exhibited any inappropriate behavior, other than tickling us, which he used his mouth to do. (Not on our genitals)
When I was in sixth grade (I am a freshman now) my mother left the house to go to sort something out at our restaurant and I was left home alone with my father and two brothers. He was high, but I don't know what he was on. He was tickling my then four/five year old brother then falling asleep again. They went upstairs, and then I don't know what happened.
I heard my brother screaming (my then nine/ten year old brother) and he came downstairs, almost completely fine. My dad had been rough with him, tickling him really hard.
Then I heard my other brother screaming. I didn't think anything of it, but when I went upstairs, my baby brother was crying and under the blankets completely naked. My father was staring blankly at the television, his back turned to my brother and I, also completely naked. He noticed me and gave a sort of indignant noise at me being in there, and I grabbed my brother and ran. I put clothes on him and then ran over to my neighbors house.
My little brother seemed fine after that, but I asked him what was wrong, and he just said, "I don't know."
I asked him if he was touched inappropriately, and he said yes.
I told my mother what happened when she got home. She laughed, but confronted my father about it. He got pissed off and drove away.
My mom thinks that he was just being too rough, but why were they both naked?
My brother (now seven years old) has become sort of an exhibitionist. I can't be around him while he's naked, and I hate it that my dad is too. I'm disgusted by his nakedness, and I can't even help him get dressed when I babysit him. I can't talk to my father anymore, and I'm disgusted by him as well. If he's in the room I just freeze up. Is it possible that I am more traumatized by this incident than my baby brother? Is my mom denying it happened because she wants to stay with my father?
I don't think it's happened again, but I don't know!
My dad doesn't seem like that kind of person. Was it just the drugs?
My baby brother seems completely fine (apart from the showing off of his genitals, which everyone thinks is cute and hilarious). I have a pit in my stomach.
Please, if you can, tell me what you think. I don't know what to do. I just want to protect my baby brother.
secret 4663- I just want to tell you I'm so very sorry for what you and your siblings had to go through. Noone has the right to take your innocence away. What he did to all of you is totally wrong and I feel you and your siblings need to come forward and tell a police officer about what happened because justice needs to be served and also if he did this to all of you then he is still continuing doing this to other children or family memebers. There is no limitations on molestation and charges against a person can be brought against them even though it was years ago. I think your very brave to come forward and it's a start and I ask you to please go to the authorities and press charges against that man for the wrong he has done and the pain that he has caused you and your family. He commited a crime and he needs to do the time. I thankyou for sharing this with me and I'll help you through this as much as I can and please keep in touch with me and let me know how it is going. Stay Brave and remain strong because there is help out there for you.
i was melested as a child.by my uncle and i just found out a few days age that my sister was also after a fight with her and my mom.over a house situation.tending to interfear with a lot of drama.As a youg child i was melested over @ a nannys house but i call her my grandmother. i was young. i felt what he was doing was wrong in side but also i also didn't think of it that way.Everytime my brothers and sister would go down there he wouls fell or even touched us inapropertly. basicly wed have sex.He would take us into a place called "Da deed Drop" as he would call it. It was just woods with a buntc of things to do.i remeber him just filling in my pants and in my private areas.Sometimes i fell like everytime i or the family goes to the house. Ill know what he did. One day he looked @ me and i thouht about it. I basicly said to myself apointing it to him that you know whatyou did.
love secret 4663
To all that have read my articles and shared with me I'm sorry that I haven't answered everyone's questions in a timely manner. I took a break from hub pages and didn't think my article would of got so many responses but I'm back on here know and I'm willing to give you the best advice to lead you in the right direction.Please if I haven't answered your question feel free to ask me again.
Tialove&life: Thankyou so much for answering some questions on my hub I greatly appreciate it and the advice that you gave.
??????? I'm so sorry for the pain your going through and I totally understand how you feel because I went through the same. I think you need to contact the authorities and let them know what happened to you and how long ago because they might be able to still do something about because if I'm correct there is no statue of limitations on molestation which means no matter how long ago it was your dad can still face charges for the crime he commited years ago. I also think you should face your grandma and let her know that you know she knows and ask her how come she never did anything and tell her how dare you allow that to happen to me? I think you have so much anger inside because you want to say it but your holding back due to your family memebers and what they might say but who cares let them get mad you were the one violated and your the one suffering inside. whatever you do don't strike out out of anger but let your family know and who knows maybe your dad thinks you don't remember and you might have other family members that he probably done this to as well that will come forward with there pain that there hiding as well. I think your very brave and your taking the appropriate steps to start the healing process. I'm here for you..
Diana: I would go ahead and take the lie detector test..If he's friends with people in the court system or daycare that is considered conflict of interest. If you feel beyond a reasonable doubt that this happened then you need to make an appointment with her doctor explaining the situation so they can exam her and if it comes back positive then you need to contact authoroties meaning police right away because they have no choice but to take action especially if she saying her dad did it then also go to the court and file an emergency order for child custody and an order of protection. I'm sorry it took so long for me to respond please let me know how it goes.
I was molested most of my young child hood by my father. I repressed the memory till I was attacked in Africa by a man and now I am dealing with Remembering everything, everyday of my life, its always with me. I have been dealing with remembering for almost two years now and its been OK the past six months other than tonight, which just so happens to be Christmas and I can't begin to fall asleep. See the thing is that my grandma new and never did anything, and i am going to her house today for Christmas and I have not a once in my body that once to. I am so angry right now, and I have an amazing therapist but I just am mad at this moment in time and all I want to do it sleep but I can't. I am so mad and its Christmas....... I don't understand how my grandmother could have done nothing, I don't get it. I don't understand how my father could have done this and now I have to live with this the rest of my life!!!!
Carlena: If the boy's father raped him and wants to see his son again I would say ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!! That's like throwing the Devil in front of that little boys face.. Also why put the fear of it happening again in him. In retro spect if you were raped your self would you want to be face to face with that person.. Keep The Little boy safe by keeping him away from the one that raped him..
ashamed thankyou for your comment and I am glad I was able to help you.. Feel free to come back and chat with me some more.
ANON: I know what your going through is hard and yes anything is possible but there's also alot of factors involved.It depends on what he is being accused of is it just touching or is it in more depth..Did they find DNA samples? When they do an investigation especially on situations like this they normally due a test on a child to see if penetration happened or if any other damages occured.I feel that being an aunt of a child and knowing what you know about your brother that you should notify the police of what you just told me so they can take a look at him and also if your brother was watching under age porn on a computer that is against the law and they will seize his computer and find out.. You can't worry about about the fact that your sister will lie to them but you definetly should do something because your neice is saying different things and if your botfriend is innocent and in jail and if it's your brother that's doing that to his daughter then she isn't safe so do what you need to do to protect her by talking to the police no matter what anyone say's. If your family gets mad they will in time get over it. Think about it your neice in time will have a sleep over and have her friends there with your brother, you and only you can save them from your brother possibly doing the same to them... I'm here for you and you'll find alot of other publishers here on hubpages that will talk to you and give you advice. Were all like one big happy family..
My niece has accused my boyfriend of touching her, he was arrested and charged. However her statement to the police is completely different to what she has told other members of the family, also when I was a child my sister told me that our brother, the father of the child in question had molested he (he was 18 at the time and she was 9) my sister has also told me recently that my brothers wife had told her that she caught my brother watching under age porn. Does anyone think it's possible for a child to blame someone else when it's her father that's abusing her? The little girl is aged 8. I asked my sister if she thinks it could be my brother and she said 'no', she also said if I tell the police about what happened to her she would deny it! I feel like I'm going crazy, I don't want my partener to get away with it if he has touched my neice but I also don't want him to go to prison for something he hasn't done. I hVe a 5 year old child with my boyfriend and she crys herself to sleep every night because she misses him. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks
i was impressed by your blog i am ashamed to admit that this has happened to me by a person i have to see all the time and i was not sure how to deal with my issue till now your artical was a big help and i also orderd one of the books that you have listed and it is opening new doors for me if it wasnt for your artical i would still be holding everything inside i hope to hear back from you soon to be able to thank you for saving me .
not ashamed any more William
annymonous: I can only imagine what your going through and I know having flash backs is very hard to deal with and the not knowing the truth if something happened to you is very bothering to you but my suggestion to you is to sit down with your siblings and talk to them and just be straight forward because it also could of happened to them. I think if they know you experienced the same thing it will bring you all closer together and maybe you and your siblings can confront the person that did this to you and ask why? I think all of you need closer to be able to move forward so you don't have to carry that pain or the question of did it happen for the rest of your lives.. I'm sorry that this happened to you and your siblings and I hope this helps you..
where can I find help for my granddaughter who was molested by her custodial father and disclosed to DCFS with whom he has a "friend" and is a licensed day care and they found it unfounded because of lack of evidence and from there have set the pattern that the child is not credible to all in authority even though the child's statement is very credible but the perpetrator is appearance wise an upstanding citizen albeit illegal immigrant and lied under oath, but he looks good and he is a salesman with a good sales pitch, he has tried to accuse others of telling her to make this up, my daughter took a lie detector on that note, I and my friend plan to take one on that note, he refuses to take one and the child is only 8 so unable but willing to take one - where is help for my dear grandchild What can a parent who believes her child do to protect her when the courts are putting this off to a child custody issue when there was no proof of such previously and the man is so charming that he gets the officials in his pocket, where is there help to fight the entire system that is supposed to be fighting for the child but fights against the child and protects the predator instead
hi my name is Carlena i have a young boy who i will not name but has being rape by my brother's father, but his father what to see is son angain what do i do?
i have a question..i have been having flash backs to when i was a young child of being sexualy abused but i cant seem to see the face of the person who was doing it to mwe..i think it was my father but dont rember cause i was younger than four..i have sibblings who said they were mollested but i never relvelved to them i was too cause i am not sure i only see through flash backs.but cant remeber..i also find it starnge that my father and all his sibblings are not on speaking terms..and that there is a seceret in the family..i dont want to falsly accuse my dad but i just have that i dont trust you feeling when i am around him..i was a big time tatle tale when i was younger always telling on my brothers and etc.so i cant imagine i was molested cause i would have told ...what can i do to see if this is triue cause its been so long 30 years
I think I might have been sexually abused as a child. I have no memory and my family pretends my childhood was "perfect" however I remember 'teaching' my friend how to perform oral sex on me at 6yrs old. That's not something a 'normal' 6yr old would do is it? That seems to be a sign of abuse doesn't it?
it has just neem brought to my attention a few hours ago, my son may have been molsted by an x room mate who has moved, she got her children taken away fo molesting them. which i had no clue eiter, a few days ago my son blurted out to his grandmother and father dont hurt me dont hurt me. his father lives with me and is never alone with him and his grandmother is barely round. what should i do. he is only 2 and is special needs???
I saw a movie trailer that presented masked men and although the trailer didnt bother me, my daughter who was also present during the commerical saw me go from my normal self into someone totally terrified and acted like i was a child. she asked me what was wrong and i kept telling her he was real; the man was real and i felt helpless, defenseless, backed into a corner etc....the trailer i dont even really remember except the face and it made me think of darkness and a moon shinning on them...my husband kept telling me that it wasnt a real face just a mask but i kept saying, no; he is real, he is real.
what is this about? i have dreamed of tornadoes and elevators being unable to get out or away from them for so many years. What is all this?
I don't want to give my name. I just want someone to give me advice on how to help my friend and her daughter who is my GOD child. I found out her stepdad has sexually molested her for at leat 3to 4 years. My friend is also a victim of that type of abuse 15-20yrs ago.
They are starting therapy but my friend really doesn't want to relive what happen to her in therapy. I tried to explain to her it will help her heal and also help her daughter. Can anyone give me some advice on getting her to understand she needs to deal with her past in order to help her daughter heal for her future?
To any suspecting abusee's try many series of cranio-sacral therapy (CST)! It is so amazing in unwinding the traumatized tissue, even if the abuse was done 5,6,7 decades ago. It will raise suppressed memories from the grave and you more than likely will have flashbacks and your answers. To those that know and with all the counseling, and endless hours of talking and talking and talking about it and just dont seem to be getting any closer to your healing and feeling even somewhat whole again try CST!! It will fast forward your healing and your body will release the trauma in a way talking about it will not. Feeling whole, enjoying sex, being happy and not always depressed and like you're loosing your mind at times is possible. I only hope that you are able to find amazing Cranio-sacral therapists to walk the path with you.
I met my husband from another state here where we married in my home town. He is very immature but i never thought much of it. We've had problems with his lies and cheating with his two daughters mom. It always seemed to me she is holding something over his head. I always thought it was the kids! She tried to warn me several times but never said the right things: guess she had no proof either! Their daughters 3 and 10 came to my house for the summer; 3 year old dont spek much, not potty trained, cries at bath and diaper changes (refuses to let anyone clean the private area), claims she is scared when u get her out the bath NOT cold but scared i made sure, plays very indecent with barbie dolls and takes their cloths off, both girls DONT sit like little ladys, 10 year old claims she hates her dad, barely passed last school year, was mentioned by her mother that the teacher found a notebook with sexual content in it, has rage, depression, anxiety, is medicated for it already, locks her bedroom door and asks me not to go to work everyday. Im shocked I dont know who to blame or where to start! Should I blame my husband? I think in my mind i already am!
yes i have a question. my 8 yr old neice says that my boyfriend "tickled" her. she told my mom, and her mother. her mom went and pressed charges. i'm not sayin i dont believe her, its just that her story is never straight when its told and i dont see how it could have happened. he was never left alone with her for it to happened, because he always made sure of that so this would never happen. they took her to get checked, and i was wondering if anyone know how long it take for the vaginal examine to still be good? how long does it take to heal?
dont wanna say: no you are NOT wrong being scared of the outcome. scared is a naturual thing and we all feel it no matter what the situation or age.
first, your mother's job is to protect her child(you), you said she saw but didnt mention her reaction. If she did something about it then good for all but if not then she has failed her job. You are only 14 and a child so you have every chance of help in a lot of ways ou there for you that i didnt have access to i.e if you confront your family and tell them what you have being going through and that it has caused you to be in trouble, if they dont accept it like with my family what had happened and that your the child here not your molester then you can get proffessional help.
trust me from experiance, i wish i had the courage to go to the authorities and gotten justice,also the amount of stess it caused is something unbearable and i had post tuamatic stress, i was always unhappy, my eating desorder got worse, i didnt grow properly, i became anti social, i lost touch with friends, i was disconnected from the world, i started smoking (cigaretts..everything mentioned above gotten worse and developed more more and more.
the fact is i didnt have the courage to go and seek help and never told a sole (untile last year i told my boyfriend).
However it all depends on what level of sxual abuse you experianced because you're too young to leave home; if its pretty bad and your in alot of disstress then go and seek prfessional help or find an adult you can trust i.e teacher, your doctor, or a friends mum that wont go to your mum without your permission.
gooooooood luck my dear and take care...dont worry, keep ur head up, you are not wrong, your humen, he/she are unhuman like animals, you deserve better, and remeber if you keep this like i did, it will kill you and if not then it will always b on ur shoulders; so say it out by talking 2 some1 and b sensative in who you share it with.
god bless you..read my story above your one x
WHEN i WAS YOUNGER i WAS MELOSTED BY AN OLDER GUY AND HE WAS A FRIEND OF THE FAMILY AND I DIDNT SAY ANYTHIN BECAUSE I DIDNT KNOW WHAT HE WAS DOIN WAS WRONG!!!I REGRET NOT SAYIN ANYTHING IM 14 YEARS OLD AND I STILL REMEMBER EVERY DETAIL WHAT HAD HAPPENED TO ME!!!IVE BEEN GETTIN INTO SOME TROUBLE AT SCHOOL IVE GOTTON SUSSPENED AND IVE BEEN WRITIN IN THIS JOURNAL T0 LET MY ANGER I MENTIONTED THIS INCENID AND MY MOM SAW IT AND TO THIS DAY IM SCARED TO TALK BOUT IT!!!!!!!!!!!AM I WRONG FOE BEIN SCARED!?????
mR sTOMPER: yES yOU CAN, do something about it now while you can; no matter the cost or how many adults get hurt by it. who cares, its not their lives, future relationships and health etc.
you can go to your ex's house and ask her if your son can stay with you for a few days (if there's no restrictions to see your child)an not let her sense anything of your intentions.
let him have fun for the first 2 or 3 days an have 1-2-1 conversations with him the first few days with no inturuptions where he can get the chance to think of all the negative thing that the abuser promised and bottle it up again.
because you've built him up to be open with you (and show him that your open too) due to your 121's, you then ask him indirectly ie i went to a wedding last week and the father of the groom was much proud and I cant wait for you to get married and kids, a big house, a kool car and babies saying daddy daddy.... and warm the conversation up a bit before you dive in to direct questions as you dont want to frighten the child more.
remember, every word has different meaning depending on the context its in, if you say that laughing at the same time as serious then it would be harsh as saying it with a strieght face; as you dont want the child to think their an adult already and accept whats happening to them an let it carry on.
Caution, believe me from experience, you need to let the child know first why he should answer to you and that is your trust with what, by telling him that know one will be mad at him and will love him always, nothing will change i.e school, fun, friends.lifestyle wise and that nothing is his fault.
when you do that they will think, 'OK what i'm gonna say r just gonna be words with no meaning' and they will not be scared of the outcome or the definitions of those words.
Once the child admits then you have your prof to go to the police and keep your child with you. the police will call childrens authority and collect the other child..but the only evidence you can get is by your son spiling the beans and you can make him tell but not the other child, unless your close with him.
my abuser was a close family and he was certainly not a respective person but always had access to me 'alone' which should never happen, and if did then the responsible person of that child saw it coming and didnt acknowledge the idea of such. eventually after years (age of 4-12) of being told he loved me and I would get in trouble and be dead by my family, I then developed an eating disorder and still carry it. he went and told the whole family and my mother confronted me..before i got the chance i was back handed, kicked and punched, before i could say anything. I thought he was right what he used to say that I would get beats and that I should deny if ever asked.
I was heart-broken 2ice by him and by my mother. she then started to abuse me mentally and physically (beats) and called all sorts of names.
he came back and toke him under her wing and I had no one to turn to, we were in a different country where we owned a hotel, my father was not there nor siblings or friends..and nor did they all call.
I only had one person to turn to and my mother got jealous of our relationship and told her to not befriend me.
I was left with nothing and no hope, then another guy came along and when i told her i got punishment all the time and he never stopped teasing me, lighting the gas of me and my mother, cutting my friends off me and certainly pushing me to a wall to kiss me.
unfortunately i still live with her because i came back to the UK as an adult who lost the confidence, and the confidence to speak English, friends were gone, siblings didnt care much except one (but not the same because u want someone who isn't related and who is the same age not 11 years older who you've been apart for 5 yrs), I had sever anxiety, depressed and left the only person i loved behind, a guy i met. he taken my virginity away from me, my childhood,my mother, ability to be happy and alert and reduced a lot of my creativity as i dont have fun and still isolate my self. ability to trust and ability to be open, as i have been so secretive all my life until now and find it hard to say what i need/want to say at times(even at the age of 22, due to not having a relationship with my mother.
The one thing that i can never forget or recover from it is because the reaction i got from my own mother, who i thought the world of and believed i my eyes nothing/no one was greater than her. and hate her more than my abuser.
So, please, go and do something about it before your child hates you for the rest of their lives.
by the way, since then i didnt have sexual intercourse with a man, not because of pain but because my mother's reaction and family had turned sex in to a nasty thing thing in my eyes and carry the fear of my mother in my heart and dont want it too..even that i'm an adult and have every right.
So, for those perants that the child provokes it are wrong..if only my mother knew now that i havnt slept with a man despite all the freedom i have and the names she used to call me, she would take it back. because if i was a whore like she said i would be getting payed for it by now and sleeping with every single guy that i or have dated...
thank you, and hope that helped for what its worth if u dont do anything that is how their lives will end up, i mean my mothers lucky to still see my face but some children will disappear from the earth your on and you will then end up somewhere bad.
i am having trouble. im not even close to the perfect guy me and my ex argue all the time she was cheating on me and i found out.After we split she quit going to church and the pastor says he think her oldest son is being molested and looking at the sighns on this page he has ten out of twelve.The pastor of my church has just retired and says he doesn't want to get involved because he doesnt have evidence to prove it.I feel trapped because i called the police and turned her into cps and cps never even investigated anything and her best friend has admitted that her father has taken pictures of them naked my ex denies it but one year earlier her brother told me that he found naked pics of them on their fathers computer and her father denied it then changed his thoughts after his son said he saw them. then he said my ex's ex boyfriend took them im afraid for her oldest son who is nine and my son who turns six in june. WHAT DO I DO OR CAN I DO ANYTHING?
i have concerns that i may have been molested. he was accused of it numorous times but no one listened. or investigated. i remeber becoming sexually active with myself at an early age of 6 i dont know why and i never said anything to anyone my hubby dont even know about that and i dont remember anything. if anyone can assist me in understanding what may have happened please let me know
This was a good post. I wonder though why they call it child molestation when a family member does it, and rape when a stranger does it? No one and I mean no one has the right to touch a child in that way. I've been through it twice in my life and I never want to go through it again. God Bless you.
I learned a few things about sexual abuse signs to look for I didn't know before - thanks for sharing
Lonely Gurl: You are welcome and it is my heart's desire to spread the word , thank you for your comment.
Thank you for spreading the word about this heinous crime! I think the more we talk about it, the easier it will be to address. My motto is education is prevention in action. We can't prevent what we choose not to educate ourselves about.
ChristianQ: I am glad you were inspired and I will definitely check out your hub.
totalcowboy: I certainly will
guess: You have nailed it right on the nose
nigelking: I will be reading
LostChild: You did the right thing.
AnnieMc: I honestly don't feel your over reacting you being a mom go by your insticts because there almost always right. I feel the 18 year old needs a psychological evaluation and also severe counseling. Don't doubt yourself because of what your family members think I feel as a mom your protecting your youngest children and any mom in your position would do the same.I know i would.
I have an 18 yr old step-son who was living with us. I also have 2 boys of my own who are 7 & 10. The 18 yr old is very jealous of the 10 year old & he has a lot of sexual issues. He is not sure if he is gay or straight, he has been brought home by police for walking naked down a major highway in the middle of the night because he said he was hoping to have sex with anyone who would have sex with him and twice now he has stolen my 10 year olds underwear for sexual purposes (these are just the more recent issues). I feel that he is a danger to his brothers and he has been banned from our home until he goes and seeks professional help (which we told him we would pay for). Am I crazy for being afraid of what he would do next? I am so afraid for my other boys. My husband's family refuses to give him the same option (you can't be around the kids until you go and seek professional help). They keep saying that he would never hurt a child and that if anything he loves kids too much (again a problem that I have seen with him). I don't feel that it is safe for my kids to be around him at this point and I have refused to go to any parties that the 18 year old will be attending. The extended family feels like that is my problem. Do you think I am taking this to the extreme? I am starting to doubt myself.
There are also other signs of abuse in the home. My brother sexually abused me for 4 years. Some of the above mentioned signs are very true. However, sexual abuse occurs in older children, such as myself. I got in trouble constantly in school. I ran away so many times just so i wasnt in the same house as my brother. To date, he will not admit to anyone what he did to me. However, i stay on it. All i want at this point in an apology and he will never hear from me again. He stole 4 years of my life and thinks it is ok. I tell everyone I know and anyone who will listen what he did to me. It is my way of healing. These things don't just go away. The victim has these wrongdoings burned into their brain. The long-term effects can be devastating on relationships. When i "told" i was called a liar. I now have nothing to do with my biological family. They have all turned their back on me. But, do i regret saying something? NO! It started the healing process. After all, how can one heal when they keep it bottled up? The most freeing thing was confronting my abuser.
Very good Hub. Keep up the good work. I have related subjects on my Hubs.
those are some exact signs, but some dont even listen when the child tells on the perp,and nonthing is done, so please parents out listen when your child says something aint right and some one has touched then take notice do something then break the cycle before your child breaks the law from the repressed memories. and pulls a blade or heat on the child molester
As a victim myself of a child napping and rape, Thos are many of the common signs, Thank you for you insight and and great hub. Want to know more of me, see my story in my hubs.
Thank your for your insight. I was inspired by your story in your other hub. Another good hub on the subject: http://hubpages.com/hub/Child-Sexual-Abuse-Prevent
yourdogtocall: My recommendation is to contact a Psychologist or Psychiatrist I am certainly not a nurse or a doctor but the answer to your question going through my own experience I would certainly have to say yes! A repressed memory can have a physical memory and can reproduce based on the sensory memory.
I perfer to keep my name private. However is there ever an instance where a child has gone through molestation in a soully masterbatorial sense. Could this kind of abuse leave signs such as chronic urinary track infections? Could a repressed memory of this if performed on an infant or toddler who is also being emotionally, verbally, and physically abused in a different non-sexual way cause problems of early signs of sexual abuse; such as vaginal moisture at a young age that is chronic and persists with little or no stimulation? I guess what I want to know is can a sexual abuse repressed memory have a physical memory that the brain even as a sexually active adult not be able to handle and the body remember and reproduce the sensation in a sensory memory?
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anon 3 weeks ago
My husband and I are both survivors of child abuse. He was molested by his half-sister and I was taken advantage of by an older neighbourhood playmate. Because of this, we both have a lot of issues dealing with our feelings, self-image and our sexuality. These incidents affect both of us, almost every day, particularly in the way we deal with other people.
He is the first person I've told about my incident with the neighbour, except for my mother (whom I told the day it happened and she chose to never do anything about it, never even told my father). He alone has helped me open up about it, and become a stronger person, because his wonderful family helped him to deal with his issue (and thankfully the person who hurt him is no longer a part of their lives).
Please, if you feel that a child you know and love is being abused, contact the authorities. Tell somebody. To this day I have a rocky relationship with my alcoholic mother (herself abused as a child by her brothers) because I blamed her for what happened to me.
Without my amazing partner I believe I would still be unable to deal with this issue. Talking with someone who understands and has been through a similar time helped me SOOO much. Everybody deserves to be happy and SAFE!!!!